Tag Archives: bdsm

Fetishes 101: All The Basics About Having A Sexual Fetish Or Paraphilia

Adult Diapers
Adult diapers is a trend for women in Japan. Read More »
Spanking Fetish
woman spanking
"Modern Love" tackles one woman's spanking fetish. Read More »
fetish

“I have a shopping fetish!”

“I have a total fetish for caramel-covered popcorn — it’s my favorite snack!”

“She watches the Kardashians’ shows because she has a weird Kim fetish. She’s wants to dress like her so badly.”

You’ve probably heard a comment like this at least once a week your entire life. These sorts of comments drive me bonkers, because those people are not really referring to fetishes.

Instead, they’re misusing the word “fetish” to describe anything they really like, instead of something that sexually turns them on. I imagine it might be the same way gay folks would feel when a straight-person says to their same-sex friend “I’m gay for you,” when really they just mean their friend is a good buddy.

This is a subject we could all stand to know more about.  Obviously I am not a psychologist or a medical expert of any kind; I’m just a woman with a spanking fetish who is researching official information on the subject on Google and including my own experiences and tips. I highly recommend visiting a sex-positive therapist, specifically a sex therapist, for a professional consult and to sort this stuff out if you or a loved one have a fetish or paraphilia.

But for a basic 101 on fetishes and paraphilia, here are some commonly asked questions and answers:

Keep reading »

Gina The Chimp Only Wants To Watch Porn (And Us Humans Are Rather Fond Of It As Well)

Fave Male Porn Star
Amelia's new favorite male porn star is Manuel Ferrara. Read More »
Women & Porn
10 reasons they watch. Read More »
chimpanzee

Sometimes I feel bad about wild animals enclosed in zoos. But I feel slightly less bad for Gina, a chimpanzee at the Seville Zoo in Spain, who spends her days watching porn on TV.

Gina’s TV has lots of different channels, but the only ones that this frisky primate watches are the ones rated “adult entertainment.”

Chimps are, of course, one of the closest cousins to humans; we share 90 percent of our DNA with them.

That information should, I hope, make Salon.com writer Issac Abel, 23, feel slightly better: Abel published an essay this weekend about how he came of age masturbating to internet porn and now he’s having difficulties getting sexy with real, live women who don’t fulfill his fantasies quite like those on set. Keep reading »

Yes, Master! Harvard Students Now Have A BDSM Sex Club

Be Sex Positive!
Eight ways to be positive you're sex positive. Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
schoolgirl

They have the best and the brightest in the country and now they have a bondage, dominance and sadomasochism club, too.

Harvard University students are in the early stages of convening an official campus club — like, say, the school paper or the French club — centered around a shared interest in BDSM kink, like bondage, flogging, spanking, and other 50 Shades-style “play.” Harvard students aren’t the only little horndogs: other college campuses that have similar BDSM clubs include NYU, MIT, Tufts, Yale, and the University of Chicago. Keep reading »

Couple Divorces Because Husband Won’t Reenact “50 Shades Of Grey”

"50 Shades" Screenwriter
Today's Lady News photo
The "50 Shades Of Grey" screenplay will be written by Kelly Marcel. Read More »
"50 Shades" Classes
kinky photo
Want to try BDSM? Take a class! Read More »
Inappropriate Onesie
It says "9 months ago mommy read Fifty Shades Of Grey." Read More »
kinky woman

Here’s a … unique … reason for getting a divorce: a British couple’s split has been prompted by the husband’s unwillingness to reenact the sexy sex from the BDSM erotica novel, 50 Shades Of Grey. Keep reading »

Modern Love Tackles One Woman’s Spanking Fetish

First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
Tales Of A Kinky Feminist
bdsm
You can be a kinky feminist and flawed human being. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
woman spanking

The New York Times Style section usually emits more groans from me than cheers. Remember that piece about how bangs are “in”? And how women wear dresses? So I was ecstatic this week to see the Modern Love essay is by Jillian Keenan, a woman with a spanking fetish who is struggling to come out about it to her boyfriend. The essay touched on the struggles female spankos face from a judgmental and/or misunderstanding public, namely that we all must have suffered sexual abuse (not true) or must be gravely damaged in some way (also not true). And I was particularly delighted that 50 Shades Of Grey got only a brief mention. Keep reading »

True Story: I Can Be A Kinky Feminist & A Messy Human Being

Misunderstanding Kink
Some folks don't understand kink is not sexual abuse. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
First Time: Spanking Party
spanking photo
This is what happens at a spanking party. Read More »
Fat Mike On BDSM
Fat Mike of NOFX
NOFX's Fat Mike talks about his BDSM lifestyle and persecution for kink. Read More »

A few years ago ….

Today, in 2012, I avoid him as much as I can. But my friend (?) Richard used to joke (?) that I only called him when I broke up with my boyfriends. Kinda true, kinda false. Regardless — a few years ago — I don’t even call him this time, I just end up at his apartment for some small party.

He scents the pain in me, and suddenly we’re in a back room, alone. One of the reasons he’s so good at this is that he smells vulnerability like a shark smells blood. I don’t remember whether I ask him to hurt me, or he just grabs me. “Something’s close to the surface,” I tell him, while he leaves bite-shaped bruises on my upper arm. He knows me; he doesn’t leave bruises in places I can’t cover with a t-shirt.

“What is it?” he asks, and I choke on it. I’m already starting to cry. We’ve only been doing this for a moment.

“Red,” I say. The safeword. I’m sobbing. “Red.” Richard stops immediately. “Tears,” I say. “Tears were close to the surface.” Keep reading »

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