Tag Archives: boobs

Men Love Explosions And Boobs

I think we can all agree that men like explosions. I think we also can all agree that men like boobs. So, some genius did the math and fused these two things together into this website ExplosionsAndBoobs.com. When you go to the site, a white screen appears along with a picture of an explosion and a pair of (classily covered) boobs. When you reload the page, you get another set. It’s so simple, so stupid, and men love it. This website proves yet again that trying to make sense of men is such a waste of time. Keep reading »

Bust Up Gum Boosts The Size Of Your Boobies

A-cups, rejoice! Pop a piece of Bust Up Gum, which claims to increase bust size, and get the boobs of your dreams! And pigs can fly and Lindsay Lohan is going to get her act together. Sorry, this product sounds like the sort of thing only encountered on the Hogwarts Express. In the minor defense of the makers of Bust Up Gum, the creators at least went through the pretense of making a brilliant scientific discovery. They included fancy schmancy ingredients and all: Maltitol, Lactitol, Hydrogenated Glucose Syrup, and Pueraria. So, I guess this won’t work for you if you are into organic or that natural food business, but whatevs, you can’t have everything. Oh, but a a few notes of caution. The label recommends popping at least six tablets per day and also advises that you should not consume during pregnancy, breastfeeding, menstruation, or if you have been diagnosed with medical conditions of the ovaries, uterus, or breast. Oh, also, consuming in large amounts may cause loose bowels. That might be a problem for some. Keep reading »

New Breastlight Device Detects Lumps At Home

Confession: each time I go to the gyno and she shows me how to do a breast self-exam, I stupidly smile and nod my head and she talks and prods my boob, knowing I have no clue what she’s really feeling. I then go home, fondle my own breasts and end up in frustration because (surprise!) they’re lumpy all over! It makes me feel like a bad woman who is not “in touch with her body” to admit that I don’t know what to think of those “normal” lumps. My doctor even once discovered what turned out to be a benign lump, and even then it didn’t feel distinctive. To help solve these problem, there’s now Breastlight, a wand that essentially lets you see what’s going on inside your chest. Take the device into a dark room, apply the lubricant to your breast, and hold Breastlight under your boob to light it up in red hue, highlighting veins and any other abnormalities. It’s not meant to replace mammograms, but at least it will help morons like myself know when something isn’t right. [Uk.breastlight.com] Keep reading »

Paint Your Own Boobies With “My Beautiful Breasts Body Sculpting Kit”

Throughout the ages women have gone to great pains to get showstopping and eye-dropping cleavage. The corset was rough, stuffed-toilet paper bras were prone to discovery and the push-up bra is just a bit too obvious. According to the peeps from My Beautiful Breasts, however, your cleavage woes are over. This kit ain’t just your average bra-filling and lifting, ladies. We are talking about painting on your boobies, or lack thereof.

We’ve scene this trick before: use makeup to create contours on our bust line the same way we use bronzer to fake sharper cheekbones or those weird airbrushing techniques that create faux six-pack abs. Except, this ain’t just a wish of bronzer we are talking about. Eye shadow and blush come off pretty easy, but the bust stain can stay on for up to five days! And, maybe I am just bitter because I can’t draw a stick figure, but painting-on your boobies sounds pretty complicated and complex. Chances are I would mess it up and have some pretty busted looking buhbies for a week.

I think I’ll just stick to toilet paper, thank you very much. [$69, My Beautiful Breasts Kit, ItCosmetics.com]

Keep reading »

Itty Bitty Titties Get Their Own Small Boob Support Group

Drinking. Depression. Widowhood. Small boobs. Yes, there are support groups for all kinds of things…

Usually when you talks about supporting your AAs, you mean the feats of architectural wonder accomplished by the Victoria’s Secret Miracle Bra. But on the message boards for Bust magazine, there is actually a Small Breast Support Group. Keep reading »

“Smart Memory Bra” Perfects The Lady Boner

Ladies, hold on to your boobs. There’s yet another product that promises to give us big breasts—even if we don’t want ‘em. The new Smart Memory Bra is made of heat-sensitive foam that inflates and deflates based on body temperature. What this means: When you (and your chest) get hot and bothered, the bra will inflate to push the girls up and out. Slovenia-based Lisca Lingerie, the company that’s making the boob popper, claims the Smart Bra “will always provide the perfect fit.” Really, though, it has only one advantage over a regular bra: Ot will give you huge boobs when someone’s about to jump your bones. But what if you happen to get steamed up from the heat in church or in front of your boyfriend’s parents? I mean, do you really want a lady boner? [UK Sun] Keep reading »

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