Dear guy who tried to buy a microwave and vacuum at Wal-Mart with a $1 million bill,
Based on your shopping list, I can see you appreciate cleanliness and efficiency–you want to defrost your chicken breasts in 3 minutes and keep your carpets dustmite-free. That’s commendable. But it was the way tried to pay for these products that really has me intrigued. You handed that Wal-Mart cashier a $1 million dollar bill and waited patiently for your change. This shows me ingenuity, boldness, and, dare I say it: patriotism. Because in these uncertain financial times, your desire to stimulate the economy and your unwavering faith in the value of a dollar is downright inspiring. It makes me want to pledge allegiance to the American flag that waves proudly in the Arkansas breeze at Wal-Mart corporate headquarters.
And as soon as I’m done drawing up this $1 billion dollar bill, baby, I’m taking us to Red Lobster. [CNET]
I would like to take a moment to express my admiration for 28-year-old Colin Hagendorf, the dude who ate slices of cheese from 362 Manhattan pizza joints and blogged about each and every one. Even after his daunting endeavor to do a thorough taste investigation of the state of affairs of the NYC pizza scene (he says that seven out of 10 places serve sucky slices), he’s still down to eat more. “I still love eating pizza, but I just got sick of writing about pizza … I will always eat pizza. There’s nothing better for lunch or dinner … I eat pizza. That’s what I do,” Colin says. The dedication. The passion. The stomach of steel. My kind of man. We could eat slices together forever and ever. Colin, meet me at Ginos Pizza and we will see if that sauce is really as “delicate” as you say. [NY Daily News]
First off, how was your Thanksgiving? Mine was pretty great. Over the holiday weekend, I spent some quality time catching up on episodes of my fave TV shows that I managed to miss, including “My Strange Addiction.” And that’s how I came to know you and decided that you would make a great boyfriend for me. You’re addicted to pulling hair out of shower drains. I have a lot of hair in my shower drain that needs to be pulled out. See? We already have so much in common. Keep reading »
Meth, it’s a hell of drug. In the case of meth user and potential new boyfriend candidate Henry Arnibal, the drug caused him to kill, skin and eat a bobcat. It’s unclear whether Arnibal actually bothered cooking the bobcat meat before eating it (who has the time, really, when you’re busy doing meth?), but it’s believed that he was driven to kill the animal after it attacked and killed several of Arnibal’s roosters. It’s technically not illegal to eat a bobcat, but it is illegal to kill a bobcat without a permit. Arnibal was arrested for that, as well as — surprise surprise — drug possession. [Huffington Post]
Dear guy holding this purrrrfectly wonderful sign featuring a fluffy Persian cat without health insurance,
I know we already agree on two things: Politics and kittttttttehs. Let’s date.
Dear Banana Sweater Boyfriend,
Look, I already know we’re going to get along. After all, we both like garish Cosby sweaters, and bananas. What more do you need to form the basis to a solid relationship?
[$284, Perks and Mini] Keep reading »