So, last night I had a date with a guy who showed up with mutton chops. Three weeks ago he did not have them. And now he does.* Sigh.

The man who can pull off exaggerated sideburns is a rare breed, but it seems, guys really like to go for it several times in their life. Looking back, I recall with dismay two boyfriends who decided to grow mutton chops, plus a handful of male friends who had surprised me with new facial ‘dos after not seeing them for a while. Commenting on it, of course, is inevitable, and always met by the question, “Yeah, do you like it?” “Ummm ... interesting.” In a way, you can’t blame them. Girls have so many more styling options, and if I were a guy, I’d probably get bored and frustrated with my look. I’m just not sure I’d turn myself into Colonel Mustard. You know how in women’s fashion, we always talk about “dressing for guys” and “dressing for girls”? Is this the male equivalent? Do any ladies find mutton chops hot?

*For the record, the date was splendid—disliking a guy’s facial hair situation wouldn’t change the way I really feel about him.

Here’s a good potential Regretsy candidate—pointless beards made of felt by Etsy seller I Made You A Beard. Please tell us people would not a) pay $75 for one, and b) wear it in public. Or am I being terribly unfair here? [Etsy.com]

Seriously, what is it with guys and their annual beard-growing fascination? (Maybe it’s for Movember?) Doesn’t it seem like they do it just to prove they can, rather than to change their look? David Beckham is now sporting a beard which he started growing during a camping trip with his kids and he then “got carried away,” he tells the Guardian. The British newspaper, however, hates Beckham’s beard, not just a little bit, but quite a lot.

If you have a thing for guys with facial hair, specifically beards, you should have been in Bavaria last weekend. The International German Beard Championships had 127 men from six countries competing for awards in 17 categories, including best natural beard and best Dali-style mustache. The men paraded their facial hair in front of a panel of judges, and much like a beauty pageant, it took some hours to get ready—one competitor admitted to spending four or five hours grooming for the event. Check out this slideshow of some noteworthy participants to find your new bearded crush. [Spiegel]

Beards aren’t just for gay men anymore. What started as manly scruff has grown into a full-on beard trend, as indie stars rock facial hair like they’re Greek philosophers. From the Foo Fighters’ front man Dave Grohl to Jake Gyllenhaal and Justin Timberlake, razors in Hollywood seem to be strictly for below the belt.  Even Entourage’s Adrian Grenier was just spotted looking fine with more fuzz than a chia pet, while baby-faced Disney star Shia LaBeouf is all grown up with whiskers on the set of his new movie Eagle Eye.  Although the wave of hair has swept up so many, there has been one casualty: Ryan Gosling.  He recently shaved and sure, he’s so sweet we’ll always want him to impregnate us. But Ryan, while your career might be strong, the beard has got to make a comeback. We like our men looking like lumberjacks, it makes us think of wood.