Rest assured, everyone: oral sex is not bad for you. TV evangelist Pat Robertson decrees it to be so! He was speaking strictly to a married man and woman, so the jury is still out on the morality of us strumpets single girls going down. Nevertheless, we are somewhat comforted by his logic that “It’s what’s in your mind … if to you it’s sin, it’s sin.” (Now if he could just apply that same logic to the gays.) We are eagerly waiting for Pat Robertson’s thoughts on anal. [YouTube]
When I heard yesterday that New Jersey’s Governor Chris Christie made a blowjob joke while campaigning for Mitt Romney, I thought it just sounded, at worst, crude. (And embarrassing for Romney’s squeaky-clean Mormon image, although that’s another story.) Christie was rallying for Romney at a campaign stop in Exeter, New Hampshire, when some women started chanting about jobs going down. After a few distracting chants, Christie says, “You know, something may go down tonight but it ain’t going to be jobs, sweetheart.” Keep reading »
The world is made up of two types of people: spitters and swallowers. But the spitters and swallowers have at least one thing in common — they’re all tasters and sometimes, when you’re gettin’ down to business, well, things don’t taste so great. That’s where Masque comes in. Masque is “a revolutionary intimacy enhancement product that has been scientifically formulated to conceal the sometimes unpleasant flavors associated with oral sex on your man, and his subsequent climax.” In, heh, layman’s terms, it’s a paper-thin, gel strip — available in chocolate, strawberry, and watermelon! — that absorbs onto your tongue prior to giving head which then conceals the taste of your man’s spunk for 15 minutes. An after-dinner, pre-blow job amuse-bouche, you might call it. And that, we must admit, is something we’re going to have to try.
My new favorite pop star? Italy‘s Gionny Scandal. What an artiste! His new song, “I’m Horny,” features a bevy of barely legal blondes sucking lollipops and being sprayed in the face with whipped cream while they sing a chorus about giving him a blowjob. Everyone’s mamma must be so proud! [Europopped] Keep reading »
Here’s a gift I could really use: a Diesel store in India gave away blowjob kneepads with purchases over $150! The packages, which subtly display a woman’s open mouth, read “buy one, get one pearl necklace free.” That’s … just … ew. At least Diesel can’t be accused of not thinking of your comfort, ladies. (And certain gentlemen!) [Copyranter] Keep reading »
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a man likes being woken up to a BJ. It’s like friggin’ Christmas morning, any day of the year. But us ladies? Not so much. Feel free to correct me if you feel otherwise, but there’s something creepy and invasive about the idea of waking up with someone’s mouth or sex organ around our lady bits. In fact, if the Wikileaks/Julian Assange nonsense has taught us anything (and please, I hope it has taught us something), it is that initiating sex with a woman while she is asleep is sexual assault. Obviously, if she is asleep, she cannot consent. But beyond the legal definition of sexual assault, a half-awakened lady may not be so willing to receive a special morning “surprise” of something she otherwise normally likes. Speaking strictly for myself, I need to be “warmed up” before a guy goes spelunking down there. Keep reading »
“Family Guy”‘s Seth MacFarlane stopped by the “The Tonight Show” recently to crack a few jokes with Jay Leno and naturally the two turned to comedy gold, Delaware Republican Senate Candidate Christine O’Donnell. Sadly, this was before her “I am not a witch” video, so the two had to find other things to say about her … like her orally servicing Seth MacFarlane. Keep reading »
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