Posts tagged "be my boyfriend"

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Got This Poem Tattooed On His Shoulder

Dear Tattooed Poet,
You got the following poem tattooed on your shoulder: “Roses are red/ My name is Dave/ This poem makes no sense/ Microwave.” Obviously you have a way…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | September 21, 2012 - 8:30 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Called 911 Twice To Report His Dream

Dear Mark Welch,

I would like to start by saying that even if no one else does, I believe you. I’ve had that happen to me before –…

Ami Angelowicz | September 7, 2012 - 9:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Russian Pasta Artist

Dear Sergey Pakhomov aka The Pasta Artist,
Six years ago you were working on an ad campaign for a Russian macaroni company and were struck by divine inspiration: what if…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | September 6, 2012 - 9:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Old School Will Ferrell, When He Wore Just White Undies And Swimming Goggles

Modern day Will Ferrell seems like a total blast, but college era Will Ferrell appears to have been a stone cold foxy frat boy the likes of which he would…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | August 29, 2012 - 9:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Skateboard Rabbi (On Drugs) On “The Price Is Right”

Josh Androsky is a skateboarding rabbi who decided to take some mushrooms and get a little bit wasted before attending a taping of long-running game show “The Price is Right.”…

Julie Gerstein | August 23, 2012 - 11:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Drunk Tourist Who Took A Nap On The Baggage Conveyor Belt

Dear Drunk Tourist,
You sauntered up to the Rome airport’s international terminal with a backpack and a can of beer, ready to check in for your flight. When no one…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | August 16, 2012 - 3:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Wants A Hawk At His 30th Birthday Party

I saw this Craigslist ad looking for a falconer to bring “an aggressive flying killing machine” to a 30th birthday posted on Facebook. I’m not sure if it’s for a…

Jessica Wakeman | July 27, 2012 - 4:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Arrested For Giving Cop Tacos

Oh darling Matthew Falkner of Palm City, Florida (always, always Florida), you and I are soulmates. After all, you were arrested in the parking lot of a Taco Bell, after…

Julie Gerstein | July 26, 2012 - 11:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Sings Lullabies To Polar Bears

Dear Russian Bear Patrol Officer Vladilen Kavriy Who Sings Lullabies To Polar Bears,

First of all, can we talk about how rad it is that your job title is…

Jessica Wakeman | July 18, 2012 - 1:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Selling A Live, Baby Shark On The NYC Subway

Dear Shark Man,

Is it OK if I call you that? I don’t know your name. But I wish I did. I have seen a lot of things…

Ami Angelowicz | July 13, 2012 - 4:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy On A Cathedral Licking Tour

Dear Lawrence Edmonds,

From one person who can’t resist a dare to another, I bow down to you for taking this one on. Licking 62 Anglican Cathedrals in…

Ami Angelowicz | July 7, 2012 - 2:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Sings “Kiss From A Rose” To His Cat

Dear Guy Who Sings “Kiss From A Rose” To His Cat,
Not all of us can hit a high note. Hell, not all of us can hit any notes. But…

Jessica Wakeman | July 6, 2012 - 1:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Used Farts As A Weapon

It’s not often that I’m impressed by a man’s physical abilities. But Guy Who Farted So Loud Your Neighbor Pulled A Gun On You, you, my friend, have some major…

Julie Gerstein | June 27, 2012 - 12:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Tim Tebow Prank Caller Who Lives In A Pillow Fort

Dear Jason Slater,
May I start off by saying that one of the most attractive qualities a potential boyfriend can have is a sense of playfulness. And you, my friend,…

Ami Angelowicz | June 20, 2012 - 11:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Crashed A Church Dressed As The Devil

Dear Devil Impersonator,
They have not revealed your identity, but aren’t you quite the little shit starter. I wonder what gave you the idea to put on a devil costume

Ami Angelowicz | June 15, 2012 - 1:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Most Misogynist Tree Removal Guy

You had me at, “I don’t take no orders from no woman.”
Meet Ihor Stetkewycz, the man of my dreams — a tree removal guy who pissed off Detroit-area residents…

Julie Gerstein | June 14, 2012 - 12:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Tried To Take Kitten To A Strip Club

Insert your favorite pussy joke here: A guy in — where else? — Florida, was arrested after he tried to take his kitten into a strip club and was denied…

Julie Gerstein | June 12, 2012 - 2:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Toothpick Caper

Dear Unidentified Man Who Stole 400,000 Toothpicks,

Let me start by saying that I do not condone theft. But I will say, your crime intrigues me. I am…

Ami Angelowicz | June 12, 2012 - 10:40 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Filled His House With Mammoth Bones

Dear Guy Who Filled His House With Mammoth Bones,
Two years ago, when you found your first woolly mammoth bone in your Iowa backyard, you reacted like most people would,…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | June 8, 2012 - 10:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Turned His Dead Cat Into A Helicopter

Artist Burt Jansen was bummed when his cat Orville was killed by a car, but he also saw his pet’s death as an artistic opportunity — turning lemons into lemonade,…

Julie Gerstein | June 4, 2012 - 10:40 am