In a shockingly bad career move (in our humble opinion, at least), Megan Fox has announced she’s turned down an offer to star opposite Daniel Craig in the next Bond film. Really!? The chance to join the prestigious list of female A-listers with the looks and brains to challenge and roll with Bond? (We’ll have to exclude Denise Richards from that list though.) Apparently, she’s just not impressed by the notion and feels the role wouldn’t really add anything to her career. Huh.

The night before Valentine’s Day this year, I received a frantic text message from my friend Sara, who I knew was on a mission to pick up something frilly to wear for her new boyfriend. “OMG, I’m in the store and I don’t even know what the eff a garter belt is. Help…” I flipped open my cell phone and left her a message that was one for the books: “Sara,” I said sternly, “if you don’t know what a garter belt is, he sure as hell won’t know how to take one off. Look for a babydoll top and cute underwear. Step AWAY from the garter belts.”