Tag Archives: be my boyfriend

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Handcuffed Himself To A Taco Bell Employee He Fancied

Be My BF: Gassy Chef
Congratulations on farting on all of your employees, sexy! Read More »
Be My BF: Mobile Office
He built the most epic mobile office. Read More »
Be My BF: Panty Thief
This man's passion in life is stealing women's underwear. Read More »

Dear Jason Earl Dean,

I understand that this week a judge sentenced you to four years in prison for handcuffing yourself to a woman who wouldn’t go out with you. Apparently, her Taco Bell coworkers heard her screaming, and rushed outside to find you cuffed to this woman. When they approached, you let her go. According to reports, you’d been asking her out for like, a month, so I’m sure it seemed like a perfectly logical thing to do at the time — because life is a Dane Cook rom-com. Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend (Someday): Evan, The 10-Year-Old Cat Lover Who Donates His Allowance To Save Kitties

Dear Evan,

I realize that at 10, you’re a bit too young to actually be my boyfriend. However, I’d just like to give you a shout out, as a fellow cat lover and feline fanatic. In 2009, when you were just seven years old, you donated your entire year’s worth of allowance to help save animals at City Kitties in Philadelphia, and have done so every year since. I understand you’ve now got three cats, and are well on your way to being a bonafide crazy cat person, and I, for one, couldn’t be more thrilled. Keep reading »

Be My BF: Heavy Metal
He gets disability for his heavy metal addiction. Read More »
Be My BF: Gassy Chef
Congratulations on farting on all of your employees, sexy! Read More »
Be My BF: Poem Tattoo
We love his poem tattoo. Read More »

Be My Boyfriend: Florida Man Who Called His Mom For A Ride After Robbing A Store

Be My BF: Gassy Chef
Congratulations on farting on all of your employees, sexy! Read More »
Be My BF: Heavy Metal
He gets disability for his heavy metal addiction. Read More »

Dear Zachariah Dalton,

Most women will tell you that they want a man who’s close to his parents. A man who loves and respects his mother and father and has a good relationship with them. It seems, Zachariah, that you are one of those guys. The other day, when you attempted to rob a Thumbs Up convenience store in Niceville, Florida, you realized that you had no getaway vehicle. And the reason you had no getaway vehicle? It seems you have two prior arrests for driving under the influence.

Perhaps you intended to buy one with your new windfall — only the clerk at Thumbs Up didn’t actually have any money in his cash drawer, so you were left without. I suppose it’s okay, though, because according to the police, you hadn’t really planned to rob the store, you’d only come up with the idea while walking there.

So, no harm, no foul.  Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Chef Who Farted On All Of His Employees And Posted A Craigslist Ad To Announce It

Be My BF Responds!
He responded to Ami and she responded back! Read More »
Be My BF: Heavy Metal
He gets disability for his heavy metal addiction. Read More »
Be My BF: Fart Warning
He was issued a formal warning for his farts. Read More »

Dear Farting Chef,

Food and farts! You sir, know how to make a lady swoon. Farting Chef, your Craigslist ad detailing the achievement of your three-month mission to fart on all 37 of your employees, knocked the wind out of me. I am dying to figure out who you are.

In the ad, you write, “I am a chef, I don’t know if I would call myself world famous, but I am definitely known in and around NYC. I have had several specials on foodnetwork.” Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Received Disability Benefits For His Heavy Metal Addiction

Be My BF: Mullet
His mullet got him kicked out of a bar. Read More »
Be My BF: Poem Tattoo
We love his poem tattoo. Read More »

Dear Roger Tullgren AKA The Guy Who Received Disability Benefits For His Heavy Metal Addiction,

A lot of people claim to lead a heavy metal lifestyle, but as far as I know, you’re the only one who has had three separate psychologists confirm that your obsession with heavy metal is actually a clinical addiction. After you were fired for skipping work to attend metal shows and blasting Black Sabbath all day, you got the Swedish government to help support your lifestyle. How? Well, you described it best: “I signed a form saying: ‘Roger feels compelled to show his heavy metal style. This puts him in a difficult situation on the labor market. Therefore he needs extra financial help.’”

Roger, even though you’re no longer receiving disability benefits, I feel compelled to tell you that I love your heavy metal style. Never change, OK? And if you ever need a date for a hardcore show, I’m pretty sure I have enough black eyeliner for both of us.

XOXO
Winona

[Oddity Central]

Be My Boyfriend: Man Issued Formal Warning For Farting Too Much At Work

Be My BF: Farts
This guy used farts as a weapon. Read More »
Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »
Be My BF: Panty Thief
This man's passion in life is stealing women's underwear. Read More »
Female Farts
Some common types of female farts. Read More »

Dear 38-Year-Old Anonymous Man,

You must be dying of embarrassment right now after receiving a five-page, formal letter of reprimand from your employer accusing you of “uncontrollable flatulence” that is creating an “intolerable” and “hostile” environment for coworkers. OUCH.

Apparently, you told your supervisor that you suffered from “some medical conditions,” but he or she isn’t buying it. Your manager stated that “nothing that you have submitted has indicated that you would have uncontrollable flatulence. It is my belief that you can control this condition.” Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Wore His Entire Wardrobe To The Airport

Be My BF: Tattooed Shoes
Permanent converse? Yes, please! Read More »
Be My BF: 15 Things
This man gets by with only 15 belongings. Read More »
Be My BF: Jet Bike
This guy built a jet engine bike. Read More »

Dear Resourceful Baggage Guy,

I love a man who finds innovative solutions to life’s annoying problems. And your solution to astronomical airline baggage fees was particularly smart: Rather than carry luggage, you wore yours, somehow managing to don more than 70 items of clothing in Guangzhou Baiyun International Airport. Keep reading »

The 15 Best Boyfriends Of 2012

When we say the “best” boyfriends, we mean the worst, or in some cases, the most ridiculous. We’ve rounded up the best of our “Be My Boyfriend” series this year. Really, we’re not planning on dating these guys, but said in the most diplomatic way possible, we marvel at them. These guys exist…

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Answered A Hot Iron Instead Of The Phone

Be My BF: Pillow Fort
He prank called about Tim Tebow from his pillow fort. Read More »
Be My BF: Poem Tattoo
We love his poem tattoo. Read More »
Be My BF: Mullet
His mullet got him kicked out of a bar. Read More »

Dear Tomsaz Tomasz Paczkowski,

First of all, I hope your face is healing. It’s true that no good deed goes unpunished. I know it didn’t work out for you, trying to help your wife with the housework, but you get an A+ for effort. It was seriously sweet that you to offer to do the ironing while watching boxing and drinking a beer, but unless you’re skilled at doing four things at once (I’m not either!), you’re bound to make a mistake, like answering the iron instead of the phone and burning half your face. To make matters worse, when you ran to the bathroom to put cold water on your face, you smacked into the wall and gave yourself a black eye. Keep reading »

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