Researchers at the University of Wisconsin-Madison say that gender inequality is the cause of the “math gap” between boys and girls—not just girls sucking at math.

The study looked at countries in the World Economic Forum’s Gender Gap Index and found that girls score better at math in countries where there is more freedom, better education and financial opportunities for females. For example, girls in Iran, that beacon of women’s rights, scored low in the International Mathematical Olympiad—but in the U.S., girls are taking high school calculus at the same rate as boys. 

We’ve all read about that so-called dastardly “hugging epidemic” that is sweeping the nation’s youth like The Jitterbug (or oral sex parties) and spurring quick-thinking middle and high schools to ban hugs.

But though we chuckle at the idea that in 2009, school administrators are whipping out the “Keep six inches between you for the Holy Spirit!” line of rhetoric, the Affection Police are actually pretty effed-up. Contrary to what Principal Skinner might have you believe, humans aren’t affectionate just because we like copping a feel—we may have a biological imperative to bond.

Days like this make me love my job. I spent the last hour reading an article about the human penis: “Secrets of the Phallus: Why Is the Penis Shaped Like That?” Written by Jesse Bering at Scientific American, the piece explores the research of evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup at SUNY Albany, who has spent his life wondering why in the hell the human penis is so funny looking. After the jump, eight impressive and interesting tidbits from his research, including how I might someday bear the child of Ryan Gosling.

The current issue of Rolling Stone features the Hotness Award-nominated band the Jonas Brothers. I was a nanny for an 8-year old not too long ago and while she introduced me to the magical world of Miley Cyrus, I have never been able to like the Jonas Brothers because she sang that song “Year 3000” at the top of her lungs 24/7 and let me tell you, it was annoying. But I did learn something new from reading RS’ profile of the hugely, insanely, mega popular band. According to Dr. Louannn Brizendine, author of The Female Brain:

“There’s a thing in biology we call synchrony. Basically, one girl affects another affects another, and it becomes a domino effect building up to that level of hysteria. They are getting all these brain hits of dopamine, and also oxytocin, which is a love-and-bonding hormone. Teenage girls have so much estrogen, which just catapults the level of dopamine and oxytocin in the brain, creating this sort of ecstatic rush in themselves and others. It truly is a state of ecstatic love.”

That explains the masses of crying teens whose fingers graze against Nick Jonas’ arm or the hoards of fans who welcomed the Beatles to America in 1964. It also explains why I contemplated suicide when I didn’t get Pearl Jam tickets in 1992 (my dad eventually forked over money to a scalper and saved my life). So, if the statement above is true, who had that ecstatic power over your teenage heart?