Tag Archives: bdsm

Girl Talk: On Calling A Man “Daddy” In Bed

Sex Positive?
Find out if you're really sex positive. Read More »
Getting Spanked
spanking photo
There is a first time for everything! Read More »

He liked to talk in bed — a lot, and always dirty — and, as part of his rhetorical repertoire, he liked to tell me about other women he’d been with while he was getting me off. He’d whisper in my ear about how this one went down on him while he told her what a whore she was, or how that one responded when he called her a slut while she was on her knees in front of him. When I told him he wasn’t allowed to call other women by my name — “slut” — anymore, he kissed me so hard I couldn’t breathe and nailed me until I couldn’t see straight. Keep reading »

DomConLA Bondage Convention A Big Hit With S&M Community

Bondage buffs from as far away as Europe and Japan beat a path to Los Angeles this past weekend just for the chance to get beaten.

It’s all part of DomConLA, an event now in its eighth year, that allows fetish fans, submissives, and dominants to meet, greet and beat — if the mood (and the mistress) strikes.

Billed as “America’s largest Professional and Lifestyle Domination Convention,” the kinky convention was created by a professional dominatrix by the name of Mistress Cyan who was pained by the disparity and disassociation between those involved in Professional Domination and those in “The Lifestyle.” Read more …

Here’s The Audio Of Gilbert Gottfried Reading “50 Shades Of Grey” That You Didn’t Ask For

50 Shades Of Grey
Read more about the new BDSM erotica hailed as "mommy porn." Read More »
Casting "Fifty Shades"
Who we think should play Christian, Ana, and everyone else. Read More »
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We know you have reservations about reading the hot new BDSM “mommy porn” erotic novel 50 Shades Of Grey in public. What if someone from church sees?! What would your grandma think?! That’s why we couldn’t be more pleased talented voiceover actor Gilbert Gottfried has done the audiobook for 50 Shades. No one has to know you’re listening to a (NSFW!) filthy story about fisting and Anastasia’s slapped clitoris … read in the sultry voice of Iago from “Aladdin.” [Jest.com]

8 Ways To Be Positive You’re Sex Positive

Gray-Sexual
What does it mean to be "gray-sexual?" Read More »
On Slutshaming
It's about controlling women through guilt and shame. Read More »
Anal Sex Fears
These are things that really keep us from having butt sex. Read More »

Here in the land of lady blogs, most of us believe that sex and exploring your sexuality is a great thing. “Sex positive” is the go-to term for this, which is the philosophy that all consensual expressions of sexuality are good and healthy. Sex positivity also includes advocating for sex education and safer sex. Sounds good, right?

But simply labeling yourself “sex-positive” doesn’t necessarily mean you are. After hanging around the sex blogosphere for the last couple of years, I’ve been schooled in the way I think about sex. After the jump, some things to keep in mind if you want to be truly positive you’re sex positive. Keep reading »

FL Library Removes “50 Shades Of Grey” From Shelves

Casting "Fifty Shades"
Who we think should play Christian, Ana, and everyone else. Read More »
Submissive Sex
Newsflash: feminists are not against submissve sex. Read More »

50 Shades Of Grey may well be one of the worst-written books ever. But being a blight on the face of literature isn’t the reason Brevard County Public Library in Florida pulled the BDSM erotica novel from shelves: they called 50 Shades ”pornography.” But Brevard County is not consistent in what they consider “pornographic” and what they consider simply “erotic”; The New York Times found other sexy books on the shelves, like The Complete Kama Sutra and Lolita. A spokesman for the county government said the latter books were acceptable because they had “become part of the societal mainstream.” Here’s hoping this is the work of overzealous local government officials, not librarians themselves. In any case, is this a plus-one in the Florida column for keeping such terrible writing away from readers? Or a minus-one for censorship? I’m not even sure. [NY Times]

Textercuff: The Perfect Sex Toy For Text Addicts

For some, the pleasure of returning text messages is one that should be denied. The Textercuff, part handcuff, part thumb gag, is the perfect sex toy for restraining your technology addict from the instant gratification he desires. Deny him the touch of his iPhone, shame him for being too plugged in, make him beg to tap the keys, punish him until he knows who’s the boss of his text messages. Then release his thumb from bondage and let him have at it. I’m dubbing this Kinkology. [Gizmodo]

“Mad Men” Creator Sheds Light On Don Draper’s S&M Sex Drive

"Mad Men" Dating Style
Are you a Joan? A Peggy? Or maybe you're a Trudy. Read More »
Dating Don Draper
Amelia dating a guy eerily similar to the "Mad Men" character. Read More »
Don and Megan fighting at Howard Johnson's on Mad Men

“Don’s relationship — and [the] women in his life’s relationship[s] — between power and sex is very closely linked. And I think it’s part of the human experience. I think it’s an animal thing. Powerful men in particular seem to want to be controlled sexually. … I think what you’re seeing is that they do have a vibrant sex life, and she is controlling that part of it, and he likes it. And it’s the way they fight. And it’s kind of her saying to him, ‘You want to be this way? Then you can’t have this,’ and on some level wanting him to realize that he won’t get it. And what I love about it, and what I think is fresh, is that this woman is not judged afterward. It’s very rare for a woman to express that kind of sexual confidence and control and not be the prostitute, and be somebody’s wife and be in a relationship afterward. I’m both sexualizing their relationship and explaining her status in the relationship.”

“Mad Men” creator Matt Weiner spoke to NPR about Don Draper’s S&M sex drive, which we’ve gotten little peeks of throughout the series. Remember that time Don got slapped in the face by a prostitute! My head almost exploded. Keep reading »

I’m A Feminist And I Love S&M

The book Fifty Shades of Grey has brought to the forefront of modern society and readers’ minds the fact that some women (and men) enjoying BDSM play in their sex lives. Shocking, right? What sort of deviant wants to be spanked or tied up or told they’re a “bad girl”? I’ll tell you: about 60 percent of my friends — mostly women, but some men, too.

As with any book that explores a realm diverging from the mundane, there has been a lot of talk about not only the writing (apparently it sucks), but also the topic. While some are appalled by it, others, like myself, are just giving my fellow friends who enjoy some spanking action high fives. It’s about time that a woman wanting to play the submissive role in the bedroom is portrayed in a light that makes it seem like a normal sex act, not something that goes on in a creepy S&M dungeon. Read more…

Now You Can Learn Spanking, Kink In Actual “50 Shades Of Grey” Classes

50 Shades Of Grey
This erotica book is sweeping the nation. Read More »
Submissive Sex
Newsflash: feminists are not against submissve sex. Read More »
Getting Spanked
spanking photo
There is a first time for everything! Read More »
kinky photo

One NYC-branch of sex shop Toys In Babeland is (wisely) capitalizing on the new “mommy porn” 50 Shades Of Grey craze with cocktail party classes teaching Kinky Sex 101. The open-to-the-public classes will be free; the first 25 kinkster guests will go home with a Christian Grey-approved goody bag: a paddle, necktie, satin bondage kit, edible spanking powder (?!), and vibrating nipple clamps. (Yes, really.) Private classes are being held for more exclusive folks; the NYC-based blog Gothamist seems to think Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany are attending. Oh, be still, my heart.

It’s silly that  Toys In Babeland have to call this a “50 Shades” class instead of what it is — bondage/dominance/sadomasochism, or BDSM — but I guess too many people think a little kink in the bedroom is freaky. But whatever. I’ve already RSVPed and enlisted two girlfriends to come with. [Gothamist]

The Soapbox: Actually, Katie Roiphe, Feminists Are Not Perplexed About Submissive Sex

50 Shades Of Grey
This erotica book is sweeping the nation. Read More »
Dominant Sex
I just want to be dominated in bed! Read More »
Kinky, But Not Easy
woman in handcuffs photo
Jessica is kinky but still demands respect. Read More »
Want To Try Spanking?
Doin' It With Dr. V explains how to spank and be spanked! Read More »

Bondage/dominance/sadomasochism (BDSM) erotica novel Fifty Shades Of Grey has swept the nation, landing itself on many a Kindle and launching a feeding frenzy for the movie rights. More digital ink has been spilled on What Does This All Mean? for women and our sexual desires than will ever be spilled on the people killed by a tornado in Oklahoma this weekend.

So naturally, Newsweek/The Daily Beast hired Katie Roiphe, who both loathes contemporary feminism and does not understand BDSM in the slightest, to write about it.   Keep reading »

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