Posts tagged "be my boyfriend"

Be My Soulmate: Man Who Was Diagnosed With “Chronic, Incurable Lateness”

Dear Jim Dunbar,

For your entire life, you’ve never been able to make it to anything on time. Your lack of punctuality has caused you to miss appointments…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | September 1, 2013 - 3:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Steak Thief Who Dressed In A Cow Onesie

Dear Steak Thief,

I don’t condone stealing, really I don’t. But the fact that you dressed up in a cow-printed onesie while stealing porterhouse from the meat aisle…

Ami Angelowicz | August 31, 2013 - 3:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Eric “Mean Melin” Melin, 2013 Air Guitar World Champion

Dear Eric (or do you prefer to be called “Mean Melin”?),
I just watched your performance at the 2013 Air Guitar World Championships in Finland, and all I can say…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | August 28, 2013 - 9:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Engineering Student Nick Selby Crushes Georgia Tech Convocation — And Our Hearts

Dear Nick,

I watched the inspirational and well-soundtracked speech you gave to the incoming class of engineering students at Georgia Tech, and I was inspired! No, I’ll never…

Julie Gerstein | August 21, 2013 - 9:20 am

Weird News Mad Libs, For Your Own Weird News Stories

We consider ourselves experts when it comes to bizarre stories about chicken wing thieves and raccoon-loving hillbillies. Which is why it made perfect sense that we’d create a…

Julie Gerstein | August 16, 2013 - 4:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Built An Adult-Sized Big Wheel Bike

Dear Guy Who Built an Adult-Sized Big Wheel Bike,
I’m a kid at heart. You’re obviously a kid at heart, too. Let’s go ride (big wheel) bikes together.

Julie Gerstein | August 10, 2013 - 2:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: The Frequently Startled French Cook

Dear Frequently Started French Cook,
When I watched this video, I was instantly attracted to you for two reasons, the first being that you are a French cook (hello, that’s…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | July 9, 2013 - 11:40 am

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Got A Tattoo Of His Wife On His Bald Spot

Dear Bob Baker,

Congrats on your new tattoo! It looks like it’s healing really nicely. I’m sure you’re getting a lot of attention for it right now. Not…

Ami Angelowicz | June 17, 2013 - 3:30 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Rick Myers, Psychotropic Mushroom & Alligator Enthusiast

Dear Alligator Enthusiast Rick Myers,

It seems like your two favorite things are alligators and drugs, and though I’m not a fan of either of those things, really,…

Julie Gerstein | June 14, 2013 - 11:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Stole $200,000 In Seafood

I’m vegan, but even I can appreciate a man who appreciates seafood. A guy like Dave Subil, who spirited away with more than $60,000 in seafood supplies. Subil pretended to…

Julie Gerstein | June 7, 2013 - 11:40 am

Be My Boyfriend: The Treadmill Dancer

Dear Treadmill Dancer,
Do you know how hard it is to find a man who loves to dance? Who is also in excellent aerobic condition? And who seems to have…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | May 8, 2013 - 2:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: WoW Gamer Goes From Virtual Blacksmith To Real Life One

Dear Richard Oldham,

I understand that you really like World of Warcraft, the popular interactive video game. In the game, you forged a career as a blacksmith, turning…

Julie Gerstein | May 5, 2013 - 3:00 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Dialed 911 Looking For Kool-Aid & Weed

Dear Jarvis Sutton,

Are you my soulmate? I think you might be, because it’s pretty clear you appreciate Kool-Aid almost as much as I do. I love the…

Julie Gerstein | May 2, 2013 - 1:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: The Beautiful Minds Behind Beloved Shirts

An incredible thing happened to me on Sunday night: I saw God for the very first time. Or, you know, this Oprah face sweatshirt, but it’s the exact same thing.

Rachel Krause | April 23, 2013 - 12:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Was Keeping 53 King Cobras In His Car

Dear Guy Who Was Arrested For Driving Around With 53 King Cobras In His Car,
No woman can resist a guy who lives a rock n’ roll lifestyle. In fact,…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | April 22, 2013 - 4:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Got Arrested For Taking Too Many Free Samples At Cub Foods

Dear Erwin Lingitz,

I think it was wrong that you got arrested for taking too many free samples from your local Cub Foods. They are FREE SAMPLES for…

Ami Angelowicz | April 18, 2013 - 2:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Called 911 To Complain About His Mom

Dear Vincent Valvo, AKA The Guy Who Called 911 To Complain About His Mom,
Man, moms can be so annoying, can’t they? Mine used to try to get me to…

Winona Dimeo-Ediger | April 18, 2013 - 9:20 am

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who’s Been Wearing A Deer Head For 4 Years

Dear Luo Dan,

I want to tell you that I’m feeling you wearing this deer head mask every day for the last four years. You started wearing it…

Ami Angelowicz | April 12, 2013 - 2:20 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Eric Ducharme, Real-Life Merman Of Florida

Der Eric Ducharme, Merman,

I believe that when you find the thing you love, you should hang on and never let go. In your case, the thing you…

Julie Gerstein | April 3, 2013 - 1:40 pm

Be My Boyfriend: Brian Manowitz, The Vegan Lasagna-Making Black Metal Chef

Dear vegan black metal chef Brian Manowitz,

I think we’d totally get along. After all, we both worship seitan (GET IT?) and enjoy face makeup and browning things…

Julie Gerstein | April 1, 2013 - 1:20 pm
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