Dear Guy Who Got A Gorilla Tattoo On The Back Of His Head,
Listen, I thought our relationship was going pretty well. I thought your bald spot was cute. I really liked your taste in beaded chokers. And then you went to the tattoo parlor, and came back with … this. What am I supposed to do when I wake up in the middle of the night and this thing’s staring at me from your pillow?! Sorry to say it, but we’re gonna have to break up. I hope you and your fearsome head gorilla live happily ever after.
“When I was younger, I was upset, and my dad said he wanted to show me something. He slammed one door of the bathroom, and the closet door popped open—it was a trick with the air. He said, ‘Whenever one door closes, another one always opens.’ So my tattoo means ‘Live without regrets.’ It’s not that you don’t regret things in life, but you at least try to learn from them. It’s misspelled too—so I literally have to live by that advice!”
–”Nashville” star Hayden Panettiere tells Glamour about the Italian phrase for “Live without regrets” that she has tattooed on her back. “Regrets” in Italian is spelled “rimpianti,” but Hayden’s tattoo reads “rimipianti.” Oops. [HuffPo via Glamour]
This is 51-year-old Cathy Ward. Back in 2008, Cathy started reading the Twilight books, and became so engrossed by the story that she forgot to eat, and ended up losing six dress sizes. To honor her new favorite books and her new body, she decided to cover every inch of her skin with Twilight tattoos. She’s currently almost finished with her back and arms, which include detailed portraits of Robert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart, and Taylor Lautner. “I’m still continuing with them,” she says. “We’ve got plans and designs for my legs next year – the aim is to cover my whole body.” Reaching her goal will require hundreds of hours at the tattoo shop and an estimated $30,000 on top of the $11,000 she’s already spent, but Cathy insists it’s worth it. “I’m having a blast,” she says. [Oddity Central]
If you ask us, it seems a little two-faced. Just two weeks after he said he had no regrets about his Mitt Romney face tattoo, Eric Hartsburg has decided to accept an offer to have it removed for free, reports Politico. What’s behind the change of heart? He apparently didn’t like Romney’s post-election “gifts” comment, and says the tat now “stands not only for a losing campaign but for a sore loser.” Will Kirby, who has appeared on shows like “Dr. 90210,” will provide the painful removal sessions, which could take almost a year to complete. Politico notes that, unfortunately for Hartsburg, blue is one of the trickier colors to erase. Read more…
Dear Tattooed Poet,
You got the following poem tattooed on your shoulder: “Roses are red/ My name is Dave/ This poem makes no sense/ Microwave.” Obviously you have a way with words and a keen eye for art. I wrote you a little response poem that I hope you’ll enjoy:
Violets are blue
My name is Winona
I like your poem tattoo
It gave me a bonah.
Care to escort me to the tattoo parlor and make this official?
When I was 14 years old, my love for the band Pearl Jam was so great, I used to make my mom drive by a house in our neighborhood every day because I had somehow concluded, via extensive research online using our crappy dial-up modem, that Eddie Vedder had lived there, like, 15 years before. I also made a paper mache trash can with Stone Gossard’s face on (he’s the band’s guitarist). In short, I get the level of fandom that MileyCyrusCarlx feels for his favorite singer, Miley Cyrus (duh). I’m sure that if I had been of legal age in 1993, I would have gotten 15 Pearl Jam tattoos. Permanently inking your love for someone on your person is a sign of loyalty, for sure, but 15 tattoos in homage? I’m in awe. I can only dream of being loved by someone with such devotion. I wonder if MCCx (that’s my nickname for him) would settle for little ol’ me? I don’t think my visage is as tattoo-worthy, and I can’t sing a note, but I’m sweet and make a mean roast chicken. (Click through to see more photos of MCCx’s Miley tats. [Buzzfeed]
I’m starting to think tattoo parlors need to employ copy editors. [via Hyper Vocal]
This woman has a legit reason to wear low-rise jeans. Who wouldn’t want to show those tats off? The best caption I can come up with is: Private eyes are watching you. But that may just be because I’m listening to Hall & Oates. I’ll bet you can do better. Have at it. [F**k Yeah Dementia]
Noted window smasher and Rihanna beater Chris Brown just keeps making it easy to hate him. And he’s also helpfully adorning his body with new and horrifying signs of his own d-baggery. Witness this classy smiley-face-on-crack tattoo Mr. Brown just got tattooed on his back. Yeah, not cool, guy, but at least you’ve offered up a nice little external visual cue to your internal crappiness. [Gawker] Keep reading »