Some twisted soul up in Maine has gone and done it now: She’s created the L.L. Bean Boyfriend blog, full of men in cozy sweaters and hiking boots professing their love for you. As the Tumblr notes, “He will build you a table and then have sex with you on it.” Sorry, but these guys are giving me major creep vibes — they’re a little too Bon Iver Erotic Stories for my taste. But hey, if you want a guy who will take you for foraging walks in the woods and build you theremins and whatnot, then go for it. I’ll just be washing the douche vibes off me in the corner. [Your LL Bean Boyfriend]
Sorry guys, but Bon Iver just gives me the douchechills, especially after I read a bunch of Bon Iver Erotica. That’s why these shoes that Justin Vernon, aka Bon Iver, designed are really making me feel uncomfortable. Yes, they’re for a good cause — sales of the shoes benefit the Best Friends Animal Society — but Bon Iver makes me want to die inside a little bit. The shoes are currently on pre-order, and will ship in October, just in time for Bon Iver to release another album about fireflies, hidden love notes and ugh, artisanal goat cheese. Of course, they’re sold in sizes for both men and women, because Bon Iver is for gender parity and believes all beings are created equal. [$75, The Keep]
What happens when you allow your imagination to fantasize about soulfully smug indie singer songwriter Bon Iver? The perfectly twee — heirloom tomatoes and spiderwebs! — erotic snippets compiled on the just launched “Bon Iver Erotic Stories” blog. This blog is hilarious because, as Julie explains, sex with Bon Iver would probably be the worst. “The room would smell like cedar and it would be SO COLD,” Julie just shuddered. “I bet he would, like, smell faintly of sardines and there’d be a corner of his bedroom reserved for his ARTISINAL KOMBUCHA OPERATION.” Anyway, see more Bon Iverotica after the jump…
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Look, I am not one of those people who is nostalgic for the good ol’ days of “Saturday Night Live,” when the Coneheads and Pat were making everyone laugh. No, I like “SNL” now. But that doesn’t mean it always cracks me up. Usually I watch the show on Sunday mornings, with my coffee and New York Post, and I smile and maybe a giggle or two pops out. But when Maya Rudolph hosted the show this weekend — featuring special guests Amy Poehler and Justin Timberlake — I cracked the hell up.
Above, Blue Ivy Carter meets Prince, Taylor Swift, Brangelina, and Bon Iver, portrayed perfectly by Timberlake. And after the jump, more sketches I loved. Keep reading »
Last night, Bon Iver took home the Grammy for Best New Artist, and almost immediately the Internet began asking, “Who the fuck is Bon Iver?” Thoroughly charmed by his self-aggrandizing, slightly annoyed acceptance speech (hipsters don’t let hipsters win awards)? Yeah, we thought so. Below, we tell you everything you need to know about Bon Iver to seem like you care. Which you totally don’t, right?
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What was more important last night, America? Watching the Christmas Tree lighting or hearing your favorite artists’ announced as nominees for the 54th Grammy’s? Apparently, I thought neither, and opted for cocktails instead. Whoops.
Anyway … some of our favorites were on there once, some more than twice and some almost took over the whole freakin’ show (cough, Adele, cough). But seriously, I hope you win. A lot. Every award. Seriously.
But while we’re super pleased to see that our favorite party rockin’ anthems, heartbreak hymns and bumpin’ and grindin’ smooth jams made the cut, there were a lot of names and songs on the list this year that I didn’t recognize. So I went ahead and assumed that maybe our readers might not know them either. Read more…
If Bon Iver’s ethereal, wistful debut album, For Emma, Forever Ago, didn’t totally seduce you, well, something is wrong. That means that you will definitely need to give the band’s eponymous sophomore effort a listen. Bon Iver is the brainchild of Justin Vernon, who secluded his band in a cabin in the woods for three months in the winter to record their first effort. This time, Vernon and his brother bought a defunct vet’s office and turned it into the studio of their dreams. Do not expect barks and purrs, though. The standard here are haunting tracks, with some exciting surprises.