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An Open Letter To The “Big Brother 14″ Jury

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Dear Members of the “Big Brother” Season 14 Jury,

Seriously, y’all are a bunch of butthurts. As a longtime fan of “Big Brother,” I am ashamed of you for voting for Ian to win “Big Brother 14″ over Dan. (Danielle, I can’t give you too many props for voting for Dan to win, because you only did so out of loyalty and loyalty in this game is bullshit. You should have voted for him because he deserved it.) The only reason you all voted for Ian over Dan was put best by Ian himself: he “played a slightly cleaner game.”

That is the worst reason EVER to award someone $500,000. If the choice is between someone who played a dirty game and someone who played a clean game, I can see why someone might choose the saint over the sinner. But faced with two liars, I would pick the one who lied the best, the hardest, the most convincingly, the one who lied with his hand on a Bible, on his wedding ring, and on the cross owned by his dead grandfather. That person, again and again and again, up until the very last second, was Dan. And you all fell for it. Ultimately, the only reason you didn’t vote for him to win in the end was as simple as … U MAD?!?!?! Keep reading »

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