Gettin’ down with someone new for the first time is exciting and nervewracking. There are so many decisions to make! Lights on or lights off? Do you get on top, or do you just park yourself on the bottom and hope for the best? Will it be evident that it’s been a minute? The thing about it, is that once you do it, it really is like riding a bike. You never really forget, you just have to get back on the horse. Hooking up with a new person for the first time can be totally awesome. Sure, there are awkward moments as you figure out each other’s moves and tastes, but the sexual chemistry carries you through. But there are those other times when your new paramour’s behavior in the bedroom is inexcusable. We all have our limits. Dudes, take heed. Here are some sex dealbreakers that will definitely not get you another lay. Keep reading »
Wouldn’t it be nice if we could ascertain whether someone will suck in the sack before, you know, having sex with them? That’s where I come in! Hindsight is 20/20, which means I can look back on some of the bad sex I’ve had and recognize that there were glaring warning signs well before the clothes came off. These are not hard and fast rules, of course, but more often than not, these seven things are glaring red flags that the dude you’re considering humping is going to be a total dud.
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I’m not going to lie. Women are a fickle sort. When it comes to sex, some women like this, some women like that, and some women don’t know what the hell they want. One thing we are sure of, though, is if you’re BAD in bed — at least, in our opinion. Maybe it’s us. Maybe it’s you. But if the sparks aren’t flying when we’re banging, it could be because we think you don’t have what it takes in the bedroom. What’s up with that? Listen here, dudes. In this long-awaited new episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I review five of the reasons why we think you don’t cut it.
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Meet our friend Tom. He’s a married guy with tons of relationship experience, and a skilled advice giver who’s here to answer all your pressing sex, dating and relationship questions. Have a query for Tom? Email it to email@example.com and we’ll make sure he gets it! All questions will be posted anonymously, unless otherwise requested.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for a year. I love her a whole bunch, but the glaring hole in our relationship is our sex life. We started off having sex almost every time we saw each other. Now, sex has become this very sad, mechanical practice that occurs very seldom. Keep reading »
Like me, you’ve probably seen sex on screen in a movie from behind the room divider Mom thought didn’t have any cracks in it. Heh heh, Mom. So naive. Being the sexual expert you therefore are, you never need to Google tips on how to be a better lover, but know this! There are numerous websites out there with articles dedicated to making your groin into a combination circus/amusement park/Taco Bell. Is it possible that a hastily made article of numbered points could ever be educational? Who even writes like that? The answer, of course, is I don’t know. This article is more concerned with tips from sites that seem like maybe they were written by people who have never seen good sex through a room divider crack and are therefore unequipped to even hope to tell you how to be a better lover at all. Read more on Cracked…