Oregon resident Sandy MicMillan recently took a quick trip to her local Walmart to pick up chips, sour cream, and coffee creamer (this detail is not important, I just thought I would call your attention to her shopping list). She figured it was hot out and, duh, it’s Walmart, so why put on clothes over her skimpy string bikini (which she incidentally purchased there last summer)? I mean, if People Of Walmart
is an accurate depiction of patron fashion, then there isn’t really a dress code at the superstore. Ass cracks, back tits, and pet goats, come one, come all! Sandy claims Walmart employees kicked her out of their fine establishment, complaining that she was showing too much skin and violating health codes (huh?). Walmart denies the story, saying that Sandy was actually asked to leave for being verbally abusive, not for her outfit choice. Sandy is now boycotting Walmart forever and will probably file a lawsuit. She’ll just have to get her cream products somewhere else, somewhere that appreciates a woman’s right to flaunt her bikini bod. [Dlisted
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Among what I’m sure are the many honors of Miss Turkey Gizem Memiç, the face of Carl’s Jr.’s
turkey burger is surely on top. In Carl’s Jr.’s latest commercial, Miss Turkey shills for the fast food joint’s turkey burgers in stiletto heels, a pageant sash and a custom-made bikini
with little turkey burgers printed on it. While Carl’s Jr. commercials are always gratuitously frat-tastic — boobs! fried meat! blowjob imagery
! — I have to admit that bikini is pretty awesome. Congratulations, Carl’s Jr., you made a commercial that’s approaching slightly tasteful. [YouTube
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I’m the last person to say a new mama can’t be sexy. But this bikini contest for pregnant women is bizarro. Moms-to-be don’t need to pop every which way out of a thong bikini to look beautiful. And seriously, anyone who is that knocked up shouldn’t be allowed to wear platform boots unless she’s trying to self-abort during a disco dance-off.
But hey, one pregnant woman’s pickles and ice cream is another pregnant woman’s fishnet thigh-highs. [Dlisted]
UPDATE: Oh hai! So, seems some of y’all didn’t quite get that Jessica was kidding. Well, she was. Hugely. PUN! I would like to assume anyone who’s read Jessica’s stuff on The Frisky — and complained about her being fat-centric or something — would get that she wasn’t being serious, but for those of you who were unaware, this was meant entirely tongue in cheek. And now I shall return to devouring a pint of ice cream and a jar of pickles. Even though I am not pregnant. Keep reading »
It’s that annoying time of year when celebs start “flaunting their bikini bods” and we get sick with envy over the kind of physique a team of personal trainers/dieticians/beauticians/stylists can get you. So fine, we’ll do it the hard way. After the jump, 10 ways you can get it together yourself. Because, let’s face it, no one else is going to do it for you, right? Keep reading »
Removing bikini hair is a tough task that can end in a lot of pain, little red bumps, or unwanted stubble. With just a few steps, you can be silky smooth and ready to show off even the smallest string bikini. Learn how to remove bikini hair easily, after the jump!
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Summer may be a few months away, but I personally think that there’s never a better time than now to start daydreaming about warm weather and beach vacations. But for some, the idea of rolling waves or pools might be more of a nightmare, because warm temperatures mean bathing suits and baring it all. If you’re not quite bikini body-ready (and let’s be honest, after the holidays, who really is?), here’s a bit of good news: Spanx, the company revered by many for their body-slimming undergarments, has decided to branch out. Meet Spanx swimwear, which sucks in just like their body shapers but is cute and fashionable — you’d actually want to wear it even if it didn’t give you perfect curves. More after the jump … [Glamour] Keep reading »
Amber Rose showed off her impressive rump in a G-string bikini while vacationing with Kanye West in Miami Beach. She pretty much had a piece of orange floss up her butt, which makes me wonder what the front is like. She has quite the cajones to strut around like that, especially when Kanye is fully clothed, but she was a stripper.
Although I don’t have a stripper past, I did find it liberating to wear a thong string bikini while on vacay in the Bahamas. I’d been working at a sex store and fell in love with a white, ruffled bikini that had pink piping along the edges, but the bottom was a thong. I decided to buy it anyway. Keep reading »
As if a thong bikini wasn’t hard enough to wear already, a German company has created one that dissolves in water within seconds. Um, what’s the point of a swimsuit that disappears when wet? Well, supposedly the company is marketing the Get Naked Bikini as a way for spurned dudes to embarrass their old girlfriends. Spike.com called it “The Ultimate Revenge Gift.” Uh huh, cause nothing says “I still love you” quite like getting an itty-bitty bikini from your ex, right ladies? Sheesh, we can see right through this trick, literally. [Spike] Keep reading »
When you imagine a crime spree, you probably think of a beefy guy in a ski mask with maybe, I don’t know, a weapon? Well, in Mississippi last week, a 24-year-old woman carjacked another woman in her driveway, allowing the woman to remove her kid from the car first. Then, she tried to rob an RV dealership. She told the dealership employees that she was packing heat and told them to cough up the cash. But the employees didn’t believe her. Why? Probably because she was wearing a bikini during this entire venture. Where are you going to hide a gun when you’re wearing four triangles of clothing? [Yahoo! News]
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