“I fall in love with human beings based on who they are, not based on what they do or what sex they are.”
I knew Shailene Woodley and I were meant to be lovers! From her taste in books (Anais Nin!), to her religious beliefs (“My religion is the Earth … I believe in trees”), to her no-makeup looks on the red carpet, to her refusal to wear anything other than used clothes, she really is the woman of my dreams. Shailene herself didn’t use the label bisexual. But she made clear to The Hollywood Reporter that she falls in love with human beings, not body parts. Keep reading »
“I’m really attracted to you, you know?” I sat in the middle of an Italian restaurant, frozen in disbelief at this audacious declaration. I sipped some wine and awkwardly laughed, my cheeks growing redder by the minute. Waiters and waitresses drifted past. I nibbled a tiramisu and drank another glass of rosé. But all I could think was, I’m really attracted to you, too.
On the surface, this sounds like a typical first date: a guy takes you out to dinner and says he finds you attractive; you flirt back and wonder if he’s going to kiss you goodnight; you’re nervous and jittery; you try to be funny while carefully maintaining that mysterious façade that originally peaked his interest.
Except that this wasn’t a typical date, at least for me.: I was actually out to dinner with a woman. And all I thought about the entire time was how badly I wanted to kiss her. Keep reading »
According to a new bummer of a study, 15 percent of people don’t believe bisexuality is a “real” orientation. In other words, they think people who identify as bisexual are lying.
The study, presented earlier this month at a meeting of the American Public Health Association, also found that the overall opinion of bisexuality is negative among both gay and straight people. Men who identified as straight were three times more likely to consider bisexuality “not a legitimate sexual orientation,” perhaps assuming that bisexuals are actually gay or just faking it. Male bisexuals were also found to be more stigmatized than female bisexuals, and women and people who identified as members of the LGBT community were less likely to have negative opinions of bisexuality. Keep reading »
“Well, get this. This girl from Jersey City has a knife in her boot. I pulled it out and said, ‘I’ll cut your dick off.’ You know what he did? He laughed at me.”
“Lost”‘s Michelle Rodriguez opened up to Entertainment Weekly about when she was 22 and a producer “pinned her against the wall and grabbed her between the legs.” Sadly, this kind of sexual abuse — particularly in the form of ‘casting couch’ perviness — is all too common for women in Hollywood. But after pulling a knife on him, that producer never bothered Rodriguez again.
Rodriguez also revealed for the first time publicly that she’s bisexual: Keep reading »
There are always going to be naysayers out there who believe that bisexuality is a “phase” or a “sexual flight of fancy,” but President Obama is not one of them. The Washington Blade reports that the Obama administration is set to hold a private conference next month exclusively dedicated to issues facing the bisexual community. The White House LGBT liaison Gautam Raghavan called the event “a roundtable discussion on issues of importance to the bisexual community” where “participants and administration officials will discuss a range of topics including health, HIV/AIDS, domestic and intimate partner violence, mental health, and bullying.” Keep reading »
In private, my husband, Paul*, has started referring to his sexual orientation as “Results-Oriented.” As in, he doesn’t care what gender his sexual partners are if they can get the job done, so to speak. He’s being glib when he says that — no, he wouldn’t go to bed with just anyone — but there’s also some truth behind it. For a person who isn’t ready to socially, culturally, or politically identify as bisexual, Results-Oriented is his way of saying that he’s not quite as straight as most straight-identified men.
Paul started calling himself Results-Oriented around the time we had our first foursome with a straight-presenting, queer-identified couple. For the most part, we engaged in heterosexual and lesbian activities, but at one point, I let it slip that watching two men together has always been one of my top turn-ons. Our male partner looked up with excitement and climbed on top of Paul. Once he obtained consent, he gave Paul a long and thorough blowjob that finished in climax. I couldn’t decide whether to observe our partner’s clearly experienced technique or Paul’s facial expressions of utterly baffled pleasure. When it was over, all my husband could say was, “Wow … that wasn’t as different as I imagined it would be.” Keep reading »
I’m bisexual, so people like to ask me how dating ladies is different from dating guys. (I also get a lot of “Wanna have a threesome?” and “How do girls have sex?” The first question is a lot easier to answer.) Sometimes people ask the question with a little competitive edge in their voice — they want to know if gay girls have better relationships than straight girls, if guys are more satisfying than lesbians. But, despite the occasional delicious dream in which a dyke and an androgynous boy are fighting to give me the first orgasm, it’s not really a competition. Basically, people are people, and the people I date are more similar than different—my two serious partners have both been blazer-wearing writers who demand I “fix the back” after self-inflicted haircuts. The real differences between life in an opposite-sex dating situation and life in a lesbian one come from people’s expectations and responses. Here are a few of the major ones. Keep reading »
College! It’s all about exposure to new ideas, learning skills for your future career, and, oh yeah, ceaseless romantic floundering. After high school, higher education is likely the last time you will be around so many people of your own age all the time. Who could blame you for sleeping with
some a few many of them?
But just like those student loans that you’ll be paying off until retirement (haha, in this economy, do you think retirement will still be around when we’re old?), there’s going to be some sex you regret. Sex you wish you hadn’t had. Sex you wish you had had. Sex that you don’t want to tell anyone about except the anonymous comments section of The Frisky.
After the jump, here are our worst sex regrets from college. It’s only fair that you share your own! Keep reading »
Sometimes, I have a hard time talking about being bisexual.
Part of the difficulty is label itself: bisexual. As soon as it’s said out loud, or implied with the abbreviation bi, lady sex pops into peoples’ minds and all of a sudden things get X-rated. The mere mention of bi conjures images of co-eds kissing and dancing on bars for male attention. Or, it incites the delightful fallacy that bi-folk are lying to themselves about their sexuality.
So, if labeling myself bi creates a feeling of ick, then why not call myself something else?
I’ve thought about latching onto other labels: flexible, fluid, queer, open? Why not just call myself straight when I’m with a man and gay when I’m getting my lez on? Why a label at all? Keep reading »
Jared’s* question came during a sex party a few months ago, after some steamy foreplay organically led to this discussion: “Can I fuck you now?”
It caught me off guard, but not in an unpleasant way. Men had asked me this question before, and I was half expecting to decline, like I usually did. But I’d been fantasizing about having sex with him for months. This was opportunity knocking.
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” Jared continued, directing this at both me and my husband, Paul. “But it seems like the logical next step here.”
It was. “Are you okay with that?” I asked Paul. He nodded reassuringly, excited to watch me take this new step. I smiled. “Then, yes. Let’s give it a try.”
So we did. Jared became the second man I’ve ever had intercourse with, signifying a change I never thought would come: an interest in sleeping with men. Keep reading »