Dear Eric (or do you prefer to be called “Mean Melin”?),
I just watched your performance at the 2013 Air Guitar World Championships in Finland, and all I can say is: wow. You’ve got some serious moves, dude. Everyone knows that dating a musician is the worst, but since your instrument is imaginary, I think you might be an exception to the rule. I play a pretty fierce air saxophone, if I do say so myself. Maybe we can jam sometime and see where this goes?
[YouTube via Laughing Squid]
I watched the inspirational and well-soundtracked speech you gave to the incoming class of engineering students at Georgia Tech, and I was inspired! No, I’ll never build an “Iron Man” suit, and I’ll likely never attend the Georgia Tech engineering program, because, well, math. But your speech was so powerful — especially the part where you said “If you wanna play theme music during your convocation speech like a badass, you can do that! I … am … doing … that!” – that I now feel prepared to take on a new challenge: making you my boyfriend so hard. Keep reading »
We consider ourselves experts when it comes to bizarre stories about chicken wing thieves and raccoon-loving hillbillies. Which is why it made perfect sense that we’d create a weird news Mad Libs form, based on our experience fielding crazy stories from Florida, Texas and beyond. We hope you enjoy giving our Mad Libs a whirl — we played in the office, and you can check out our version after the jump! Click through some of our favorite Be My Boyfriends for inspiration, if ya want… Keep reading »
Dear Guy Who Built an Adult-Sized Big Wheel Bike,
I’m a kid at heart. You’re obviously a kid at heart, too. Let’s go ride (big wheel) bikes together.
Dear Bob Baker,
Congrats on your new tattoo! It looks like it’s healing really nicely. I’m sure you’re getting a lot of attention for it right now. Not necessarily for getting a tattoo of your wife in a bikini and high heels pushing a lawnmower on your bald spot that people are calling “wicked,” but for being a 68-year-old man with a 28-year-old wife. Eh, if Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison can get hitched, so can you and your wife, Kelly. You’ve been together for nine years now, married for three. You’ve got nothing to prove. Although your two grown daughters, who are respectively 10 and 16 years older than your wife, may not feel the same way about the relationship. Keep reading »