“I just went to the doctor today, I got a chest X-ray of my lungs and discovered that my breasts are uneven … I was like standing there with these doctors and they’re like looking at my lungs and I just couldn’t—it felt like an elephant in the room—and I was like, ‘Are my breasts uneven?’ And they were just kind of, like, stifled and uncomfortable, obviously. So I kept thinking, ‘Well, I’m gonna dig myself out of this hole by bringing it up again’ … So he was like, ‘All right, our radiologist will get back to you about your lungs.’ And I was like, ‘And my breasts.’”
Tag Archives: boobs
It looks Justin Bieber is adapting to single life quite nicely. This week, he got to second base with a fan at a Florida meet-and-greet. Or maybe he was just squeezing her boob to help prevent breast cancer. How gentlemanly of him! Either way, the girl appears to be enjoying it very much. I hope Selena Gomez was out grabbing a penis somewhere. [ONTD]
Click through for more celebs getting felt up.
- I guess “feminism” now means tweeting pictures of your cleavage with the hashtag #KUboobs to support your college sports team? At least that’s how some
footballbasketball fans at the University of Kansas see it. Oh, fighting about “choice feminism”: will it ever get old? [Feministing]
- On the Supreme Court’s historic Roe vs. Wade decision at 40 and reproductive justice for black women. [Ms. Magazine]
- A Satmar Hadis who sexually abused an Orthodox Jewish tween girl in Brooklyn, while supposedly “counseling” her to be more religious, has been sentenced to 103 years in prison. [New York Times]
- Guess who’s to blame for gun violence? “Welfare moms,” duh, says this Republican. [Think Progress] Keep reading »
In case you were wondering, and I know you were, breasts can be used as a weapon. Washington woman, Donna Lange has been charged with second-degree manslaughter for smothering her 51-year-old boyfriend to death with her boobs. This weekend, at a Snohomish County trailer park, neighbors called the cops when they heard a man screaming for a “woman to get off of him.” When police arrived, they found a drunk Lange on top of the man, “her chest was smothering his face.” He was pronounced dead on the scene. No word on Lange’s motives.
This is not the first time a pair of boobs almost killed a guy. In December, a German man narrowly escaped a similar fate when his ex-girlfriend nearly motorboated him to death. She claimed that she meant the him no harm — that they were only playing a “sex game.”
Let this be a lesson to us all, boobs, when used without the appropriate precautions, can be dangerous. [Local 12]
Okay, fine, her skin looks amazing, but I really want to come at Tay Tay with some cotton swabs, makeup remover, and a blending brush right about now, because all that rust eyeshadow is making her look rather corpse-y. On the plus side, her breasteses look fab! Harry Styles, boy, eat your clam-loving heart out.
Beyonce’s boobs are all over the cover of the new GQ — and she’s baring full on underboob — as she illustrates the Sexiest Women of the Century, another one of those stupid men’s magazine’s lists that’s basically an excuse to post photos of scantily clad women. And women of the century is a little weird, too, because do they mean the last century — as in the past hundred years? Or do they mean the last 12 years? And if they mean the last hundred, well, that’s a lot of dead hotties, which I would think would be a total bonerkiller, no?
God, I clearly think about this shit way too much. In any case, if you’d like to see another photo, featuring the full cheesecake cover, and Bey in the world’s smallest underwears, by all means, click through…
Tom Finlay, a 48-year-old stone mason, experienced a miracle with a pair of 66-pound boobs. That sounds wrong; I’ll explain. The Aussie was standing in a sculpture garden next his five-foot, hand-carved statue of the Venus de Milo when an “almighty kaboom” blew her apart. The only thing that remained were her breasts — mostly intact, except for a slightly damaged nipple.
“There was a clap of thunder and the sculpture blew up like a rocket-launcher had hit it … The lightning looked like a serpent. Everything disintegrated but the breasts,” Finlay reported.
He wasn’t sure if the incident was a “sign” from above, but he was amazed. When asked what he would do with the miracle boobs he said: “I might mount [them] and hang them in my office.” Good idea, dude. Boobs prevail again! [NT News]
You thought your breakup was bad: a German lawyer named Tim Schmidt has accused his ex-girlfriend of trying to smother him with her breasts during sex. She has been charged with “attempted murder with a weapon” … the weapon being her 38DD breasts. Keep reading »
You knew you should be examining them every month and plucking your nipple hair, but a new study found that squeezing your breasts regularly may prevent cancer. The study done at University of California at Berkeley concluded that compressing breast tissue may prevent malignant cells triggering cancer. “Here we show that physical force can play a role in the growth — and reversion — of cancer cells … Malignant cells have not completely forgotten how to be healthy; they just need the right cues to guide them back to a healthy growth pattern,” said Gautham Venugopalan, a leading member of the research team. Got that ladies? We need to squeeze our boobs to remind them to stay healthy. No problem, we’ve got that covered. And we’re sure the men in our lives will be happy to help.
This study made me curious about what other ways I might be unintentionally neglecting the well-being of my boobs. Click through to see what I discovered. [MSN]
“These babies are great [points to her breasts]. They are my prizewinners. For a while they were out and about, showing off on Broadway every night, then they came to L.A. and were like, ‘No one else looks like me here!’ They were nervous to make their appearance but feel they’ve earned their place. So they asked if they could come out, and I was like, ‘All right, you guys.’ They definitely rose to the occasion, so I’m going to continue to give them more opportunities.”
Normally I think Lea Michele can be sort of insufferable (mostly because she was once rude to my friend at an audition, like, five years ago) but I have decided that I like anyone who refers to her breasts as “prizewinners” and gabs about them at length. Also, “boobs” is the last word that come to mind when I think about the goody-two-shoes “Glee” star, so I’m kinda excited to see what these prizewinners can do. [Marie Claire] [Photo: Marie Claire]