Why didn’t he call? What did I do wrong? Do you think he likes me? If I had a nickel for every time I asked my BFF these questions, I’d be rich. While I may pointlessly fritter away my imaginary nickels on high-heels, it turns out that I’ve definitely been wasting my energy and time, not just the money I’ve spent, on the wrong lovers. According to an article in The New York Times by Sarah Kershaw, “Girl Talk Has Its Limits,” constantly looking for a sympathetic ear may be sabotaging your relationships. While getting validation for your vagina troubles can be comforting, stewing in your confusion with your girly support group may do more harm than good. Apparently, psychologists have concluded that over-analyzing situations can be a recipe for cyclical negative thinking and even increase anxiety, especially in teen girls. Rather than formulating plans of action or simply living in the moment, chewing on every morsel of your relationship with your girlfriends cooks all the little bits into juicy gossip. While your bitches may give you the emotional band-aid you’re looking for, placing that much social significance on each twist and turn in a tawdry affair can suck the fun right out of all that sucking face. Not to mention, technology has made “co-rumination” as instantaneously easy as an email, phone call, or text message. Nowadays, you can chitchat mid-rendezvous like a sports announcer calling the shots at a match. Granted, love is a game we’re all playing, so clearly labeling relationship reflection as merely “girl talk” definitely has its sexist problems. After all, you know, men smack-talk it up, too! Alas, the researchers claim that when guys open up to each other, albeit less frequently, it actually helps their romance. So, somehow, our need to constantly communicate with our gal pals has created a glass ceiling for love. Ugh! Well, ceilings need vents, dammit. [Scarleteen] Keep reading »
