On April 28, David Beckmann, 64, of Roselle, Illinois was booked on a host of horrifying charges, including battery and attempted indecent solicitation of a child. But his most bizarre crime? Sexually assaulting a peacock. Before we get into the particulars, can I just start out by saying what everyone is probably thinking: how in the fuck do you sexually abuse a peacock? The bird, named Phyl, was seen alive by neighbors the night before its body was discovered while police were investigating another crime. The exact nature of the sexual abuse has not been revealed by police, as it also allegedly involved the indecent solicitation of a child estimated to be between the ages of 13 and 17. In any case, we now have something new to have nightmares about. [Daily Herald]
You’d be better off raping a woman in Missouri than a dog in Michigan — at least according to the latest sentence handed down for convicted dog sex-haver Kurtis Peterson. Peterso, of Muskegon, Michigan, was caught — by the same woman! — having sex with his pet pit bull not once, but twice. Joyce Yeaw first caught Peterson in the act while attempting to return a key to Peterson’s roommate. He claimed he was just “hugging” the animal. She found him a second time having sex on the living room floor. (Joyce Yeaw doesn’t knock, I guess.)
During the case, Peterson admitted he was “sexually aroused from accidental contact with the animal’s rear,” but claimed that he was “just playing with the dog.” Fourteenth circuit judge Timothy J. Hicks, citing the high likelihood of Peterson reoffending, issued a sentence of one to 15 years — which is about what you’d get for raping a human in Michigan, too, and far more than the minimum sentences for rape in many other states. Then again, the pit bull probably wasn’t a stupid slut. Keep reading »
I just watched the trailer for “Donkey Love,” a documentary about remote parts of Colombia where the deep, dark secret is that lots of men have sex with donkeys. Then I watched three more times in a row just to make sure I was understanding it correctly. Julie is of the opinion that this film is a hoax as evidenced by how flippant filmmaker, Daryl Stoneage, comes off in the trailer. He’s does have a real, “Hey bro, let me watch while you abuse your animals and laugh about it,” kind of a vibe. Um, why is he laughing? But I’d have to see the entire film to more of a sense of its veracity. Keep reading »
Try to have sex with an animal against its will, expect a penis injury.
“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” said 44-year-old Russian man, Alexander Kirilov.
I spent a long time trying to understand this sentence. The thought of “having some fun” with an animal is beyond my scope of comprehension. Keep reading »
We already knew that SWA (sex with animals) was bad for the soul, but the other day we learned why it is equally bad for the penis. Just so we’re all clear here, sticking a d**k in a non-human animal hole doubles the risk for penis cancer. Sure, we knew that somehow, somewhere in a very intangible, hard-to-conceptualize way, that people were doing it with animals, but we were blown away by just how many zoophiles there were out there. The stats suggested that as many as 35 percent of men in rural Brazil had engaged in bestiality at some point. But men having SWA are not only on the farm; about 36 percent of the animal f**ker population reside in big cities. So there you have it, SWA is more widely practiced than we thought. The more you know. Keep on clicking to find out about more crazy sexual practices you may not be familiar with.
Don’t go to Florida if you plan to get laid, because doin’ it is officially illegal there. In an attempt to outlaw bestiality, Florida lawmakers accidentally banned all sex acts. The new law bans “knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal.” As we know from the great Nine Inch Nails song, “Closer,” wanting to f#@k like an animal doesn’t mean you’re into animal husbandry. And if you ever took a science class, you also know that humans are technically animals. We know what they meant, but the wording is unfortunate. Oh silly Florida, what are we going to do with you? [Newser] Keep reading »
Single mother Suzanne Morgan made a life-changing discovery one evening after she put her daughter Tasha to bed. Her dog Dixie was howling, barking uncontrollably, hungry to be fed. She opened the cupboards and discovered they were bare. She was low on cash after her husband split. So instead of going to the store to pick up some kibble, she tried something more … uh … unusual. She breastfed her dog. Yes, she brought her DOG to her nipple and let it suckle. Keep reading »
Going for shock value is a well-known tactic in the fashion industry. But these SSense photos of a lick-happy dog that appears to be aroused and a model with an O-face are not risque — they’re just gross. Never have I wanted to think of bestiality while ogling a killer pair of pumps or my next freakum dress. In fact, I don’t want to think of bestiality ever! Check out more completely baffling photos after the jump. [Trend de la Crème] Keep reading »