To tell you the truth, I don’t really give a shit that Gwyneth Paltrow is selling bikinis for little girls through her website, GOOP. Gwyneth Paltrow is also the person who suggested your spring wardrobe could use a $1,615 black skirt. She’s not really the arbiter of sensibility or good taste, no matter how many thousand-dollar clothing items she convinces you that you just have to have. The bikini in question is a $45 miniature version for girls (pictured at right) that matches an adult design, all of which were created by designer Melissa Obadash for GOOP. I do think that bikinis are too grown up for five-year-olds; I also think that this battle against the sexualization of young girls has already been lost. Bikinis for little girls aren’t going to go anywhere. I wouldn’t buy a bikini for my own hypothetical kid because I just think one-pieces are more appropriate, but Gwynnie and her GOOPies can do what they want — and expect the rest of us to laugh at them. [Styleite, Daily Mail UK]
Sure, teeny bikinis are sexy, but they’re very likely to leave you with a nip slip situation the very second a wave hits. Yet, celebs keep on wearing them to the beach, and getting photographed with exposed nip. Will they ever learn? Probably not. But their choice of swimwear has provided us with lunch time guessing game fodder. We’re just jealous that we’re at our desks and not soaking up the sun on some tropical island. Sigh. Click through and see if you can match the nip slip with the celebrity. Whose nipple belongs inside this white bikini?
I don’t want to write about bikinis. I want to write about the amazing blue cheese dressing I made with buttermilk! (For some reason, I think buttermilk is the coolest thing ever.) And the pizza I found myself absentmindedly dipping in it until I’d eaten a whole piece like that.
I want to write about little victories and subtle triumphs. But there’s a bikini in the back of my mind, its strings tangling in my thoughts, its sliver of a bottom giving my brain a wedgie.
The thing is, I keep lying. Because I’m embarrassed.
This month, my husband Bear and I are going on a trip with my family. My parents won the trip, to a beautiful house in the Virgin Islands, in a synagogue raffle. My brothers and their girlfriends are coming, too. I can’t wait. I am imagining the ocean and that sudden sense of eternity that engulfs you when you look at it. You have to look away, because it’s too big.
Also, I will be wearing a bikini, I’m assuming. Since I have never found a one-piece that was a match for my long torso. Since I am young and sexy and perfectly capable of wearing a bikini.
I hope. Keep reading »
I don’t know about you, but my bikini body doesn’t look anything like the ones on the cover of In Touch … unless we’re talking about one of those “Pregnant Or Ate A Burrito?!” articles. Let’s be real: no one other than Kim Kardashian (and her team of makeup artists, hairstylists and spray tanners) looks like Kim Kardashian in a bikini. The rest of us just look … human. So in the spirit of body love, I’ve cobbled together candid pics 23 celebs in any many shapes and sizes as I could find, rocking out at the pool. This, my Frisky friends, is what folks look like without Photoshop: cellulite, muffin top and all.
Summer is here and while we couldn’t be more excited about long weekends at the beach, the thought of getting into a swimsuit can be decidedly less appealing. Whether it’s pasty skin that isn’t ready for public exposure, or a New Year’s resolution of getting to the gym every day that didn’t quite happen, we are here to ease your worries.
Like most things in life, there is something for everyone. Whether you prefer a one-piece with a plunging V neck to show off your upper body, or you can’t wait to bare all in a teeny-weeny bikini, we are here with the right suit for your shape. And even if you’re still hesitant about getting into your suit, take heart, there are a multitude of ways to stay covered-up in style this summer.
Here, 13 tips on the right suit for you, as well as 27 celebrities showing off their stuff. Read more…
I don’t know about you, but being out in the sun for long stretches of time makes me very, very hungry. I would happily consider wearing a bikini that would both protect me from the sun and from hunger. So what if I can’t wear it while I swim? At least I won’t have to pack a sandwich. This pizzakini is perfect for poolside tanning and snacking — two of my favorite summer activities. Click through to see some more fabulous foodkinis. [The Clearly Dope]
You guys, I simply cannot stay silent for a moment longer. The cost of swimwear is too damn high! It’s. Too. Damn. High. I’m going to Mexico in a month so I’ve been on the hunt for a new bikini to bring with me and wear basically 24/7 while I’m there. But I am seriously appalled by how much swimwear designers are charging for these scant pieces of fabric. Who wants to spend $200 on something that is going to spend the majority of its time soaking in chlorine or salt water, chafing against sand, and fading in the sun? Who wants to spend $200 on something that is, for most of us, sort of depressing to shop for because it illuminates our unfair body image issues? NOT ME. AND NOT YOU. That’s why I am taking it upon myself to track down the best swimsuits in a variety of styles under $75, that way you still have money to spend on, you know, getting to the beach(or pool or lake or swimming hole) in the first place.
First up: bandeaus! This is my ideal bikini style because I really don’t like tanlines on my shoulders or chest — all of these bandeau tops (with matching/coordinating bottoms) come with a strap/straps that you can either untie or remove, that way you can still feel secure when you’re running through the waves. Click on to see what I’ve picked!
Since Katy Perry and Lady Gaga have outshone her of late in the alien-esque fashion, Crayola-colored hair department, it appears that Rihanna has decided to go a little bit country. While shooting a new video for “We Found Love” in Ireland, it appears that RiRi has fashioned herself a bikini out of bandanas. What do you think? She also apparently shocked the owner of the farm she was shooting on by going topless for a few minutes, but that is another story. [Huffington Post, MTV]
My bikini has been through the ringer — two summers ago, I learned how to surf in it; I wore it every weekend to the beach in Long Island the summer after; in December, I rocked it on a week-long vacation in Mexico. It’s so faded and stretched out that when I went to the beach this weekend and dove in the ocean to cool off, the bottoms were pulled almost entirely off by the force of the relatively small wave. It’s time for a new bikini (I prefer them to one-pieces) and preferably one that I can swim in. Here are 12 cute options that hopefully won’t leave me — or you — indecently exposed.
RyanAir, the cheap-o European airline, has released its fourth calendar of ladies from its cabin crew frolicking on a tropical beach in bikinis. Proceeds from the 2011 RyanAir calendar, which costs $14, will be donated to a German kids’ charity. While, personally, I don’t care if women want to pose in bikinis for a calendar or whatever, I think it’s unprofessional for a company to do one with its employees. I mean, it’s an airline, not Hooters! Although I know the quality that I most appreciate in a flight attendant is her taut stomach. (Sarcasm again, people.) [NY Daily News]
(P.S. Thanks, John DeVore, for the title!) Keep reading »