be my boyfriend - Page 6

Guys

Dear Lawrence Edmonds,

From one person who can’t resist a dare to another, I bow down to you for taking this one on. Licking 62 Anglican Cathedrals in the UK in 13 months and taking photographic evidence of it just to avoid having to perform an act of public streaking? That’s really something. READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Dear Guy Who Sings “Kiss From A Rose” To His Cat,

Not all of us can hit a high note. Hell, not all of us can hit any notes. But that hasn’t stopped you from expressing your love in the best way you know how: by serenading your cat with Seal’s masterpiece, “Kiss… READ MORE »


Entertainment

It’s not often that I’m impressed by a man’s physical abilities. But Guy Who Farted So Loud Your Neighbor Pulled A Gun On You, you, my friend, have some major fart skills, and maybe the key to my heart. One, I love a man who’s confident enough in his bodily functions to let one rip… READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Jason Slater,

May I start off by saying that one of the most attractive qualities a potential boyfriend can have is a sense of playfulness. And you, my friend, have that. I see absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that you are 28 years old and live in a pillow fort in… READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Devil Impersonator,

They have not revealed your identity, but aren’t you quite the little shit starter. I wonder what gave you the idea to put on a devil costume and try to crash a confirmation service at a church in northern Africa. Granted, you were arrested before you made it into the… READ MORE »


Entertainment

You had me at, “I don’t take no orders from no woman.”

Meet Ihor Stetkewycz, the man of my dreams — a tree removal guy who pissed off Detroit-area residents when he dumped a pile of tree stumps on their street and sped off. But that’s not why we’re in love. Ihor is… READ MORE »


Guys

Insert your favorite pussy joke here: A guy in — where else? — Florida, was arrested after he tried to take his kitten into a strip club and was denied entry. Everett Lages was arrested after he repeatedly called 911 after being told he had to leave the premises. Lages apparently expected that the cops… READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Unidentified Man Who Stole 400,000 Toothpicks,

Let me start by saying that I do not condone theft. But I will say, your crime intrigues me. I am imagining the circumstances under which someone would break into a toothpick factory and steal $3,000 worth of product — that’s nearly half a million toothpicks! READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Guy Who Filled His House With Mammoth Bones,

Two years ago, when you found your first woolly mammoth bone in your Iowa backyard, you reacted like most people would, by saying to your sons, “Boys, that’s a bone. That’s a really big bone.” But it was how you proceeded after that that… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Artist Burt Jansen was bummed when his cat Orville was killed by a car, but he also saw his pet’s death as an artistic opportunity — turning lemons into lemonade, if you will. Jansen stuffed the dead animal, and through some ingenious engineering, turned Orville the Cat into Orville the Helicopter, or the Orvillecopter. The… READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Guy Who Built An Exact Replica Of The Car From “Ghostbusters,”

If I were to make a list of traits I find irresistible in a man, it would go something like this: “dark hair, green eyes, great sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, and most importantly, willingness to spend almost $80,000 to turn… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Earlier this week, Iowa man Jerald Reiter was arrested with a zebra and a parrot in his car. But that’s not what got him busted. No, it seems Reiter was arrested for driving under the influence and was put in handcuffs in the parking lot of the (wait for it) Dog House Bar.

READ MORE »


Entertainment

Dear Dude Who Was Kicked Out Of Manhattan’s Blue Ruin Bar For Eating A Salad In The Bathroom,

Where have you been all my life? Finally, someone who understands the simple pleasure of eating leafy greens in the serenity of a lavatory. I love to take my salad breaks in the bathtub. Like… READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Guy Who Legally Changed His Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex,

Last week you were just a regular 23-year-old guy named Tyler Gold from York, Nebraska. Then you went to court and filed a motion to change your name to Tyrannosaurus Rex, telling a judge you wanted to do it because it was “cooler” READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Guy With Permanent Converse,

I don’t know who you are, but you may be my sole mate. What an innovative idea it was to get shoes tattooed on your feet! Just think, you’ll never be refused service at a fast food joint or a gas station ever again. Bonus points for choosing… READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Batman Goatee Guy,

You are either a really serious Batman fan or have an excellent sense of humor or both. You’re handy with a razor and possess the ability to grow thick, lustrous facial hair. I’m not sure what else I could ever want in a man. Do you have a date… READ MORE »


Entertainment

You guys like animals, I love animals. You guys like getting drunk, I like getting drunk. It seems like we’d get along. After all, it’s not every day that three guys get drunk, break into a Sea World and steal a friggin’ penguin. [Daily Mail UK] … READ MORE »


Guys

Dear Kenichi Ito (aka Monkey Man),

I really admire how you’ve been perfecting different movement styles based on the Patas monkey of Africa. For the record, I don’t think you look like a monkey. I’m sorry that you were teased as a child. I was too. It sucks. But I respect how you… READ MORE »


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