As we might have mentioned, the 2013 Grammys were a special affair. Not just because of the return of Justin Timberlake and a special appearance by Prince and his pimp cane, but because prior to the broadcast, CBS sent out a memo outlining a very special dress code. The dress code attempted to quell the tide of nipples, underboobage and exposed buttocks, but did anybody actually pay attention? Not really. Keep reading »
It’s hard out there for a nipple. Or at least, it must be — that’s what we’ve got to assume based on the fact that so many lingerie models seem to be missing theirs these days. As we attempted to shop for sexy V-Day lingerie, we were struck by all of these hapless models, who’ve gone through life (or, ha! at least a lingerie catalog photoshoot) sans nips. So we decided to do some serious investigating to find out where all these nipples have run off to…
Check out more sexy Valentine’s Day-worthy lingerie on our Pinterest board!
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“I just went to the doctor today, I got a chest X-ray of my lungs and discovered that my breasts are uneven … I was like standing there with these doctors and they’re like looking at my lungs and I just couldn’t—it felt like an elephant in the room—and I was like, ‘Are my breasts uneven?’ And they were just kind of, like, stifled and uncomfortable, obviously. So I kept thinking, ‘Well, I’m gonna dig myself out of this hole by bringing it up again’ … So he was like, ‘All right, our radiologist will get back to you about your lungs.’ And I was like, ‘And my breasts.’”
– Jennifer Lawrence laments her uneven boobs on “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” My unprofessional opinion is that her boobs are going to be just fine. Nothing an Oscar can’t fix. [ONTD]
It looks Justin Bieber is adapting to single life quite nicely. This week, he got to second base with a fan at a Florida meet-and-greet. Or maybe he was just squeezing her boob to help prevent breast cancer. How gentlemanly of him! Either way, the girl appears to be enjoying it very much. I hope Selena Gomez was out grabbing a penis somewhere. [ONTD]
Click through for more celebs getting felt up.
In case you were wondering, and I know you were, breasts can be used as a weapon. Washington woman, Donna Lange has been charged with second-degree manslaughter for smothering her 51-year-old boyfriend to death with her boobs. This weekend, at a Snohomish County trailer park, neighbors called the cops when they heard a man screaming for a “woman to get off of him.” When police arrived, they found a drunk Lange on top of the man, “her chest was smothering his face.” He was pronounced dead on the scene. No word on Lange’s motives.
This is not the first time a pair of boobs almost killed a guy. In December, a German man narrowly escaped a similar fate when his ex-girlfriend nearly motorboated him to death. She claimed that she meant the him no harm — that they were only playing a “sex game.”
Let this be a lesson to us all, boobs, when used without the appropriate precautions, can be dangerous. [Local 12]