Tag Archives: blow jobs

Doin’ It With Dr. V: Deep Throat Tips From A Sword Swallower

Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily lead me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…

Professional sword swallowing is an ancient art form that allows a performer to gulp down a 15-inch sword like it’s a steak dinner. All I’m asking is to be able to deep throat a penis! So, I sat down with a professional side show performer currently starring at Ripley’s Believe It Or Not in New York City, Albert Cadabra, to learn the magic tricks of the trade, in the hope that they will improve our already stellar BJ skills. WARNING: Do not try sword swallowing at home, unless “sword” is a euphemism for penis. The people that practice this craft are highly trained professionals. These tips are just for dicks!
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Ad For Skin Whitening Pill Is Simultaneously Racist, Sexist, & Disgusting!

This print ad for Imedeen’s skin whitening pill is so awesomely offensive because A) the very nature of skin whitening products is racist, B) making a blow job joke to sell a product is sexist, and C) suggesting she swallows (especially as I am eating a yogurt) is disgusting! It’s a triple threat! Way to go, Imedeen! [Feministing] Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Mouth Love Is Meh

Blow jobs are overrated. There. I said it. I know men who would fight a grizzly bear with a spork for a little mouth love. I also know women who guard their oral sexing technique the way a pharmaceutical company protects its most precious patents. But I’m just not a dude who loves blow jobs. I’m an active guy, when it comes to being intimate with a woman, and laying back and letting her go down on me has always felt passive to me. Disconnected. As if I could lean back and read the Economist or slurp a bowl of soup while being, uhhh, serviced. Keep reading »

My 2009 New Year’s Resolutions

This week, The Frisky will be revealing their oh-so-ambitious resolutions for 2009. We encourage you to submit yours in the comments — maybe you’ll inspire others to adapt the same resolutions and at the very least you’ll get some support. Especially for your resolution to eat more donuts this year. That’s something we can all get behind. Amelia will start…

1. Commit to going to yoga three times a week: And at the very least, getting into headstand. Forearm stand, I will tackle you in 2010. Handstand, see you in 2011.
2. Introduce myself to new music: And go to see more bands play live. I used to love doing this, but have stopped going on a regular basis. And I need some Ladyhawke and Little Joy to balance out all the Beyonce and Britney.
3. Curb bad behaviors: My bad behaviors are drinking too much wine and then eating copious amounts of mac ‘n’ cheese while sending regrettable Facebook messages. Must stop this in 2009. Keep reading »

Woman Gives Microphone A Blow Job And Calls It Art!

It’s comforting to know that even if I were fired from my job during these tough economic times and couldn’t find a way to make a living, I could still wake up every morning and call myself an artist. This woman does! She performed fellatio on a microphone during a performance art exhibit! It’s rather symphonic — I wonder if she considers herself a musician too? [Via Buzzfeed] Keep reading »

Real Chick Lit: The Handjob Handbook

E., my best guy friend in college, believed that women should eliminate giving handjobs from their hook-up repertoire. “They always end up either hurting or not being satisfying at all,” he asserted. “The bottom line: there’s no way you can do it as well as he can.” It did make perfect sense. Why should I — or any woman, for that matter — attempt to please my guy with something of which he’s perfected the art? That would be like making Italian food for Mario Batali, or giving Spencer Pratt of “The Hills” lessons on how to be a douchebag. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: The Guy Who Didn’t Want Head

Some women would be thrilled to have a guy who didn’t want head, ever, but not me. I knew one guy was not going to be a match when he gently pushed my mouth away when I moved to go down on him, saying, “That’s okay; I don’t usually come that way anyway.” To me, that was all the more reason to try! But he wasn’t offering up the statement as the start of a conversation; that was it. I didn’t bother expressing my disappointment, just vowed not to go home with him again. Keep reading »

HPV: Not Just For Crotches Anymore

According to a new study, HPV is moving on up…to mouths! That’s right, just when you thought Gardasil and Cervarix solved all your problems, now you have to worry about what else you’ve been opening wide. Since the ’70s. throat cancer cases have doubled, and the research shows HPV is to blame, with 39% of all occurrences caused by the human papilloma virus. Before you go cutting your man off from his favorite foreplay, listen to this: men are 35% more likely than women to develop oral cancer from HPV. Sheesh, making a new man go downtown may be riskier than you both think! Still, there’s more bad news — as of yet, there is no way to test male genitalia for HPV or anyone’s throat to see if they’re a carrier. So, it’s a roll of the dice and doctors fear you may even be able to contract the virus from kissing. There goes all the fun! Since this throat cancer link is a new revelation, the cervical cancer vaccines haven’t been tested or proven to prevent it. So, deep throat, you might want to use a condom for oral sex or just give that random stranger a handy and call it a night! [ABC News] Keep reading »

The Nookie Know-It-All: Grossed Out By Oral

“I hate giving blow jobs, but my boyfriend loves them. How can we compromise?” — Not Into Head, via email

Sssssshhh!!! Are there any boys around you right now?? Did anybody hear you?? I hope for your sake there aren’t, because if that sentiment got around, you might as well have a scarlet letter on your shirt.

Lemme clue you in to something: EVERY MAN LOVES BLOW JOBS. Your boyfriend is not lying. So you know what that means? You+blowjobs=new best friends.

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The Nookie Know-It-All: Going Down

“Is there a secret to being awesome at oral sex? I’m not sure if I’m doing it well, and I’m not about to discuss my technique with my friends.” — Needing Lessons, Santa Fe, NM

The real secret to oral sex that nobody ever talks about is that you have to be into it! You know how passionate you get about buying shoes or watching the latest episode of America’s Next Top Model? Put that same gleeful cheer into fellatio, and you’ll have your guy going through the roof.

With that said, there’s a few “tricks of the trade” (I totally sound like a hooker) that will spice up the average beej. My favorites, after the jump… Keep reading »

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