Good morning! This is what Jessica Simpson’s baby daughter Maxwell Drew wakes up to every morning. Jessica wanted to spread the wealth so she tweeted this photo of her post-baby cleave while on a walk this weekend. Good lord. Maxwell won’t be going hungry, now will she? Jessica never lacked in the chesticle department, but the twins are certainly overachievers. While we’re on the subject, let’s ogle some more celebs’ post-baby boobs…
As you are well-aware, men’s love affair with the female breast goes back centuries, perhaps to the beginning of time (before chomping on the apple, Adam may not have known the significance of Eve’s frontal accoutrements, but he knew what he liked). Guys go out of their way to get a glimpse of them at every opportunity, and spend obscene amounts of hard-earned cash just to watch nubile hotties bare their bounteous assets in seedy, sweaty, prurient palaces, ironically referred to as, “gentlemen’s clubs.” Such is our complete infatuation with your blessed bosom.
But why this udder devotion? And what specifically draws us to your mellifluous mammaries? Read on as I try to offer a little insight into mans’ magnificent obsession.
1) We like how your breasts look: Contrary to what you may think, regardless of size, we find your boobs fascinating. Whether they’re large and luxurious or small and sporty, we’re hot for your hooters. And while individual men may have a preference for a particular size or shape, overwhelmingly we’re enticed by your charms, be they pendulous or pert, pouty or protuberant. Read more …
Every week, I get an email from Groupon Goods offering me a selection of deeply discounted products like earbuds and yoga mats and wine stoppers. I really need to unsubscribe from this email, because it’s turning me into one of those tragic women who goes into massive debt buying crap from the Home Shopping Network and is eventually buried in an avalanche of collectible teddy bears, but whatever. A few weeks ago my Groupon Goods email included a 3-pack of “Freedom Bras,” and I was instantly intrigued… Keep reading »
Yes, there is more important news about President Barack Obama expressing his public support for marriage equality. But these are bras with ice in them. They are from Japan, and they were created in response to the shutdown of the country’s nuclear reactors following the Fukushima catastrophe. This means that Japanese citizens are encouraged to avoid using air conditioners. Finally — women will have a way to keep their breasts cool and nipples erect for days on end. Gentlemen, consider this a consolation prize while you sweat your balls off, because there is no such contraption for you … yet. Read more …
Whoa. Hi there, TIME magazine. You went there, didn’t you?
I’m as pro-breastfeeding-in-public as one can be, but this cover photo the intentional provocation of this cover annoys me. The 26-year-old mother Jamie Lynne Grumet is model-hot and that’s no accident; nor is it an accident that her child she is breastfeeding is three-years-old, an age which some may argue is “too old” to be nursing at their mama’s breast. I make no judgments about this mother’s attachment parenting or breastfeeding. But I wonder, will the visceral reaction to this provocative cover — which I would place bets on being covered up at newsstands, a la Cosmopolitan titties — do more harm to the parenting tactics she believes in than it will do good?
Keep reading »
“I actually had a nightmare the other night that people were trying to deflate my boobs while I was working. They had tubes and I was trying to work, but they kept getting smaller. I was like: ‘Guys, don’t take them away!’ I’m getting issues about it, I think.”
– I would love to be a fly on the wall when Jennifer Love Hewitt discusses this nightmare in therapy. [The Sun UK]
The moment that most of the world has been waiting for: Sofia Vergara’s naked flesh in print. The sexy star slipped into a see-through angel getup for the May cover of GQ Mexico. We think her sheer moment was well worth the wait. Click here to see the NSFW version! This got us thinking about other celebs who’ve bared it all for the sake of a photo spread. Just for fun, we decided to give you a little peep show. Go ahead, look. You know you want to. [Celebslam]
Oh, was Rihanna on a Hawaiian vacation? I thought she was at Coachella Tweeting pics of herself looking amazing in a denim bikini. Anyhow, she was in Hawaii and she posted the Facebook pictures to prove it. We get it, she looks freaking bangin’ in a bikini. Only problem: She accidentally posted one which exposed her nipple. Hey, it happens to the best of us sometimes. Click on to see the NSFW shot of Ri Ri and more celebs whose nipples have accidentally escaped their clothing. [Gossip Cop]
I’ve written before about the pros and cons of big boobs, so I’m really excited to see Busty Girl Comics illustrate the plight of busty girls so perfectly. Large breasts may be sexy, but trust me, they also make simple activities — like walking down stairs, washing dishes, or even crossing your arms — a lot more complicated. Click through for a few examples that made me laugh out loud, and check out the Busty Girl website for more… [via Buzzfeed]