Dear Gregory Matthew Bruni,
You sound like quite an impressive criminal — even for Florida, which is full of impressive criminals. It seems this past Monday you were bored after dinner/high on bath salts so you decided to strip down to your b-day suit and jump on over to your neighbor’s roof. Except, whoops! That dude was home, and none to pleased to have a naked stranger doing a jig on his house.
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I’m not even sure what to say about the U.S. Navy’s new PSA “Bath Salts: It’s not a fad …It’s a NIGHTMARE,” warning against the dangers of the drug, which has been growing in popularity with sailors. If they were trying to scare people, it worked … in a super low budget horror movie kind of way. The video depicts a sailor snorting bath salts and then hallucinating that his girlfriend is a demon and punching her in the face in the bowling alley. Interesting choice. It ends with the sailor in the hospital getting treated for a bath salts overdose. Lt. George Loeffler, a Psychiatry Resident at the Naval Medical Center in San Diego, closes out the PSA with information about the drug:
“When people are using bath salts, they’re not their normal selves. They’re angrier. They’re erratic. They’re violent and they’re unpredictable…. People will start seeing things that aren’t there, believing things that aren’t true … Bath salts, will not only jack up your family and your career, they’ll jack up your mind and your body too.”
I have a much deeper understanding of that string of bath salts/ flesh-eating incidents. [ABC]
My friend Julieanne Smolinski and I came up with these important questions.
If you think those bath salts in your bathroom are just for relaxing after a long day, you are mistaken. Officials have released a warning that bath salts are the hot new drug of choice and many cities are trying to put a ban on them. The fragrant crystals can be smoked, snorted, or mainlined, and induce a comparable high to cocaine or meth. Side effects include euphoria, extreme energy, hallucinations, paranoia, psychosis, delusions, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, chest pains, heart attacks, strokes, and smelling good. Other signs that a loved one may be using; they spend an awful of time taking baths and never seem all that clean, but emerge from the bathroom looking insane. Packets of bath salts go for $25 – $40 on the black market, I mean any drug store. But what about those of us who just want to take a bath? [KTLA] Keep reading »
I’m not much of a sweets person, not even when I’m PMSing. Savory is really my thing, especially when it comes to smell. The odor of sugar-coated nuts being roasted makes my stomach turn, but I could stick my nose over a pot of marinara sauce and inhale for hours. My preference for savory over sweet does not extend, however, to bath products. That’s too bad, as online gift shop Archie McPhee has just the thing for people who lack a sweet tooth — gravy bath salts! Not only will they make your bathroom smell like delicious turkey gravy, but they also turn your bath water into an appealing, rich brown color! Um, like diarrhea? Luckily, if turkey isn’t your favorite white meat, the salts also come in “chicken, pork, and brown.” What the hell is brown?! [$4.95, Archie McPhee] Keep reading »