Tag Archives: bdsm

First Time For Everything: Being A Dominatrix

Niki DraytonFebruary 2, 2012 //
Kinky, But Not Easy
woman in handcuffs photo
Jessica is kinky but still demands respect. Read More »
Bondage Looks
Celebs in bondage. 12 Photos »
On Sex Work & Feminism
Actress Billie Piper talks about sex work and feminism. Read More »

Yes, I was nervous, but mostly I was excited. It was my first day as Mistress Darkness, a professional dominatrix. As a black graduate student in her 20s who had previously held down employment as a gym teacher and library assistant, I surprised myself when I answered  the ad on Craigslist. I needed a flexible, part-time job to supplement my graduate assistantship stipend and the $65-$85/hr compensation sounded like easy money. I had always been intrigued by the sex industry, but the thought of being a sex worker clashed with my feminist ideals. I decided to make an exception for this dominatrix listing, which seemed different to me with its strict “no sex or nudity” policy. Keep reading »

Keira Knightley Wouldn’t Let Michael Fassbender Spank Her

Jessica WakemanNovember 10, 2011 //
Getting Spanked
spanking photo
There is a first time for everything! Read More »
Kinky, But Not Easy
woman in handcuffs photo
Jessica is kinky but still demands respect. Read More »
Likin' It Rough
A woman tries rough sex for the first time. Read More »
Want To Try Spanking?
Doin' It With Dr. V explains how to spank and be spanked! Read More »
keira knightley michael fassbender photo

“I actually said to him before we shot the spanking scenes, ‘If you touch me I will kill you’ and he did remind me that I was tied to a bed at the time and really I shouldn’t be making any threats. … [those scenes] weren’t particularly easy.” 

 — Keira Knightley, idiot girl, didn’t want to be spanked by my boyfriend Michael Fassbender during their sex scenes for “A Dangerous Method.” It turns out that the spanking scenes in the movie — in which Fassbender plays Carl Jung and Knightley plays a client of his with a BDSM fetish — are totally faked.  Idiot, idiot, idiot, idiot girl. I would have happily been your sexy stunt double! [Mirror UK]

Image via Getty

Dominatrix Suspended From New York Attorney General’s Office

Jessica WakemanSeptember 20, 2011 //

Lawyers in the New York Attorney General’s office are used to cracking down on bad boys. But in Alisha Smith’s case, bad boys may have been paying her top dollar for a public spanking from “Alisha Spark,” her dominatrix alter ego. There are also allegedly photographs of “Alisha Spark” on the internet posing in skintight, latex fetish gear. According to an investigation by The New York Post, the 36-year-old Manhattan lawyer performs at BDSM events for pay — which has caused the AG’s office to suspend her from her job. A source told the Post her employers are concerned she may have been paid for doing this sex work — not just because it could be potentially embarrassing to her employers but because workers are supposed to get approval for any outside work for which they would earn over $1K. Even, uh, kinky work. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: On Calling A Man “Daddy” In Bed

adminSeptember 20, 2011 //
dominated woman photo

He liked to talk in bed — a lot, and always dirty — and, as part of his rhetorical repertoire, he liked to tell me about other women he’d been with while he was getting me off. He’d whisper in my ear about how this one went down on him while he told her what a whore she was, or how that one responded when he called her a slut while she was on her knees in front of him. When I told him he wasn’t allowed to call other women by my name — “slut” — anymore, he kissed me so hard I couldn’t breathe and nailed me until I couldn’t see straight. Keep reading »

Crystal Renn Is Into Bondage

Jessica WakemanMay 8, 2011 //

There is a magazine out there called Tush. That is the first important piece of business I would like to note. Also, model Crystal Renn looks surprised to be in a leather collar/leash type of thing, as photographed by Ellen Von Unwerth. Maybe she needs some S&M tips from Rihanna? [NYMag.com] Keep reading »

Today’s Lady News: “In The Bedroom, Inequality Beats Equality”

Jessica WakemanApril 11, 2011 //
  • “Men are aroused by being dominant and by submissive women, women are aroused by being submissive and by dominant men,” writes Ogi Ogas, Ph.D. in Psychology Today. “In the bedroom, inequality beats equality.” Those broad sweeping statements are fighting words, PT! Speaking strictly for myself, I agree with Ogi. But I wonder if other folks find this blanket statement about bedroom dynamics to ring true. Read the blog post and let me know in the comments. [Psychology Today]
  • Indiana lawmakers are toiling away at anti-abortion legislation which would require women to be told in writing that abortion could increase their chances of infertility and breast cancer, despite the fact that is medically false. Here, read the National Cancer Institute article about how the abortion/breast cancer link does not exist. And lawmakers are trying to legislate that scare tactic? SERIOUSLY, people?! [IndyStar.com]
  • A transgender woman named Brittany Novotny was elected president of Young Democrats of Oklahoma this weekend. Last year, Brittany challenged a homophobic politician for a seat in the state’s House of Representatives. Although Brittany didn’t win the election, she did win almost 35 percent of the vote. [Advocate]
  • Anyone else think far too much of “Saturday Night Live” this weekend was about Helen Mirren’s hot body? [TV Squad]

Keep reading »

Rihanna Loves A Good Spanking

Jessica WakemanMarch 30, 2011 //
Want To Try Spanking?
Doin' It With Dr. V explains how to spank and be spanked! Read More »

“Being submissive in the bedroom is really fun. You get to be a little lady, to have somebody be macho and in charge of your s**t. That’s fun to me … I like to be spanked. Being tied up is fun. I like to keep it spontaneous. Sometimes whips and chains can be overly planned — you gotta stop, get the whip from the drawer downstairs. I’d rather have him use his hands.”

— Rihanna may sing in “S&M” that “chains and whips excite me,” but IRL the girl just loves a good old-fashioned spanking. Hawt. [Rolling Stone] Keep reading »

Rihanna Spanks Perez Hilton In Her New Video For “S&M”

Jessica WakemanFebruary 1, 2011 //


You don’t have to love S&M to love Rihanna‘s new music video for “S&M,” but it certainly helps! The pop princess’ ode to bondage, dominance and sadomasochism features bondage gear, pink latex, ball gags, and leather switches, and stars gossip blogger Perez Hilton lead around on a leash. (And yes, the fact that Perez Hilton gets a spanking in a video that arouses me is making my head explode.) The costumes, hair and makeup in “S&M” are incredible and it’s by far the sexiest “sexy” music video Rihanna’s ever put out. Obviously, Amelia wants me to get nothing accomplished for the rest of the day, so I’ll just … hit replay … and be .. right … back …. [Vevo via Popdust] Keep reading »

Frisky Q & A: Melissa Febos, Ex-Dominatrix And Author Of “Whip Smart: A Memoir”

Jessica WakemanApril 21, 2010 //

A dominatrix: all of us know what one is. But let’s be honest: few of us actually know a woman who earns her living as one (that we’re aware of, anyway). But you’ll become, ahem, intimately familiar with one after reading the recently published book, Whip Smart: A Memoir, by Melissa Febos.

Febos, who nowadays teaches writing and literature at SUNY Purchase College in New York, was just a college student looking to earn extra cash at a Manhattan dungeon. But surprisingly, something about domme-ing men for money appealed to her. Febos — who was also busy acquiring, and then kicking, a heroin addiction — spat, spanked and insulted her way through clients for a whole four years before she left the dominatrix life for good.

I spoke with Febos about what initially drew her to sex work, how she broke the news to mom and dad that she was a dominatrix (yes, they knew!), and what she did with all those kinky clothes when she finally hung up her whip. Keep reading »

Why Do Strong Women Like To Be Dominated?

Jessica WakemanMay 29, 2009 //

Imagine a woman: She has a college degree and a job, she pays for her own house and car, and she’s not intimidated by any man for any reason. She’s smart, independent and strong.

Isn’t it a puzzle, then, that she has sexual fantasies of being dominated?

Actually, researchers say, it makes perfect sense. Keep reading »

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