be my boyfriend - Page 4

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Called 911 To Complain About His Mom

Dear Vincent Valvo, AKA The Guy Who Called 911 To Complain About His Mom,

Man, moms can be so annoying, can’t they? Mine used to try to get…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | April 18, 2013 - 9:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who’s Been Wearing A Deer Head For 4 Years

Dear Luo Dan,

I want to tell you that I’m feeling you wearing this deer head mask every day for the last four years. You started wearing it…

Ami Angelowicz | April 12, 2013 - 2:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Eric Ducharme, Real-Life Merman Of Florida

Der Eric Ducharme, Merman,

I believe that when you find the thing you love, you should hang on and never let go. In your case, the thing you…

Julie Gerstein | April 3, 2013 - 1:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Brian Manowitz, The Vegan Lasagna-Making Black Metal Chef

Dear vegan black metal chef Brian Manowitz,

I think we’d totally get along. After all, we both worship seitan (GET IT?) and enjoy face makeup and browning things…

Julie Gerstein | April 1, 2013 - 1:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Stole 42,000 Pounds Of Cheese

Dear Veniamin Balika,

Let me preface this love letter by saying that I understand that stealing is wrong and don’t condone it. But I can’t help but be…

Ami Angelowicz | March 29, 2013 - 1:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Was Fined $2,000 For Playing Celine Dion Songs Too Loud

Dear Jacek Korolko AKA The Guy Who Was Fined For Blasting Celine Dion Songs,

My love for Celine Dion is well documented, but it’s tough for me to…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | March 25, 2013 - 4:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Would Rather Die Than Offend His Hot Airplane Seat Mate

Dear Anonymous,

I don’t know your name, but I commend you for your effort to be the best airplane seat mate ever. Sure, you took it a bit…

Ami Angelowicz | March 14, 2013 - 12:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Suing His Parents For Not Loving Him Enough

Dear Bernard Anderson Bey,

As a 32-year-old homeless man, I think you’ve sensed that it’s time to take stock of your life, take responsibility for your actions and…

Ami Angelowicz | February 26, 2013 - 12:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Rutherford Chang Has Nearly 700 Copies Of The Beatles’ The White Album

Dear Rutherford,

I heard you’re a Beatles fan, which is great. I mean, I guess that takes care of that difficult “are you a Beatles or a Rolling…

Julie Gerstein | February 19, 2013 - 2:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Klingon Sword-Wielding Floridian Johnnie Blade

Dear Johnnie Blade,

First of all, your parents clearly knew you were destined for greatness, because they gave you a name that could only befit a future porn…

Amelia McDonell-Parry | February 14, 2013 - 1:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend Weekend Party Round Up: Sex With Horses, The Peanut Butter Solution, A Freestyle Rap Defense — And More!

Remember that dream you had in middle school to have the coolest boyfriend ever? Well guess what? These guys are all up for grabs. So girls, don’t fight (it’s not…

Julie Gerstein | February 8, 2013 - 12:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Tried To Hide The Fact The He’s “The Sun”

Dear Brett Eric Drachenburg aka “The Sun,”

If were sitting in the same room right now, I would be giving you a slow clap. From a safe distance,…

Ami Angelowicz | February 7, 2013 - 5:00 pm
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