We consider ourselves experts when it comes to bizarre stories about chicken wing thieves and raccoon-loving hillbillies. Which is why it made perfect sense that we’d create a weird news Mad Libs form, based on our experience fielding crazy stories from Florida, Texas and beyond. We hope you enjoy giving our Mad Libs a whirl — we played in the office, and you can check out our version after the jump! Click through some of our favorite Be My Boyfriends for inspiration, if ya want… Keep reading »
Dear Guy Who Built an Adult-Sized Big Wheel Bike,
I’m a kid at heart. You’re obviously a kid at heart, too. Let’s go ride (big wheel) bikes together.
Dear Bob Baker,
Congrats on your new tattoo! It looks like it’s healing really nicely. I’m sure you’re getting a lot of attention for it right now. Not necessarily for getting a tattoo of your wife in a bikini and high heels pushing a lawnmower on your bald spot that people are calling “wicked,” but for being a 68-year-old man with a 28-year-old wife. Eh, if Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison can get hitched, so can you and your wife, Kelly. You’ve been together for nine years now, married for three. You’ve got nothing to prove. Although your two grown daughters, who are respectively 10 and 16 years older than your wife, may not feel the same way about the relationship. Keep reading »
Dear Alligator Enthusiast Rick Myers,
It seems like your two favorite things are alligators and drugs, and though I’m not a fan of either of those things, really, I admire your desire to combine the two into one event. From what I understand, you were wandering around with four of your friends in Little Big Econ State Forest near Oviedo, Florida, looking for some psychotropic drugs. Police followed you in, and arrested you and four of your friends for possession of mushrooms, weed and an alligator, which you had spirited away in a backpack. The alligator was around two feet long, and wrapped in a (very big?) bandanna. I guess it’s illegal to possess an alligator without a permit, so the cops released it into the swamps, after it had been “revived a little bit.” Keep reading »
I’m vegan, but even I can appreciate a man who appreciates seafood. A guy like Dave Subil, who spirited away with more than $60,000 in seafood supplies. Subil pretended to be in charge of acquiring a bunch of the fishy stuff from a wholesale vendor, and purchased the shrimp and fish with counterfeit checks. The Florida man (of course) now faces six counts of wire fraud and two counts of organized schemes to defraud. Schemes! Keep reading »