Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: bad sex
Crystal Harris majorly broke Hugh Hefner‘s heart when she called off their wedding. It doesn’t help that, since their split, she has been seen multiple times with Dr. Phil’s son, Jordan McGraw. But now Crystal is adding injury to insult, hitting Hugh below the belt. Literally. In other words, she told Howard Stern that their sex life totally sucked. She says that during her courtship with Hugh, they only had sex once and that it lasted “like two seconds.” She also implied that he has body issues. “He doesn’t really take off his clothes. I’ve never seen Hef naked,” she said. “Then I was just over it. I was like, ‘Ahhh.’ I was over it. I just like, walked away. I’m not turned on by Hef, sorry.” All this leads to the ultimate question: why did you accept his proposal? But we’ll move past that. [People] Really, are you actually surprised Hefner can’t practice what he preaches? We’re not. But we were a little surprised by at least a few of these other celebs who are reportedly duds in the sex department. Keeping reading to find out the dirty details … Related: 13 Celebrity Couples Who Called Off Their Weddings
I think it’s safe to assume that after a few years of sexual activity, most people have a few “oh god” stories of bedroom disasters. These are the ones that make it into the “it doesn’t count” category. You know, when something happens that, you know, just shouldn’t have happened.
When you throw two naked and probably a little awkward (or drunk) young adults into a bed together, hilarity and embarrassing moments are sure to ensue. We’ve all experienced it, hell, we may have even been the perpetrators of some unappealing bedroom behavior.
So here it is, a list of the most frequently committed bedroom faux pas to be avoided by everyone. We all know accidents can happen, but let’s do our best to avoid them, shall we? Read more… Keep reading »
Awesome future timewaster alert! The just launched blog Bad Sex Ed compiles the best of the worst sex advice people have ever received. It’s only got a few entries so far, but there’s this gem:
My brother told me that I should look deeply into a girl’s eyes while kissing her, that girls were really into that kind of connection. The first time I kissed a girl, she luckily knew better. After a few seconds of staring at her blurry eyelids, I followed suit.
After the jump, read the worst sex advice I ever received — and then share yours in the comments. Keep reading »
A few years ago, I made a big bedroom faux pas. I was hooking up with this guy — a friend/professional acquaintance — in my bedroom, giving him a little oral pleasure. He, uh, came to fruition in my mouth and as I was not yet advanced in the art of swallowing, I sat up immediately and spat the spunk right back on him. Needless to say, we never hooked up again — not that I wanted to. He tasted funky.
The lesson learned: swallow or don’t swallow, but seriously, pick one and stick to it. Because dudes don’t want you spitting out their manly fluids on or anywhere around them. After the jump, I polled some fellas I know about what else they don’t want a woman to do during sex. Keep reading »
Manly Marie Claire blogger Rich Santos posted 7 downright horrible lame guy sex moves. From the mid make-out pass-out to leaving the TV on, it was a list of real oh-no-he-didn’ts! But after over a decade of my own slut baggery, I’ve come up with another 23. Here’s what I’ve learned while piling up the food at the man buffet. It’s nice to think my exploits will somehow benefit mankind … Keep reading »
Hindsight is 20/20, which is why we can look back on some of the bad sex we had and identify the signs that it was going to be bad before it even happened. Unfortunately, we keep learning new ones, but for now, here are eight signs he’s going to suck in the sack. Help out your fellow womankind by sharing any signs you’ve come across in the comments. Keep reading »
“I think you’re great,” I told him over martinis on our third date, “but I just don’t think we’re compatible.” Mike was smart, interesting, and nice … too nice when we slept together for the first time earlier that week. There had been no throwdown, no frantic disrobing, no moaning loud enough to wake the neighbors, no playfulness. Instead, there was soft music playing in the background, gentle kisses on my eyelids, careful caressing, uncomfortable, unwavering eye contact, and … Oh, God, is he making love to me? Keep reading »