Tag Archives: be my boyfriend

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Got A Tattoo Of His Wife On His Bald Spot

Ami Angelowicz11 hours ago //

This man dialed 911 looking for weed. Of course. Read More »

Be My BF: Klingon Sword

Johnnie Blade wielded a Klingon sword. Read More »

Be My BF: Tattooed Shoes

Permanent converse? Yes, please! Read More »

Be My Boyfriend

Dear Bob Baker,

Congrats on your new tattoo! It looks like it’s healing really nicely. I’m sure you’re getting a lot of attention for it right now. Not necessarily for getting a tattoo of your wife in a bikini and high heels pushing a lawnmower on your bald spot that people are calling “wicked,” but for being a 68-year-old man with a 28-year-old wife. Eh, if Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison can get hitched, so can you and your wife, Kelly. You’ve been together for nine years now, married for three. You’ve got nothing to prove. Although your two grown daughters, who are respectively 10 and 16 years older than your wife, may not feel the same way about the relationship. Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Rick Myers, Psychotropic Mushroom & Alligator Enthusiast

Julie GersteinJune 14, 2013 //

Be My BF: Mom Complaint

He called 911 to complain about his mother. Read More »

Be My BF: Pasta Artist

He makes art ... from pasta. Read More »

Be My BF: Panty Thief

This man's passion in life is stealing women's underwear. Read More »

BE MY BOYFRIEND

Dear Alligator Enthusiast Rick Myers,

It seems like your two favorite things are alligators and drugs, and though I’m not a fan of either of those things, really, I admire your desire to combine the two into one event. From what I understand, you were wandering around with four of your friends in Little Big Econ State Forest near Oviedo, Florida, looking for some psychotropic drugs. Police followed you in, and arrested you and four of your friends for possession of mushrooms, weed and an alligator, which you had spirited away in a backpack. The alligator was around two feet long, and wrapped in a (very big?) bandanna. I guess it’s illegal to possess an alligator without a permit, so the cops released it into the swamps, after it had been “revived a little bit.” Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Stole $200,000 In Seafood

Julie GersteinJune 7, 2013 //

Be My BFs: Chicken

These guys stole $65K in chicken wings. Read More »

Be My BF: Cheese Thief

Share your muenster with me, man! Read More »

Be my bf: free samples

This guy got arrested for overdoing it on free samples. Read More »

BE MY BOYFRIEND

I’m vegan, but even I can appreciate a man who appreciates seafood. A guy like Dave Subil, who spirited away with more than $60,000 in seafood supplies. Subil pretended to be in charge of acquiring a bunch of the fishy stuff from a wholesale vendor, and purchased the shrimp and fish with counterfeit checks. The Florida man (of course) now faces six counts of wire fraud and two counts of organized schemes to defraud. Schemes! Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: The Treadmill Dancer

Winona Dimeo-EdigerMay 8, 2013 //

People At The Gym

In GIFs! Read More »

Types Of Dancers

You'll always see these people shakin' it at the club. Read More »

Gym Hookups

Gym sex is a problem. Read More »

Hold me closer, treadmill dancer!

Dear Treadmill Dancer,

Do you know how hard it is to find a man who loves to dance? Who is also in excellent aerobic condition? And who seems to have absolutely no inhibitions? You are truly the whole package. Maybe someday we can choreograph a couple’s dance on a pair of side-by-side treadmills. I’ve gotta start practicing. See you at the gym!

Xoxo
Winona

[YouTube via Laughing Squid]

Be My Boyfriend: WoW Gamer Goes From Virtual Blacksmith To Real Life One

Julie GersteinMay 5, 2013 //

Be my bf: deer head

He's been wearing this deer head for FOUR YEARS. Read More »

Be My BF: Klingon Sword

Johnnie Blade wielded a Klingon sword. Read More »

Be My BF: Logo Head

He sells ad space on his head. Watch »

BE MY BOYFRIEND

Dear Richard Oldham,

I understand that you really like World of Warcraft, the popular interactive video game. In the game, you forged a career as a blacksmith, turning not-real metals into not-real weapons. Few people take their online avatars and turn them into real careers, but most people aren’t you, Rich. Also, I suppose it’s easier to become a blacksmith than, say, a wizard or a warlock, right? Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Dialed 911 Looking For Kool-Aid & Weed

Julie GersteinMay 2, 2013 //

Be My Boyfriend: Batman Goatee

This guy wears the bat signal on his face! Read More »

Be My Boyfriend: Gum Guy

He made the world's largest gumball out of Nicorette. Read More »

Be My Boyfriend: Meth Guy

He ate a bobcat while on meth, so what? Read More »

Be My Boyfriend

Dear Jarvis Sutton,

Are you my soulmate? I think you might be, because it’s pretty clear you appreciate Kool-Aid almost as much as I do. I love the Kool-Aid man so much, especially when he comes crashing through a wall screaming his signature catch phrase, “Oh yeah!” in his creepy smoker’s voice.

Or maybe there’s another reason you dialed 911 eighty times to request a home delivery of Kool-Aid, hamburgers and weed. When St. Petersburg, Florida, police arrested you for misusing the 911 system, you were apparently so hungry that you tried eating the foam attached to the metal cage in the back of the police car. I understand that you are still in jail at the moment, unable to make the $150 bond. I would bail you out, but I was planning on using that money for a mammoth Kool-Aid run at Costco, so… Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: The Beautiful Minds Behind Beloved Shirts

Rachel KrauseApril 23, 2013 //

BE MY BOYFRIEND

View the Gallery / 8 Photos »

The One That Started It All

Forget Jesus, check out this Oprah face sweatshirt. Read More »

An incredible thing happened to me on Sunday night: I saw God for the very first time. Or, you know, this Oprah face sweatshirt, but it’s the exact same thing. I texted Julie immediately to make her aware of my intentions to purchase two (one for each of us, naturally) so that we might match, and never wear any other shirt ever again in our lives. She took it one step further and pointed me in the direction of the sweatshirt’s source, a Utah-based company called Beloved Shirts. Man, if you thought that Oprah sweatshirt was great (and I did, obviously), check out all these other ones!

I’m not entirely sure who is behind Beloved, or if they would like to date me, but I’m putting it out there that I would definitely like to date them. On the off chance that they don’t want to date me, which would be weird, I guess I could settle for them sending me one of their beautiful creations. Please take a look at some of my choicest favorites in this gallery, and keep in mind that I would happily accept every single one, though I am most emotionally invested in the Step Brothers sweatshirt (shown), and am also pretty loose about giving out my address to strangers. Only in the name of perfect sweatshirts, of course. [Beloved]

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Was Keeping 53 King Cobras In His Car

Winona Dimeo-EdigerApril 22, 2013 //

Be My BF: Turtleman

Why Julie loves the "Call of the Wildman" star. Read More »

Be my bf: free samples

This guy got arrested for overdoing it on free samples. Read More »

Be my bf: deer head

He's been wearing this deer head for FOUR YEARS. Read More »

Wanna go for a ride?

Dear Guy Who Was Arrested For Driving Around With 53 King Cobras In His Car,

No woman can resist a guy who lives a rock n’ roll lifestyle. In fact, I’ve previously written a love letter to a guy who was so obsessed with heavy metal that he was forced to quit his job and receive disability benefits. I thought that dude was hardcore, but daaaaaamn, your badass ways make him seem like a fluffy, cuddly kitten in comparison: you were recently arrested in Vietnam for driving around with 53 king cobras in your car. I’m terrified by this story. And also intrigued. Let’s grab a bite to eat and talk about your rock n’ roll lifestyle. We’ll take my car.

Xoxo,
Winona

[Huffington Post]

Be My Boyfriend: Man Who Got Arrested For Taking Too Many Free Samples At Cub Foods

Ami AngelowiczApril 18, 2013 //

Be My BF: Mom Complaint

He called 911 to complain about his mother. Read More »

Be my BF: Deer Head

He's been wearing a deer head for four years. Read More »

Be My BF: Cheese Thief

Share your muenster with me, man! Read More »

Be My BF

Dear Erwin Lingitz,

I think it was wrong that you got arrested for taking too many free samples from your local Cub Foods. They are FREE SAMPLES for godssakes! It’s not like you stole food. If you want to ravage a lunch meat sample tray, fill a produce bag with 20 cookies from the kids cookie club tray, stuff 16 packets of soy sauce, a half-pound of summer sausage and a pound of beef sticks in your pockets, GO FOR IT. If Cub Foods wants to get all high and mighty about how you violated “societal norms” by taking too many of their free samples, fuck them. They shouldn’t have left all that salami out if they didn’t want it stuffed in a customer’s pocket. I hope you sue them for encouraging you to take free samples and then punishing you for it. Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Called 911 To Complain About His Mom

Winona Dimeo-EdigerApril 18, 2013 //

Be My BF: Cheese Thief

Share your muenster with me, man! Read More »

Be My BF: Suing Parents

He's suing his parents for not loving him enough. Read More »

Worst Mothers

These mothers tried to sell their babies. 10 Photos »

"My mom's being annoying."

Dear Vincent Valvo, AKA The Guy Who Called 911 To Complain About His Mom,

Man, moms can be so annoying, can’t they? Mine used to try to get me to go to bed at 9:30 p.m. when I was a sophomore in high school! Ridiculous, right? And your mom sounds like a real ball-buster, or at least I’m assuming she is, because you called 911 not once, but twice in one night to complain that you “didn’t like the way she was talking to you.”

You were arrested after making the second call, but if you ever want someone to vent to in the future, you can give me a ring!

Xoxo,
Winona

[Neatorama]