Jenni “JWoww” Farley is probably my favorite castmate on “Jersey Shore,” which is kind of like saying, “Chlamydia is my favorite STD.” And yes, expecting class, grace and tastefulness from anyone in the Shore house would would be ridiculous. However, JWoww’s new line of stick-on bikinis is really next level. You know, stick-on bikinis. Because tying a bikini is really too hard. Keep reading »
Oregon resident Sandy MicMillan recently took a quick trip to her local Walmart to pick up chips, sour cream, and coffee creamer (this detail is not important, I just thought I would call your attention to her shopping list). She figured it was hot out and, duh, it’s Walmart, so why put on clothes over her skimpy string bikini (which she incidentally purchased there last summer)? I mean, if People Of Walmart
is an accurate depiction of patron fashion, then there isn’t really a dress code at the superstore. Ass cracks, back tits, and pet goats, come one, come all! Sandy claims Walmart employees kicked her out of their fine establishment, complaining that she was showing too much skin and violating health codes (huh?). Walmart denies the story, saying that Sandy was actually asked to leave for being verbally abusive, not for her outfit choice. Sandy is now boycotting Walmart forever and will probably file a lawsuit. She’ll just have to get her cream products somewhere else, somewhere that appreciates a woman’s right to flaunt her bikini bod. [Dlisted
] Keep reading »
Among what I’m sure are the many honors of Miss Turkey Gizem Memiç, the face of Carl’s Jr.’s
turkey burger is surely on top. In Carl’s Jr.’s latest commercial, Miss Turkey shills for the fast food joint’s turkey burgers in stiletto heels, a pageant sash and a custom-made bikini
with little turkey burgers printed on it. While Carl’s Jr. commercials are always gratuitously frat-tastic — boobs! fried meat! blowjob imagery
! — I have to admit that bikini is pretty awesome. Congratulations, Carl’s Jr., you made a commercial that’s approaching slightly tasteful. [YouTube
] Keep reading »
I’m the last person to say a new mama can’t be sexy. But this bikini contest for pregnant women is bizarro. Moms-to-be don’t need to pop every which way out of a thong bikini to look beautiful. And seriously, anyone who is that knocked up shouldn’t be allowed to wear platform boots unless she’s trying to self-abort during a disco dance-off.
But hey, one pregnant woman’s pickles and ice cream is another pregnant woman’s fishnet thigh-highs. [Dlisted]
UPDATE: Oh hai! So, seems some of y’all didn’t quite get that Jessica was kidding. Well, she was. Hugely. PUN! I would like to assume anyone who’s read Jessica’s stuff on The Frisky — and complained about her being fat-centric or something — would get that she wasn’t being serious, but for those of you who were unaware, this was meant entirely tongue in cheek. And now I shall return to devouring a pint of ice cream and a jar of pickles. Even though I am not pregnant. Keep reading »
It’s that annoying time of year when celebs start “flaunting their bikini bods” and we get sick with envy over the kind of physique a team of personal trainers/dieticians/beauticians/stylists can get you. So fine, we’ll do it the hard way. After the jump, 10 ways you can get it together yourself. Because, let’s face it, no one else is going to do it for you, right? Keep reading »
Removing bikini hair is a tough task that can end in a lot of pain, little red bumps, or unwanted stubble. With just a few steps, you can be silky smooth and ready to show off even the smallest string bikini. Learn how to remove bikini hair easily, after the jump!
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