Tag Archives: bdsm

Today’s Lady News: “In The Bedroom, Inequality Beats Equality”

Jessica WakemanApril 11, 2011 //
  • “Men are aroused by being dominant and by submissive women, women are aroused by being submissive and by dominant men,” writes Ogi Ogas, Ph.D. in Psychology Today. “In the bedroom, inequality beats equality.” Those broad sweeping statements are fighting words, PT! Speaking strictly for myself, I agree with Ogi. But I wonder if other folks find this blanket statement about bedroom dynamics to ring true. Read the blog post and let me know in the comments. [Psychology Today]
  • Indiana lawmakers are toiling away at anti-abortion legislation which would require women to be told in writing that abortion could increase their chances of infertility and breast cancer, despite the fact that is medically false. Here, read the National Cancer Institute article about how the abortion/breast cancer link does not exist. And lawmakers are trying to legislate that scare tactic? SERIOUSLY, people?! [IndyStar.com]
  • A transgender woman named Brittany Novotny was elected president of Young Democrats of Oklahoma this weekend. Last year, Brittany challenged a homophobic politician for a seat in the state’s House of Representatives. Although Brittany didn’t win the election, she did win almost 35 percent of the vote. [Advocate]
  • Anyone else think far too much of “Saturday Night Live” this weekend was about Helen Mirren’s hot body? [TV Squad]

Keep reading »

Rihanna Loves A Good Spanking

Jessica WakemanMarch 30, 2011 //
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Doin' It With Dr. V explains how to spank and be spanked! Read More »

“Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your s**t. That’s fun to me … I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned — you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.”

— Rihanna may sing in “S&M” that “chains and whips excite me,” but IRL the girl just loves a good old-fashioned spanking. Hawt. [Rolling Stone] Keep reading »

Rihanna Spanks Perez Hilton In Her New Video For “S&M”

Jessica WakemanFebruary 1, 2011 //


You don’t have to love S&M to love Rihanna‘s new music video for “S&M,” but it certainly helps! The pop princess’ ode to bondage, dominance and sadomasochism features bondage gear, pink latex, ball gags, and leather switches, and stars gossip blogger Perez Hilton lead around on a leash. (And yes, the fact that Perez Hilton gets a spanking in a video that arouses me is making my head explode.) The costumes, hair and makeup in “S&M” are incredible and it’s by far the sexiest “sexy” music video Rihanna’s ever put out. Obviously, Amelia wants me to get nothing accomplished for the rest of the day, so I’ll just … hit replay … and be .. right … back …. [Vevo via Popdust] Keep reading »

Frisky Q & A: Melissa Febos, Ex-Dominatrix And Author Of “Whip Smart: A Memoir”

Jessica WakemanApril 21, 2010 //

A dominatrix: all of us know what one is. But let’s be honest: few of us actually know a woman who earns her living as one (that we’re aware of, anyway). But you’ll become, ahem, intimately familiar with one after reading the recently published book, Whip Smart: A Memoir, by Melissa Febos.

Febos, who nowadays teaches writing and literature at SUNY Purchase College in New York, was just a college student looking to earn extra cash at a Manhattan dungeon. But surprisingly, something about domme-ing men for money appealed to her. Febos — who was also busy acquiring, and then kicking, a heroin addiction — spat, spanked and insulted her way through clients for a whole four years before she left the dominatrix life for good.

I spoke with Febos about what initially drew her to sex work, how she broke the news to mom and dad that she was a dominatrix (yes, they knew!), and what she did with all those kinky clothes when she finally hung up her whip. Keep reading »

Why Do Strong Women Like To Be Dominated?

Jessica WakemanMay 29, 2009 //

Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her own house and car, and she’s not intimidated by any man for any reason. She’s smart, independent and strong.

Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being dominated?

Actually, researchers say, it makes perfect sense. Keep reading »

Doin’ It With Dr. V: Spanking

Dr. VJanuary 9, 2009 //

Hi, I’m Dr. V. I’m not a real doctor, I just play one on the Internet. What I am is a lady, a lady who is a fool for love! And I love nothing more than sex. My deepest desires have happily led me on many adventures in the sack, but they have also, sadly, made me one of my gyno’s most valuable players. But I’ve lived to tell the tale(s)! So, from time to time, I will dish the dirt on everything from getting freaky to getting freaked out. Now, let’s get this party started…

Salon.com’s advice columnist, Cary Tennis, gets a lot of questions, from the bizarre to the just plain sexy. Why just yesterday, a virgin who just wants to be spanked wrote in. Oh help me, Cary! Needless to say, he is one lucky dude. While he takes his questions seriously and his advice can be good, it’s also a little, well, metaphorical. Even he recommended she seek the aid of another gal who likes to be dominated. So, here I am and I’m going to get straight to the point, sweetheart! This is how I think you should handle getting manhandled….. Keep reading »

Dominatrixes: Hit Hard, Hit Back

SimchaOctober 24, 2008 //

What could torture a dominatrix? Only a bad economy! It’s been a world of pain for the sex workers who have been complaining about the recession. While prostitutes are reporting record business and lay people are doing it like bunnies, the niche market has been beaten down. Keep reading »

If Britain’s S&M Scene Is Secret, Why Are So Many People Commenting?

Catherine StrawnJuly 15, 2008 //

BBC News published an article on Britain’s “secretive “S&M scene” yesterday, saying that Max Mosley’s antics are really opening people up. (He had a sadomasochistic session with five prostitutes, with whom he engaged in a concentration camp scenario.) The comments in response to the story are great though, because many BDSM practitioners defend their chosen sex life. One even sort of confirms yesterday’s post about being born with the desire for S&M: “I don’t really indulge in S&M (it just hurts, frankly, which is a good way to tell if it’s for you).” Other commenters are upset with the BBC for printing the story: “It’s clear to me that England is becoming more Satanic in nature every day, and the people who work for the BBC must take some responsibility for that.” Let’s blame the war in Iraq on the BBC, while we’re at it. [BBC] Keep reading »

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