Posts tagged "be my boyfriend"

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Built An Exact Replica Of The Ghostbusters Car

Dear Guy Who Built An Exact Replica Of The Car From "Ghostbusters," If I were to make a list of traits I find irresistible in a man, it would go something like this: "dark hair, green eyes, great sense of humor, intelligence, kindness, and most importantly, willingness to spend almost $80,000 to turn a 1959…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / May 25, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Took His Zebra (And Parrot) To The Bar

Earlier this week, Iowa man Jerald Reiter was arrested with a zebra and a parrot in his car. But that's not what got him busted. No, it seems Reiter was arrested for driving under the influence and was put in handcuffs in the parking lot of the (wait for it) Dog House Bar. Here's why…

By: Julie Gerstein / May 23, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Got Kicked Out Of A Bar For Eating Salad — In The Bathroom

Dear Dude Who Was Kicked Out Of Manhattan's Blue Ruin Bar For Eating A Salad In The Bathroom, Where have you been all my life? Finally, someone who understands the simple pleasure of eating leafy greens in the serenity of a lavatory. I love to take my salad breaks in the bathtub. Like the bartender…

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / May 18, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Legally Changed His Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex

Dear Guy Who Legally Changed His Name To Tyrannosaurus Rex, Last week you were just a regular 23-year-old guy named Tyler Gold from York, Nebraska. Then you went to court and filed a motion to change your name to Tyrannosaurus Rex, telling a judge you wanted to do it because it was "cooler" than your…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / May 11, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy With Tattooed Shoes

Dear Guy With Permanent Converse, I don't know who you are, but you may be my sole mate. What an innovative idea it was to get shoes tattooed on your feet! Just think, you'll never be refused service at a fast food joint or a gas station ever again. Bonus points for choosing Converse. It…

By: Ami Angelowicz / May 8, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Batman Goatee Guy

Dear Batman Goatee Guy, You are either a really serious Batman fan or have an excellent sense of humor or both. You're handy with a razor and possess the ability to grow thick, lustrous facial hair. I'm not sure what else I could ever want in a man. Do you have a date for the…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / April 30, 2012

Be My Boyfriends: The Guys Who Stole A Penguin From Sea World

You guys like animals, I love animals. You guys like getting drunk, I like getting drunk. It seems like we'd get along. After all, it's not every day that three guys get drunk, break into a Sea World and steal a friggin' penguin. [Daily Mail UK]…

By: Julie Gerstein / April 23, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Monkey Man

Dear Kenichi Ito (aka Monkey Man), I really admire how you've been perfecting different movement styles based on the Patas monkey of Africa. For the record, I don't think you look like a monkey. I'm sorry that you were teased as a child. I was too. It sucks. But I respect how you turned your…

By: Ami Angelowicz / April 21, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Customized Whopper With 1,050 Strips of Bacon

At Burger King, you can "have it your way." And one Japanese guy really took that to heart, by customizing his burger with more than 1,000 pieces of bacon. My very special next boyfriend candidate likes bacon so much that he had the fryolater workers at his fave fast food joint add 1,050 slabs to…

By: Julie Gerstein / April 20, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Committed 10 Felonies In 9 Hours

Dear William Todd, Color me impressed! There are career criminals that don't accomplish in a lifetime what you did in nine hours: committing 10 felonies. Not only did you steal a taser, revolver and shotgun (and a T-shirt!) from Nashville bar The Slaughterhouse, but you then burned the business to the ground! And because you are…

By: Julie Gerstein / April 12, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Drunk Guy Who Sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” In The Back Of The Cop Car

Dear Robert Wilkinson (aka drunk guy who sang "Bohemian Rhapsody" to a cop), Hello. Nice to meet you. Queen is also my favorite band, although I prefer "Fat Bottomed Girls" or "Somebody to Love." Sometimes when the world feels overwhelming and I don't know what to do, I sing Queen. There's something soothing about  singing…

By: Ami Angelowicz / March 30, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Oetzi The Ancient Iceman

Dear Oetzi AKA The Ancient Iceman, I just saw a picture of you and damn, with a beard like that all you need is a jaunty newsboy cap and you could easily find work as a Stumptown barista. Scientists have analyzed your genome and just discovered that you were lactose intolerant (only soy lattes for…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / February 29, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Ernie “The Turtleman” Brown Jr., of “Call of the Wildman”

Hi, My name is Julie and I'm a Turtleman-a-holic. I've just spent the last three hours watching Animal Planet's "Call of the Wildman," and I am hooked. The show follows "The Turtleman" Ernie Brown Jr., a middle-aged guy who lives with his mom and spends his days rooting out wild animals from his friends' and…

By: Julie Gerstein / February 21, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Stole $25,000 Worth Of Tide Detergent

Dear Guy Who Stole $25,000 Worth Of Tide Detergent, OK, you've got my attention. Let's talk. You went to the store and walked out with a pilfered cartload of Tide detergent every day for a month, eventually amassing enough laundry soap to wash more than 82,500 loads of laundry. The cops are baffled, but it…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / February 15, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Built A Jet Engine Bike

Dear Richard Brown, aka The Guy Who Built A Jet Engine Bike, I can tell that you're ambitious, based on your plans to break the land speed motorbike record. I can tell that you're audacious, based on your idea to power your bike with a converted helicopter engine. I can tell that you're brave, based…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / February 8, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Made The World’s Largest Gumball Out Of ABC Nicorette

Look at what we got here. This fine gentleman, 50-year-old Barry Chappell, has been collecting more than 95,000 pieces of already been chewed Nicorette gum for the last six years and fashioning them into one giant gumball. He keeps this 175 pound nicotine blob in his sauna, where the gum stays moist and supple for…

By: Ami Angelowicz / January 28, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Beach Runner

So, I think I've discovered my new running/life partner. If he'll have me, this may be "the one" who could make long jogs on the beach seem appealing to me. I want him to teach me everything he knows about jogging and life and love. That being said, I refuse to wear his/hers matching rainbow…

By: Ami Angelowicz / January 23, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Fungus Guy

Dear Nicholas Money, AKA The Fungus Guy Who Was Recently Profiled By NPR, My parents used to run with a pretty wild crowd of biologists, all of whom were passionate about their subjects, but it seems the botanists were especially zealous. In fact, one of their friends legally changed his last name to Lichen to…

By: Winona Dimeo-Ediger / January 19, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Got Arrested For Playing Too Much Cowbell

Dear anonymous guy who was arrested for playing too much cowbell during this week's demonstrations against Wisconsin governor Scott Walker, The cowbell, she is a seductive beast, isn't she? The lure of her timber can prove too strong for some, and nay, you found yourself driven to her lusty charms over and over again. Actually,…

By: Julie Gerstein / January 18, 2012

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Only Owns 15 Things

There's nothing quite as sexy as a guy who knows what's important in life; people not things. He's not homeless, he's a gainfully employed dude famous for his devout minimalism. Andrew Hyde a technology consultant, started his quest to simplify his life by challenging himself  to make due with only 100 possessions (socks and underwear…

By: Ami Angelowicz / January 17, 2012
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