Birthdays in the Carey-Cannon house sure are a lot of fun. There’s cake, party hats, and sharing your breasts with all of Twitter! In celebration of Nick Cannon’s 33rd birthday today, wifey Mariah tweeted a picture of her black bra-clad breasts underneath an unbuttoned shirt, her face seductively turned off to one side. Sure beats a new set of golf clubs, huh, Nick?
These two are so cute it’s almost nauseating (almost — hey, at least someone in Hollywood is still in love!). But I really feel bad for their twins Monroe and Morroccan when they get older. You know Nick and Mariah are going to be the ones whose kids are constantly going, “Ew, MOM AND DAD, GROSS!” [TooFab]
Has anyone seen Kim Kardashian‘s boobs? I’ve been looking all over and I can’t find them ANYWHERE.
If you’re one of the lucky bastards who scored a new iPhone, you probably spent the better part of the weekend fussing around with the cool new features. If you’re a pervy dudebro, you might have experimented with using your dick on the fingerprint sensor. Or maybe you were thrilled to discover the new slo-motion video camera comes in quite handy when filming your girlfriend’s boobs all a-jiggle. According to The Daily Dot, the hot new trend on Reddit is dudes uploading slo-mo videos of tits bouncing. So clever, Reddit pervs! The first one, posted yesterday, scored more than 2,300 comments and 450,000 views on YouTube. A whole mess of similar videos uploaded to the site resulted in the trend getting its own subreddit, r/SloMoBoobs.
I don’t have the new iPhone yet, but I would like to suggest that my fellow pervy ladies who do have the new smartphone respond in kind, by filming slow-motion videos of their boyfriends wagging their dicks back and forth. It’s only fair. Also, funnier! Let’s make this happen, ladies! (Check out more videos at the link.) [The Daily Dot]
You’re nobody in Hollywood until you’ve had a nip slip at a major awards show. That means Tina Fey has finally made it. While accepting her Emmy last night, some hawk-eyed viewer whose job it is to watch the Emmy’s specifically for nipple, spotted Tina’s exposed teet for one millisecond and alerted the internet at large. Sadly, it was the most exciting thing that happened during the show. You can see her NSFW nipple and areola in all their Tina Fey glory after the jump. This changes absolutely nothing about how we feel about her. [Elvis Duran] Keep reading »
We’ve all got to pay rent somehow. Kristy Love from Atlanta, Georgia, uses her 48NN boobs — but not the way you think. Love is a “busty masseuse” who smothers and massages clients with her large breasts. Keep reading »
“I always hope that I’ll know when I no longer need to show my breasts for good. Like I’ll know when to pack it in and put a bra on. That is my prayer to the universe. But then, maybe it will be really important that I do it when I’m 60. Who knows? I don’t think I’d be able to do this and put myself in all these situations on camera that are kind of humiliating and uncomfortable. Nobody wants to sit there doggy-style for ten hours while they shoot or whatever. It’s not sexy or glamorous. I don’t think I’d be able to do that if I didn’t think it was essentially important in my contribution to the world.”
–Lena Dunham shares her prayer to the universe in the latest issue of Marie Claire UK. Like a good houseguest, she hopes she’ll know when it’s time for her boobs to go home. For the time being, she’ll continue contributing her breasts to the world on “Girls.” [3News]
A “super boob job” is defined as an increase in four or more cup sizes in one cosmetic procedure. To put that in context, it’s like going from a B cup to at least an F cup overnight. Which is insane when you think about how much extra breast weight you’d be carrying on your chest. According to the latest stats, super augmentations have doubled in the UK since 2010. They now constitute 10 percent of all breast augmentations.
Further complicating the matter, plastic surgeons say that women want natural-looking super boob jobs — practically an oxymoron. To have Christina Hendricks-sized boobs that look like Victoria Beckham’s breasts is nearly impossible. “Women want bigger, more pert breasts, but they don’t necessarily want people to know they’ve had something done,” said cosmetic surgeon, Miles Berry. Sigh. More impossible beauty standard to live up to. [Daily Mail UK]
I have big boobs. I’ve always had big boobs. As I’ve mentioned before, there are a lot of reasons big boobs are awesome. There are also a lot of reasons big boobs are kind of a pain. For example, every time I fall in love with a cute dress, only to realize that, due to super thin straps or strategically placed cutouts, there’s no way I can wear a bra with it. Sigh. Back on the rack it goes. From ill-fitting clothing to crowded subway cars, click through for eight natural enemies of big boobs and the blessed/cursed women who have them…
Lucy Eades was at the Burleson Recreation Center in Texas with her husband and 16-day-old infant waiting for their older daughter to finish her dance class when the baby became hungry. Eades breastfeeds and damn well knows that it is her legal right in Texas to breastfeed in a public place. An employee, however, did not feel as comfortable about Eades nursing her baby and decided to take the law into her own hands. Watch Eades tell this lady what’s up. DAMN STRAIGHT. [Jezebel; Huffington Post]