Tag Archives: bad ideas

Thanks But No Thanks — You Can Keep Your Butt-Shaped Nail Polish Bottles

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Why would anybody want a bottle of nail polish shaped like a butt? And yet! The people behind Bootie Babe nail polish believe that you will get over your cognitive dissonance and purchase an ass-shaped bottle of nail polish. They come in colors like “Hella Hiney” (that’s a lovely cerulean blue, in case you were wondering) and “Red Riding Hump” (red, natch). What nail polish and butts have to do with each other, may we hopefully never ever find out.

Stephen Colbert Has A Great Plan For Sweden’s Twitter Account

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So maybe you’ve heard about Sweden’s weird Twitter experiment, wherein they’re allowing perfectly average Swedish citizens to take over the country’s Twitter account for a week at a time. The nation’s current national Twitterer is a woman named Sonja, who seems mildly obsessed with Hitler and Jews and “The Little Mermaid.” Don’t believe us? Check out this Tweet…

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Bad Ideas: A Fragrance Reality TV Show

MacBook Perfume
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Swallow This Perfume
swollable perfume
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People, I will watch a reality TV show about pretty much anything, because I like to see strangers competing. I also like to hear people arguing and I love the ubiquitous phrase “throw me under the bus.” But even that will not get me to watch a show about people competing to make a perfume.

And yet! The production company RealityReal is seeking a top perfumer to star in its new program about perfumers seeking to produce a new signature scent. This won’t work for a number of reasons, namely, Smell-O-Vision doesn’t exist, and watching people talk about what things smell like isn’t that interesting.

Most likely, the show won’t get made, because perfume all looks the same and it’s a dumb idea. There, I said it. But if you want to watch something exciting about perfume, watch the movie “Perfume,” it’s amazing. [Racked]

Get The Bejeezus Scared Out Of You On The “Saw” Cruise

A Cougar Cruise
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Do you like the thrill of the open water? Enjoy the luxuries of cruising on the open seas? Love living in fear for your life? Then perhaps the Carnival Cruise Lines “Saw” cruise is for you?

Yes, after the spate of music-themed cruises (Weezer cruise, anyone?), the marketing geniuses over at Carnival have come up with a “Saw”-themed cruise. “During this amazing cruise, you will be able to party with the “SAW” Stars and meet other fans who love “SAW” just like you!” announces the press release. “You will attend fantastic pool and dance parties, question and answer sessions and many special events.”

Presumably those “special events” will include murder and torture porn. But will Jigsaw be there? That’s what we really want to know. [Slash Film]

You’re The Worst: Jessi Arrington Uses Kickstarter To Throw Herself A Digustingly Twee Birthday Party

Hey, you know what? Kickstarter is super cool and great for stuff like supporting grassroots projects, films and businesses. You know what it’s not for? THROWING YOURSELF A GODDAMN BIRTHDAY PARTY. But yet! That’s exactly what some crapster named Jessi Arrington is manipulating Kickstarter for. She wants to throw “the world’s largest rainbow parade” (these are the goals our helicopter parents dreamed we would shoot for, guys), which basically involves party goers dressing up in monochromatic clothing of different colors and uh, you know, lining up like a freaking rainbow. Keep reading »

Bad Ideas: There Is A Chinese Sunglasses Company Called Helen Keller

Look, I can’t even pretend like I can read Mandarin or Cantonese. All I know is that I was scanning a story on the English-language website China Daily and there was an ad for a company called Helen Keller on the bottom, so of course I clicked on it. Helen Keller, it seems, is a very poorly named eyewear company in China. I mean, you just don’t name your company after America’s most famous blind deaf mute, do you now? [Helen Keller]

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