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Topless Sunbathing Out In France, We Help Them Cover Up With Lovely Swimwear

[$69, Seafolly, Figleaves]

Horny boys all across the U.S. can now cross France off their list of places to visit because topless sunbathing is no longer legal there. (I’ll give you a moment to shed one slow tear here, gentlemen, before pointing out that most of the topless biddies I saw while there were of the older, not-so-sprightly variety.) While we sympathize with our French sistren (like brethren, but sisters), our grief is not so great that we haven’t the energy to help them through this difficult time. So, in the spirit of world peace and doing good deeds for our across-the-ocean neighbors, here are a few options for covering up your goodies on the beaches of France. (And, don’t worry, we’ll keep them extra small so the switch isn’t too much of a shock.) [The Cut]

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Spend The Day Chillaxing On An Artsy Beach Blanket

Koons towel

Here at The Frisky, we’ve talked wearable towels, Gucci towels and recession-defying $500 towels, but here’s another sort of absorbent fabric type to add to the list: Artware Editions has just introduced their 2009 Artist Towel Series. It features three-ply designs from some pretty big-deal artists like Ed Ruscha, Karen Kilimnick, Raymond Pettibon and Julian Schnabel. (Last year the round-up included Jeff Koons (check it, above) and Elizabeth Peyton.) You should also know that these are massive towels. Seriously, you could throw one of these bad boys down on the sand and fit at least two healthy-sized adults on there. And while drying off doesn’t come cheap (they run $95 each), I guess they’re a bit more accessible than say, buying a Koons sculpture at auction prices. [Artware Editions]

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The Inspiration Board: Feeling Summer Much?

It’s hard to look all darling when you’re freaking baking inside a worrisomely hot car and not say, chillaxin’ in the breezy Bahamas. Somehow, our style icon-o-the-day, indie fashion maven Zooey Deschanel, makes toasty weather chic look easy and reminds us of cotton candy, photo booths, lounge chairs, and that sweet, sweet patio water mister we’re saving up for. Luckily, these cute shoes are cool and way cheaper.

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Chillax At The Beach In The Ostrich Chair

Relax This Summer In The Ostrich Chair

It has been a while since I brought you anything seriously wacky from the blogosphere. I hit a dry spell. This time I have found something pretty nutty. Actually, I am a bit thrown off as this oddball find looks like it might really do what the box says it will. How unusual!

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Beach Cover Ups That Actually Make Sense

The point of a cover up: to take the near-nudity of a bikini and make it vaguely acceptable to wear in public. The function of Katie Price’s (aka Jordan) “cover up” during a recent trip to Ibiza: somehow making her look more trampy than she would in just a swimsuit. The mind reels.

In the hopes of helping you avoid similar swimsuit cover up fails, we’ve rounded up a few pretty ones that will leave you looking cute but appropriate, not seconds away from humping the next thing that crosses your path.

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8 Suits, 8 Kids: Kate Gosselin’s Matchy-Matchy Vacay

Kate Gosselin Bikinis

Not that it’s a surprise to anyone out there that the Gosselin’s are on vacay—well, everyone minus Jon who’s motoring around his yard back in P-A on his ATV—and if you’ve seen anything of Kate on the beach you know the woman is working it. New suit every day, giant sunglasses, personal trainer-bought six-pack abs. And because Ms.Thing has loads of style (and kids) we thought why not match a kid to the suit—fun way to get to know who is who!

And since twin Mady’s the total diva of the show (well, she’s ain’t the only one, she’s really a mini-Kate), she inspired KG’s total sexy-time suit. How’s that for attention grabbing?

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Crave: Lily Pulitzer “Beachy” Fragrance

Lily Pulitzer Beachy Fragrance

You don’t need to get sandy to experience the beach. Lilly Pulitzer’s new Beachy fragrance smells as yummy the real thing. If you’re a fan of watermelon, citrus, and jasmine blossoms, you’re bound to become a fan. The delicious scent will set you back $48, but the delicate blue bottle it comes in (and adorable mini scarf wrapped around it) makes it so worth it. So, give yourself a spritz or two and escape to the shore. [$48, Sephora]

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How To Look Good In A Swimsuit

Retro girl in swimsuit

The weekend’s finally here!  And in the summer time, that can only mean one thing, it’s time to put on your bathing suit and hit the beach, pool, backyard, hood of a car…whatevs, you’re getting into a swatch of spandex and it’s time to show off!  How to look your best in a bikini may seem like an existential crisis, forcing you to question everything from your food intake to how deep you need to go into the water.  But we’ve distilled down the strutting your stuff essentials into a few easy steps so you can step out and confidently show some skin!

1. Ooze with Attitude Be confident and casual—that’s always sexy. If you know you look good, so does everyone else.

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Ten Chic, Irresistible Straw Hats

Straw Hat

I burn easily and absolutely must wear a hat when I go to the beach. While I usually don the baseball cap I’ve had for about eight years (perfectly broken in and also a little smelly), I think a straw hat would look a lot more sophisticated. And who knew they came in so many flavors!? Here are 10 of my favorites.

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