In case you were wondering, and I know you were, breasts can be used as a weapon. Washington woman, Donna Lange has been charged with second-degree manslaughter for smothering her 51-year-old boyfriend to death with her boobs. This weekend, at a Snohomish County trailer park, neighbors called the cops when they heard a man screaming for a “woman to get off of him.” When police arrived, they found a drunk Lange on top of the man, “her chest was smothering his face.” He was pronounced dead on the scene. No word on Lange’s motives.
This is not the first time a pair of boobs almost killed a guy. In December, a German man narrowly escaped a similar fate when his ex-girlfriend nearly motorboated him to death. She claimed that she meant the him no harm — that they were only playing a “sex game.”
Let this be a lesson to us all, boobs, when used without the appropriate precautions, can be dangerous. [Local 12]
Okay, fine, her skin looks amazing, but I really want to come at Tay Tay with some cotton swabs, makeup remover, and a blending brush right about now, because all that rust eyeshadow is making her look rather corpse-y. On the plus side, her breasteses look fab! Harry Styles, boy, eat your clam-loving heart out.
Beyonce’s boobs are all over the cover of the new GQ — and she’s baring full on underboob — as she illustrates the Sexiest Women of the Century, another one of those stupid men’s magazine’s lists that’s basically an excuse to post photos of scantily clad women. And women of the century is a little weird, too, because do they mean the last century — as in the past hundred years? Or do they mean the last 12 years? And if they mean the last hundred, well, that’s a lot of dead hotties, which I would think would be a total bonerkiller, no?
God, I clearly think about this shit way too much. In any case, if you’d like to see another photo, featuring the full cheesecake cover, and Bey in the world’s smallest underwears, by all means, click through…
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Tom Finlay, a 48-year-old stone mason, experienced a miracle with a pair of 66-pound boobs. That sounds wrong; I’ll explain. The Aussie was standing in a sculpture garden next his five-foot, hand-carved statue of the Venus de Milo when an “almighty kaboom” blew her apart. The only thing that remained were her breasts — mostly intact, except for a slightly damaged nipple.
“There was a clap of thunder and the sculpture blew up like a rocket-launcher had hit it … The lightning looked like a serpent. Everything disintegrated but the breasts,” Finlay reported.
He wasn’t sure if the incident was a “sign” from above, but he was amazed. When asked what he would do with the miracle boobs he said: “I might mount [them] and hang them in my office.” Good idea, dude. Boobs prevail again! [NT News]
You thought your breakup was bad: a German lawyer named Tim Schmidt has accused his ex-girlfriend of trying to smother him with her breasts during sex. She has been charged with “attempted murder with a weapon” … the weapon being her 38DD breasts. Keep reading »
You knew you should be examining them every month and plucking your nipple hair, but a new study found that squeezing your breasts regularly may prevent cancer. The study done at University of California at Berkeley concluded that compressing breast tissue may prevent malignant cells triggering cancer. “Here we show that physical force can play a role in the growth — and reversion — of cancer cells … Malignant cells have not completely forgotten how to be healthy; they just need the right cues to guide them back to a healthy growth pattern,” said Gautham Venugopalan, a leading member of the research team. Got that ladies? We need to squeeze our boobs to remind them to stay healthy. No problem, we’ve got that covered. And we’re sure the men in our lives will be happy to help.
This study made me curious about what other ways I might be unintentionally neglecting the well-being of my boobs. Click through to see what I discovered. [MSN]