I don’t know who these signals work on, but I think I’m going to find out at my local watering hole this weekend. Well, that is until someone tries to help me because they think I’m having a seizure. [The Hairpin] Keep reading »
Usually we read Elle magazine’s advice column “Ask E. Jean” with a sense of bemused horror. We imagine E. Jean sitting poolside sipping a Mai Tai, systematically rattling off terrible, cliche, and gender-stereotyped advice to a beleaguered assistant who’s forced to type up every word. You see, the women who write into E. Jean often have similar problems — the spark in their relationship has died, their husbands or boyfriends are now distant or disinterested. And without fail, E. Jean always recommends the same thing — “Oh honey, just whip up a steak dinner, put on some sexy lingerie and seduce your man back into the relationship.” In E. Jean’s world, we’re all just a sexy negligee away from solving all our relationship woes.
And then we read E. Jean’s advice to a woman who’s been married for four months and is still a virgin … Keep reading »
Thanks to our girl Judy McGuire for calling my attention to the latest advice column from Salon’s Cary Tennis. A woman writes to Tennis that she’s “in a loving but violent marriage” in which her husband has “only” beat her up a couple of times, including the time he punched and stomped her while she was pregnant. She’s writing to Tennis because she’s upset that the domestic violence hotline she called advised her to leave her husband and she wants to know her other options. Shockingly, Tennis offers her an alternative to getting the f**k out and never looking back, but first he indulges in a little rambling prose.
“In this fictional world you are safe. So I can speak to you one soul to another. I can grant you the freedom to see yourself as the object and creation of your own limitless imagination. Then you are free to inquire: What do you want, O dish thrower? What do you want, O restrainer, kicker, puncher? What is it that you are hungry for?”
Keep reading »
Last night I had dinner with my friend Cecilia*, and, as you might expect, our conversation turned to dating. We’re around the same age, and many of her friends are married and having kids. As is the plight of many a single woman with friends who have settled down, Cecilia has been getting plenty of unsolicited advice about how she can meet Mr. Right. One of the most common pieces of advice? “Put yourself out there!” Cecilia and I share a mutual loathing for this particular phrase. Keep reading »
Phew, we can all breathe a sigh of relief. This month Glamour magazine lets us know that guys are into us even if we aren’t perfect and that we don’t have to change ourselves for their benefit! Need convincing? They have seven wonderful reasons guys love us “just the way we are.” Check them out after the jump. Keep reading »
Not to beat this story dead, but a commenter pointed out that the “Friend Or Foe” letter writer has responded to Lucinda Rosenfeld’s advice — on Double X! Here’s a portion of what she wrote and we would like to say, “YOU GO GIRL.”
“For the record, I really was roofied, ma’am. The idea that I must provide you with a tox screen to prove it is galling … But in the end, I don’t need your advice after all—I figured it out all by myself. Ten years of friendship is a long time, but I was clinging to an institution and a bond that these women abandoned years ago. Perhaps we continued to see each other socially because it was easier than forging new bonds. I’m not sure. For now, these women might be in my social circle due to our vast network of mutual friends, but they are certainly not the close confidantes I once thought I had. P.S. The day I rely more on a boyfriend than on a best girlfriend is the day I lose hope for womankind.”
[Double X] Keep reading »
Writer Lucinda Rosenfeld is in big-time trouble with internet commenters! The author of I’m So Happy For You writes an advice column for Double X called “Friend Or Foe” and her advice to a recent letter writer has commenters calling for her termination. So what was the dilemma and her supposedly awful advice? Let’s begin with the conundrum. Keep reading »
What makes you swoon? I once swooned on a walk across a bridge in Central Park when my now-husband pointed to something below, and I looked down and saw the words “Wendy, will you marry me?” When I turned back around, he was down on a knee, holding my great-grandmother’s engagement ring. Swoon! I swoon when he brings home flowers for no reason at all, when he tells me I look lovely, and when I see how great he is with his niece and nephew. I wouldn’t swoon, however, if my man happened to “grasp my hand” when a beautiful, scantily-clad woman walked past us. Would you? Men’s Health seems to think this bizarre-o action is the key to a woman’s heart, seeing as they’ve included it in their list of 41 Ways To Make A Woman Swoon. In fact, almost the entire list seems to suggest that we women are insecure, needy, child-like creatures. After the jump, check out some of the other sad, sexist, and just plain odd ways they suggest making us swoon, and why they’re ridiculous. Keep reading »
Lately I’ve been getting a lot of advice. Solicited, unsolicited, much of it from female friends, most of it contradictory. Many of my female friends are in relationships, including my four closest girl friends, two of whom are married and two who are headed in that direction. They all are living vicariously through my “dating adventures,” though I’ve tried to tell them that it’s about as exciting as a bowl of oatmeal.
People give advice based on their own experiences. What works for them has got to work for you too, right? Like following a cake recipe, if you follow the right steps, you’ll get the end result you want. Except dating is nothing like baking and there’s no “right” way when it comes to matters of the heart. I watched “He’s Just Not That Into You” this weekend (out tomorrow on DVD) and if there’s a takeaway from that movies it’s this: everyone has a dating tale that is an exception to another person’s rule. Which is why all of the advice I’ve been getting has been making my head spin. Keep reading »