According to a new bummer of a study, 15 percent of people don’t believe bisexuality is a “real” orientation. In other words, they think people who identify as bisexual are lying.
The study, presented earlier this month at a meeting of the American Public Health Association, also found that the overall opinion of bisexuality is negative among both gay and straight people. Men who identified as straight were three times more likely to consider bisexuality “not a legitimate sexual orientation,” perhaps assuming that bisexuals are actually gay or just faking it. Male bisexuals were also found to be more stigmatized than female bisexuals, and women and people who identified as members of the LGBT community were less likely to have negative opinions of bisexuality. Keep reading »
I’m bisexual, so people like to ask me how dating ladies is different from dating guys. (I also get a lot of “Wanna have a threesome?” and “How do girls have sex?” The first question is a lot easier to answer.) Sometimes people ask the question with a little competitive edge in their voice — they want to know if gay girls have better relationships than straight girls, if guys are more satisfying than lesbians. But, despite the occasional delicious dream in which a dyke and an androgynous boy are fighting to give me the first orgasm, it’s not really a competition. Basically, people are people, and the people I date are more similar than different—my two serious partners have both been blazer-wearing writers who demand I “fix the back” after self-inflicted haircuts. The real differences between life in an opposite-sex dating situation and life in a lesbian one come from people’s expectations and responses. Here are a few of the major ones. Keep reading »
“Bisexual? Me? I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure I’m not … I don’t want to be one of those people that complains about the rumors. I never like it when a celebrity goes on Twitter and says, ‘This isn’t true!’ It is what it is; I tend not to do that.”
– One Direction heartthrob Harry Styles was asked point-blank by GQ to address his rumored relationship with British DJ Nick Grimshaw, and while Styles denied that specific rumor (“We’re just friends”), his reaction to the question of his sexuality was a little more ambiguous. Keep reading »
Sometimes, I have a hard time talking about being bisexual.
Part of the difficulty is label itself: bisexual. As soon as it’s said out loud, or implied with the abbreviation bi, lady sex pops into peoples’ minds and all of a sudden things get X-rated. The mere mention of bi conjures images of co-eds kissing and dancing on bars for male attention. Or, it incites the delightful fallacy that bi-folk are lying to themselves about their sexuality.
So, if labeling myself bi creates a feeling of ick, then why not call myself something else?
I’ve thought about latching onto other labels: flexible, fluid, queer, open? Why not just call myself straight when I’m with a man and gay when I’m getting my lez on? Why a label at all? Keep reading »
It’s no secret that Rihanna really loves her strippers and her desire to touch them often gets her in trouble (She was once kicked out of a club)
The “Stay” singer recently hit up a sex club in Toronto where she came dressed to role play and almost got into a fight with another woman.
If you believe the National Enquirer:
RiRi came into the club in a black cat-suit and bondage-style leather policeman’s hat and pretended to arrest several women, frisking them and even copping feels of their chests to satisfy her gay desires. Read more …
Simply put, I have been boy crazy since elementary school.
Men have always been the ones I kissed, fellated, fucked, Skype-sexed, you name it. All of my sexual experiences and struggles coming to terms with my sexual kinks have involved cisgendered men.
But until recently, there was a side of myself that lay dormant so long it would probably more appropriate to call it “stagnant.” It was a side of myself that I didn’t act upon out of fear of what would happen: the one that had sexual and romantic feelings for women. Keep reading »
When I sat down to watch “Silver Linings Playbook,” I had high hopes. Friends whose opinions I respect loved the film and praise for her performance has made Jennifer Lawrence a front-runner for Best Actress in this year’s Oscar race. I’ve loved Lawrence since “Winter’s Bone” and I’m constantly amazed by her ability to play incredibly tough, independent, strong-willed protagonists.
But “Silver Linings Playbook” left me with an uneasy feeling, and it wasn’t because of the film’s flawed grasp of mental illness or its contrived and formulaic plot. It had everything to do with the treatment of Lawrence’s character. My first reaction to the film when it ended was: “What was with all the slut shaming?” [Spoilers after the jump!] Keep reading »
GQ: Do you consider yourself bisexual?
Frank Ocean: You can move to the next question. I’ll respectfully say that life is dynamic and comes along with dynamic experiences, and the same sentiment that I have towards genres of music, I have towards a lot of labels and boxes and shit. I’m in this business to be creative-I’ll even diminish it and say to be a content provider. One of the pieces of content that I’m for fuck sure not giving is porn videos. I’m not a centerfold. I’m not trying to sell you sex. People should pay attention to that in the letter: I didn’t need to label it for it to have impact. Because people realize everything that I say is so relatable, because when you’re talking about romantic love, both sides in all scenarios feel the same shit. As a writer, as a creator, I’m giving you my experiences. But just take what I give you. You ain’t got to pry beyond that. I’m giving you what I feel like you can feel. The other shit, you can’t feel. You can’t feel a box. You can’t feel a label. Don’t get caught up in that shit. There’s so much something in life. Don’t get caught up in the nothing. That shit is nothing, you know? It’s nothing. Vanish the fear.
– R&B singer Frank Ocean, offering a radical alternative to the gay/straight, public/private dichotomy. Ocean seems to suggest that it’s not only inappropriate to try and sexually label him, but also inadequate. And while there’s plenty of implied political power in identifying as gay or bisexual, it may not be accurate or adequate for something as large as sexuality. Ocean infamously revealed that he’d previously been in love with a man on his Tumblr this past July. [GQ]
Let me tell you a story about “bi invisibility.” A few years ago, at my first full-time job – which, I should clarify, was at an LGBT nonprofit organization – I was chatting with a gay male co-worker about a conversation he had with an acquaintance of ours. Apparently I had come up in their conversation, and he had referred to me as “straight.” As in “heterosexual.” I don’t know where the rest of the story was going, because I stopped my colleague right there.
“Actually,” I interjected, “I’m not straight.”
He seemed genuinely baffled. “You’re not?”
“Well … no. I can see why you thought I was, but I’m not. I’m bisexual.”
His eyes widened and he smiled. It was like a light bulb had gone off in his head and everything suddenly made sense. Meanwhile, I walked back to my cubicle, shocked that, at an LGBT organization, anyone would assume that anyone else was straight. It surprised me that, in a space where identity politics and queer issues were discussed regularly, being in a relationship with a man would automatically signify me as a hetero. I suddenly realized that my identity as a bi woman would always be invisible. I would always be invisible. That is, unless I found a way to combat that invisibility. Keep reading »
“Personally, for me, I like people I have a connection with. I’m not the type of girl who will date someone that I don’t really like just so I’m not lonely. So the people I always end up being with are people I have a big-ass connection with, and that could be with a boy, that could be with a girl. It could be with someone who’s 40-years-old, it could be with someone who’s 18, you know what I’m saying? I don’t want to put those boundaries on myself because that’ll limit the kind of people that I attract. I don’t go searching for girls and guys, I just take whatever comes my way and that’s just genuine.”
– Rapper Kreayshawn spoke with Salon.com about Frank Ocean’s coming-out and her own sexuality, namely how she herself doesn’t label it. This bit reminded me of an article I read yesterday in New York magazine. They interviewed a bunch of bisexuals — rather, more accurately, people who have been attracted to both men and women throughout their lives — and I was surprised at how many of them used the label “gay” or “straight” or no label at all instead of saying “bi.” For myself I prefer to just say “straight-ish” … or “slut.” [Salon.com]