I have gone on record as a person who, with a few exceptions (teeny tiny sparrows that stay at least five feet away from me), hates birds. I mean, I recognize they’re importance to the overall eco system, so it’s not like I want them all to die, though I am certainly happy to eat them. I just happen to personally feel that birds are flying dinosaurs who’ve been around since forever, and their tiny, beady, evil eyes are time capsules reflecting millions of years of terrifying Earthly destruction. And owls? Owls are the old creepy pervert of birds/flying dinosaurs. JUST LISTEN TO THEM LAUGH. I will be NOPING for days. [Refinery 29]
My mom and I are a lot alike, but one way in which we differ is that she loves bird and I think they are gross not cool dinosaurs. Especially the big ones. GAG. So, my mom loves to send me photos of birds she thinks are beautiful but knows will scare me — it’s a bonding thing. But when she posted this video on her Facebook page, featuring a crow who is using an old mayonnaise lid to SLED DOWN A DAMN ROOF, I was like, “Bird, I respect you for that.” I am down with his DIY snow day fun. It is almost cute. Okay, it is cute, but don’t tell anyone I said that. [Death & Taxes]
Pamela Brun of Chesterfield, Virginia, had a stressful few hours when she lost her wedding rings on the same day her husband was having open heart surgery. Fortunately, her rings were returned by a good Samaritan. But what was Pamela doing when she lost her rings? Oh, just changing her bird’s diaper. Keep reading »
My friends, family and coworkers always make fun of me for my terrifying fear of birds. Just watch this video of a fucking eagle swooping in and attempting to snatch a toddler and then try and tell me that these flying dinosaurs aren’t full of pure evil.
Noooooo. Birds, especially large human-sized birds are my biggest fear. I’m suddenly very, very scared of Jennifer Lawrence. WTF, W magazine?!
Well, isn’t this quite a little riddle. When can a penguin — a bird that absolutely can’t normally fly — take to the sky? When it’s on a plane, silly. These two tuxedo-ed little guys were flying first class — naturally — from San Antonio to Atlanta. [YouTube]