According to the book Salinger and accompanying documentary opening this Friday, the reclusive author’s driving, creative force were his balls, or lack thereof. A New York Times review of the book by David Shields and Shane Salerno reveals the theory that Salinger’s alleged missing nut was his secret shame and cause for isolation:
“The authors contend that Salinger ‘was born with only one testicle’ and they argue that this caused him enormous embarrassment — that it was ‘surely one of the many reasons he stayed out of the media glare’ so as ‘to reduce the likelihood that this information would emerge,’ and that it amplified his psychological need ‘to create flawless art.’ This assertion, however, is based on anonymous sources: two unnamed women who the authors say ‘independently confirmed’ hearsay that Salinger suffered from this anomaly.”
While it’s interesting to attribute Salinger’s need to create flawless art alone in the woods of New Hampshire to his missing ball, it seems like a bit of a stretch. Not to be insensitive about any shame this might have caused him. But a lot of writers suffer from the very same affliction, missing nut or not. [The Atlantic Wire]
You probably know Wesley Warren Jr. as the man with the 132-pound nut. At first Warren didn’t want to undergo surgery for his scrotal lymphedema, but found it to be the best option for his health and safety. After all, wearing an upside-down hoodie to cover your ball in public, watching TV while resting your junk on a milk crate, and having your scrotum overtake your penis to the point that you lose your ability to control your pee is no way to live. Not to mention the severe anemia and depression Warren suffered due to his condition. In April of this year, he finally underwent a 13-hour procedure to remove his giant scrotal mass. Keep reading »
It’s every man’s worst nightmare to wake up from a nap and find out one of his balls is missing. For an anonymous 39-year-old man in Trumann, Arkansas, it was bloody reality. The man, who is paralyzed from the waist down, fell asleep naked on Monday. When he woke up, his recently adopted “small, white, fluffy” dog was between his thighs with blood on his muzzle and the man felt “burning pain” in his mid-section. The pooch had “eaten one of his testicles,” according to the police report, although it’s not clear why he favored his master’s sweaty balls instead over Beggin’ Strips. Perhaps he was inspired by paco, that species of toothy testicle-eating fish. The doggie has since been euthanized and is being tested for rabies. His owner is lucky he woke when he did before he lost both testes. All the more reasons to vaccinate your pets, folks. [CBS Local] [KAIT8] [Image of bad dog via Shutterstock]
I mean, right? Justin Theroux went brief-less filming a jogging scene for his new movie yesterday, while the “Liz & Dick” actor brought his moose knuckle to the “Despicable Me” 2″ premiere. Settle down, guys. Jon Hamm doesn’t even want the title of “Most Obviously Big Balled Actor In Hollywood.” Let’s not be so competitive. There’s plenty of room in Hollywood for all of your impressive packages. [Photos: Splash News]
Up until he underwent a grueling 13-hour surgery, Wesley Warren Jr. had 132-pound testicles. In 2009, after crushing his testicles in his sleep, Warren Jr., developed a disorder called “scrotal lymphedema” (also known as scrotal elephantiasis). His balls swelled to a gargantuan size, and his titanic testes were so massive that he toyed with the idea of selling the boys on eBay, which, oddly enough, is not all that rare of an idea. In his condition, Warren was unable to have sex and experienced tons of pain. Also, apparently carrying around testicles the size of another human is not especially good for one’s health. Considering all of these things, the surgery that brought his testicles back down to average size sounds like the best possible scenario, right?
Well …. Keep reading »
“He would give his balls to go there!”
This statement, though usually figurative, is meant very literally by 52-year-old Colombian poet Raffael Medina Brochero. He has offered to sell his testicles to the first person who offers him the desired amount, which right now has been reported to be anywhere from $20,000 to $200,000. Keep reading »
George Clooney: Sexiest man alive and itinerant ball ironer. Yes, that’s right, George Clooney (pictured joyfully showing off his scrotal superiority) has sparked a new trend in testicle management, telling the Italian magazine Max that he’d had his balls “ironed out.” This isn’t the first time he’s mentioned de-wrinkling his testicles — he made a similar joke to Esquire magazine in 2008. And while we’re pretty sure Clooney was a zillion percent joking, ball-ironing has now become an actual thing at many spas around the country. (*Bangs head against desk*) Keep reading »
“I’m willing to bet his problem is his balls … Balls cause the most bulges. His penis is not going down his pant leg like mine. I prefer constriction myself … As you get older, your balls drop and need support. If it’s his penis that’s causing the problem, he can point it up like European men … He needs to just nod and chuckle, but not answer any questions.”
– Jonah Falcon, the man with the world’s largest penis, gives Jon Hamm unsolicited advice on how to handle his bulge. I just kept reading this over and over again thinking, This isn’t real. Point it up like European men? Is that a thing? I’m dying.I’m sorry Jon Hamm, I know you’ll think I’m rude for posting this, I just couldn’t resist. [Huffington Post]
God bless Jon Hamm and his floppy, free-spirited junk. That man’s cock and balls are all over the place and he just doesn’t seem to mind at all. Not that we’re complaining. We enjoy gawking, trying to understand what’s going on his pants.
But apparently the execs at AMC don’t share in our joy of Jon’s junk. A confidential source said that Hamm was instructed to bridle his balls for this season of “Mad Men.” Keep reading »
Listen, I am a professional who writes about dating and men and sex on the internet, and I’ve been around the block once or twice or 25 times on top of that, so I am clearly not naive to the many things men do that are … Odd. Interesting. Gross. They cup their balls like Al Bundy. They measure their dicks. They do the mangina. Bravo. Yawn. So that’s why it came as such a surprise that the extensive chain of replies to a thread on Reddit asking “What are some things you are sure all guys do or have done?” actually managed to produce shock and awe. And plenty of those WTF things appeared in the replies multiple times indicating — statistically! — that, yes, men in general (with some exceptions of course) actually do them with regularity. (And most of them have something to do with their dicks. Which is not shocking.) So, without further ado, here are the things every man does… Keep reading »