I don’t know about you, but my bikini body doesn’t look anything like the ones on the cover of In Touch … unless we’re talking about one of those “Pregnant Or Ate A Burrito?!” articles. Let’s be real: no one other than Kim Kardashian (and her team of makeup artists, hairstylists and spray tanners) looks like Kim Kardashian in a bikini. The rest of us just look … human. So in the spirit of body love, I’ve cobbled together candid pics 23 celebs in any many shapes and sizes as I could find, rocking out at the pool. This, my Frisky friends, is what folks look like without Photoshop: cellulite, muffin top and all.
You guys, I simply cannot stay silent for a moment longer. The cost of swimwear is too damn high! It’s. Too. Damn. High. I’m going to Mexico in a month so I’ve been on the hunt for a new bikini to bring with me and wear basically 24/7 while I’m there. But I am seriously appalled by how much swimwear designers are charging for these scant pieces of fabric. Who wants to spend $200 on something that is going to spend the majority of its time soaking in chlorine or salt water, chafing against sand, and fading in the sun? Who wants to spend $200 on something that is, for most of us, sort of depressing to shop for because it illuminates our unfair body image issues? NOT ME. AND NOT YOU. That’s why I am taking it upon myself to track down the best swimsuits in a variety of styles under $75, that way you still have money to spend on, you know, getting to the beach(or pool or lake or swimming hole) in the first place.
First up: bandeaus! This is my ideal bikini style because I really don’t like tanlines on my shoulders or chest — all of these bandeau tops (with matching/coordinating bottoms) come with a strap/straps that you can either untie or remove, that way you can still feel secure when you’re running through the waves. Click on to see what I’ve picked!
I’m going to Mexico at the beginning of May, so I’m starting to keep my eye peeled for a new swimsuit for my trip. I have yet to find a bikini that I really want, but I have come across a whole mess of swimsuits that would get me more than a few looks on the beach. It seems that some swimwear designers these days aren’t creatively inspired by simple batik prints or bright colors — no, they’re into the Animal Kingdom (and I don’t mean classic cheetah prints), bones, and body parts, amongst other non-traditional influences. You know … so edgy! Click on to see 17 swimsuits I simply do not have the balls to wear.
Oh, Abercrombie and Fitch. We never took the preppy clothing company as the arbiter of good taste and class, but we think they’ve perhaps gone way over the line by producing a collection of girls’ bathing suit tops–aimed at ages 8 to 14–with padded bras included. Just what, pray tell, does a little kid need with a padded bra, A&F? Who thought this was a good idea? Your company already gets accused–over and over again–of oversexualizing young teens and children, and this certainly isn’t helping to improve your already-sullied reputation. Keep reading »
You like this Herve Leger bathing suit, right? It makes you want to lounge on the beach, take a dip in the pool, but oh, wait! Hold up! This bathing suit, which retails for $1,050, isn’t supposed to get wet! What were we thinking? [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
American Apparel‘s new swimwear ads are here and—OMG, are those nipples?! Yes, the gratuitously provocative ad department at American Apparel has brought us a topless model for spring. Let’s all pretend we’re freethinking Europeans and not have a cow about this, OK? Personally, I could care less about headlights in advertising, but the first thing I look for when buying a bathing suit is how am I not going to flash everyone. [Fashionista] Keep reading »
Yesterday, on two separate blogs, I noticed the following headlines: “Guess Who Wore a Sensible One-Piece Bathing Suit to the Beach?” and “Jaime King Hits the Beach in Miami in a Black One Piece Swimsuit.” Both featured the photo at left of model-turned-actress Jaime King. This got me thinking … in our bikini-obsessed world, does wearing a one-piece suit really warrant multiple headlines? ‘Cause if so, I should make the news every time I go to the beach. Keep reading »
I don’t know? What do you say about something like this? A woman in a bikini top made out of plastic hands over her breasts? Heavy has compiled a list of the top 20 worst bathing suits, but I am going to have to declare this one the winner. It’s just … horrifying. To me, at least. I don’t know what to say other than keep your bikini top hands off me, please. [Heavy] Keep reading »
Unlike Michelle Obama, you’ll probably never wear an outfit by Isabel Toledo while watching your husband be inaugurated as president. But Tar-jay looks out for us little people! Isabel Toledo and her husband, Ruben, have designed a swimwear collection which goes on sale at Target.com on August 1. Five percent of the proceeds from the bathing suits/cover-ups will be donated to New York City’s Museo del Barrio, a museum devoted to Latin Americans culture in the city. Anyone who wants to nab an arty bikini can pick them up earlier than the rest of the country at Target’s new store in Harlem, NY starting July 25. Grab the red one-piece for me, please. [Fashionista] Keep reading »
Haute Macabre wonders if these skeleton-themed, Black Milk bodysuits could double as bathing suits, to which we respond: why not? With styles named The Skull, The Ribs, and The Resurrection, you are certain to make a splash, or perhaps frighten the kiddies out of the pool. They’re made of polyester and elastane and cost $75. (No snaps in the crotch, BTW, like a traditional bodysuit might have.) So, what do you think? Would you wear it to a pool party, or leave it to the goth girls to rock it? [Haute Macabre] Keep reading »