Boobs are great for a lot of things. But as anyone who has at least average-sized breasts has probably noticed, sports are not one of those things. Breasts pose a problem for athletes for several reasons. First, they are extra weight to slow down competitors. Boobs can get in the way of a golf, tennis, or volleyball swing. They also bounce and accelerate at a different speed from the rest of the body. This bouncing is not only painful, but can also be embarrassing, especially for girls going through puberty. That’s probably one reason why there is such a decline in female athletic participation from the beginning of middle school to the end of high school.
Take ESPN’s tale: Katherine Switzer became the first woman to compete in the Boston Marathon in 1967 when the sports bra had yet to be invented. She was warned that the repetitive motion could cause her breasts to atrophy and her uterus to fall out of her vagina. Yikes! Obviously, this was a pile of crap. Neither of these things happened, but she was certainly uncomfortable running in just a standard fashion bra under a T-shirt. Nearly 50 years later, we have yet to perfect the sports bra so that women with larger cup sizes can compete in the sports that they love without complication.
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It was just a matter of time before the sound-activated technology people used to turn lights on and off in the ’80s would be applied to our undergarments. The possibilities are endless with artist Randy Sarafan’s Clap-Off Bra. Seriously, you just clap your hands and the tit sling falls right off. Just think: Inexperienced teenage boys will never have to suffer the embarrassment of fumbling with a hard-to-open clasp again. And women who are too lazy to take their bras off before bed will never wake up with another underwire injury. Strip teases will be done in record time. The whole world will be different! You can even learn how to make your own if you’re savvy like that. Because bras are complicated sometimes…even for those of us who wear them regularly. Now let’s sing: Clap on! Clap off! Clap on, clap off your bra! [Betabeat]
Last week, Madelyn Sheaffer went to Adventure Oasis Water Park in Independence, Missouri with her teenage daughter. Sheaffer, who recently lost 100 pounds, was proud to be wearing a bikini for the outing. The park officials, however, did not feel the same way.
While she was cooling off in the pool, two teenage employees approached her and asked her to put on some shorts or she would be asked to leave the park. She refused and continued to enjoy the day with her family. Sheaffer was then approached by a supervisor at the park who told her she had to put on both shorts and a shirt or leave because he found her attire too offensive for a family-friendly park. Sheaffer looked around the park only to see that there were plenty of other women wearing similar bikinis, yet she was the only one that was asked to cover up. Therefore, she again refused to leave. The supervisor called the police to escort Sheaffer out of the park. According to a post on Sheaffer’s Facebook page, even the police officers found the situation to be questionable. She wrote:
“We can’t actually say anything,” they said as we walked outside (as it is a city owned park) “… but I hope from the expressions on our face you can tell how we feel.” They were compassionate. They too, thought it was ridiculous.
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You know the fashion industry is in a bad place when a model doesn’t mind being cut from a runway show for the size of her boobs because she’s usually dropped from shows for her race. Yesterday, Jourdan Dunn tweeted that she had been cut from the Christian Dior Couture show in Paris that took place today. She was obviously annoyed, but laughed it off, understanding that the expectations of the modeling industry are ridiculous. Her next tweet, however, explained why she was so easygoing about the unfairness with which she was treated. She said,
“I’m normally told I’m cancelled because I’m ‘coloured’ so being cancelled because off my boobs is minor.” Keep reading »
There goes my excuse for the Freshmen 15. Only three to four percent of women actually gain weight on the birth control pill, according to Dr. Anne Burke, associate professor of gynecology at Johns Hopkins. The pounds you think you pack on from the pill could actually be from those cafeteria fries, or the six shots of whipped cream vodka, or … puberty. As the blog Her Campus reports, “Many girls begin taking the Pill at a time in their lives when weight gain happens naturally — during adolescence and while in college. So, if you gain weight while on the Pill, it’s important to look at different factors that could be causing you to gain weight.” Another birth control myth? Bigger tits! According to Dr. Burke this side effect is also “very rare.” Instead, nausea, headaches, mood changes, bleeding in between periods, and breast tenderness are the wonderful side effects that you’re more likely to experience on the pill. Lucky us. [Her Campus] [Photo of big breasts via Shutterstock]
New thing to be afraid of: exploding breast implants! The trauma is not unheard of, but the particular way in which one Beijing woman’s implants combusted just might be. After lying on her stomach for four hours playing a game called Dragon Summon on her phone, the woman experienced severe pain in her chest and went to the hospital. There she found out an implant had ruptured. This is very dangerous because the fluid can drain out into her body.
The implants were obviously of pretty questionable quality if they could not withstand the mere pressure of the woman’s body weight to which they were attached. Unfortunately, this is not the first time and it won’t be the last time that a person is injured from a leaking or ruptured implant. Here’s what we know:
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Too afraid to watch Farrah Abraham’s much-maligned sex tape? Well, you can always check out these slightly more safe for work (but still, you know, unsafe for life) photos of the former Teen Mom star posing topless at a beach in Malibu.
The photo shoot was apparently done to celebrate her most recent boob job, which upgraded Abraham from a C to D. Congrats? Read more on Celebuzz…
Cleavage, tribal feathers, hipster glasses — oh my! All of those things have gotten students in trouble at schools around the nation. Schools sure have gotten strict, some might say silly, with their rules about what students can and can’t do. Showing cleavage at prom? You know, prom, where everyone wears dresses? NOT OKAY. Wearing a Native American feather to honor your heritage during graduation? VERBOTEN! Glad to hear our nation’s educators are keeping the kiddies safe from boobies and diversity.
Here’s just a few examples of ridiculous bans on high school kids — most of them young women — around the country. After the jump, find out the stories behind these sordid tales.
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