Tag Archives: bad sex

23 Bad Sex Moves

Manly Marie Claire blogger Rich Santos posted 7 downright horrible lame guy sex moves. From the mid make-out pass-out to leaving the TV on, it was a list of real oh-no-he-didn’ts! But after over a decade of my own slut baggery, I’ve come up with another 23. Here’s what I’ve learned while piling up the food at the man buffet. It’s nice to think my exploits will somehow benefit mankind … Keep reading »

8 Signs He’ll Be Bad In Bed

Hindsight is 20/20, which is why we can look back on some of the bad sex we had and identify the signs that it was going to be bad before it even happened. Unfortunately, we keep learning new ones, but for now, here are eight signs he’s going to suck in the sack. Help out your fellow womankind by sharing any signs you’ve come across in the comments. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Is Bad First-Time Nookie A Dealbreaker?

“I think you’re great,” I told him over martinis on our third date, “but I just don’t think we’re compatible.” Mike was smart, interesting, and nice … too nice when we slept together for the first time earlier that week. There had been no throwdown, no frantic disrobing, no moaning loud enough to wake the neighbors, no playfulness. Instead, there was soft music playing in the background, gentle kisses on my eyelids, careful caressing, uncomfortable, unwavering eye contact, and … Oh, God, is he making love to me? Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: What Was Your Worst Sexual Performance?

Last night, while I was writing my piece on the 7 types of sex that don’t have to count, I IM’d with a guy friend of mine, who said the one sexual experience he doesn’t always count is the one in which he, um, sucked. Which got me thinking of the bad sex I’ve had thanks to the occasional dude who couldn’t get it up and then I realized I’ve never actually asked the fellas on my IM about the worst they’ve ever been in bed. I sought to rectify that immediately. Keep reading »

12 Signs He’ll Be Bad In Bed

We’ve talked about how you can tell the size of a guy’s penis before sampling the goods, but how can you tell how he’s gonna be in bed before doing the deed? Oh, I’m so glad you asked! Women — and men — the world over have had to learn the hard way (or, as the case may be, the not so hard way) that their new guy doesn’t have it going on between the sheets. Now you can be spared their agony! After the jump, 12 signs you know he’ll be bad in bed (without even taking your clothes off). Keep reading »

Three Words We Don’t Want To Hear After Sex

One of the current trends on Twitter has users tweeting the three words they wouldn’t like to hear after sex. Personally, any of the following would give me a panic attack: “that was it,” “nice try sucker,” or “that tasted bad.” After the jump, 10 of our faves from Twitter — and add yours in the comments! Keep reading »

Thoughts From Guys On Our IM: How Can A Woman Be Bad In Bed?

Most people like to think of themselves as good in bed. Sometimes, they can be very, very wrong. It’s pretty easy to spot a guy who’s crap in the sack — he jackhammers, he doesn’t hit any of the right spots, he’s like an octopus — but what do guys find so awful they’d consider a woman a bad lay? I mean, don’t they always get off? And if so, isn’t that pretty good? I went to the boys to find out. Shockingly enough, they answered this one readily, and they all agreed on one key thing: If you aren’t into it, they aren’t either. Keep reading »

How To Tell A Man He’s Bad In Bed

Mike Alvear wrote a two-part series on how to tell a man or a woman he or she is bad in bed. For dudes, he suggests they repeatedly ask their ladies what she likes in bed in hopes she’ll get the hint and ask what he likes. He also advises bringing up the conversation casually while ready the morning paper (not in bed and definitely not just after sex), and telling a woman what you want more of and not less of. For women, he makes the same suggestions, but advises them to have their conversation side-by-side and not face-to-face since, he says, men are intimidated by eye contact. His advice is OK, but it’s a little passive-aggressive. I get that it’s a fine line to tiptoe, but with a gentle touch a little constructive criticism never killed a guy. After the jump, five ways to let your guy know his “skills” leave a little to be desired. Keep reading »

More Than A Feeling: Study Finds Emotionally Intelligent Women Have Better Sex

Smart women have the best sex. Duh.

After interviewing over 2,000 sets of adult women twins, who have identical everythings, Professor Tim Spector, a researcher at King’s College in London, found that if a lady isn’t afraid to express herself and picks up on what other people are expressing, she’s an orgasmic machine who can satisfy her partner like none other. Shockingly enough, being a “touchy-feely” kind of gal isn’t as bad as it sounds. Sure, it might cause an awkward moment every now and again — I’m still sorry I hugged my ex-boss at the company Christmas party — but the good part of expressing your emotions means more feelings in your tunnel of love. Spector is convinced that “these findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life, including the bedroom.” The researchers hope to use their evidence to help the nearly 40 percent of women who say they can’t get off.

So, next time someone tells you to stop being so emotional, tell them to stop trying to ruin your sex life. Feel free to pop in “The Notebook” DVD, open a tub of Ben ‘n’ Jerry’s, and let those tear ducts drip. Feelings are the new foreplay. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: Really Bad Sex

Peter owning up to Googling me on our first date should have been the first warning sign. Don’t get me wrong: I Google, you Google, we all Google acquaintances. Doing it in private is one thing. Saying it out loud is another.

“Did I tell you who I work for?” I asked. It was technically a blind date, as we’d corresponded only a few times through an online dating service.

“Oh, no, but I think I know,” he said.

“How is that possible?”

“Oh, well … I Googled you.” Point blank. I Googled you. Keep reading »