This season of “Bachelor Pad” atoned for all of its boringness in the finale. Let’s start off light, before I delve into the dark and dirty underbelly where people betray one another and we ponder the ways in which money corrupts human beings. Let’s start with Jamie’s ridiculous Pocahontas outfit. It’s as if she thought we would forget what a lunatic she was on the show by dressing like an even bigger lunatic for the finale. It didn’t work. I had almost forgotten. But her outfit brought all the cringeworthy memories back — the awkward makeout session with Chris, how she wanted to fall in love on TV so her kids could see it. Ugh. And just like the false eyelashes and face jewelry she wore, her Padmates called her out for being “fake.” But one couple found something real. Find out which couple, to quote Rihanna, “found love in a hopeless place,” after the jump. Keep reading »
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SPOILERS galore! This week’s “Pad” challenge was called “Hanging By A Thread”, a fitting description for my interest in the show. I hate to say this, but “Bachelor Pad” is about as dead to me as Rachel is to Jaclyn after she eliminates her and they are no longer “best friends.” I’m sorry if I spoiled anything for you. Another best friendship RUINED by “Bachelor Pad.” But before Jaclyn and Ed are sent motoring in the reject limo, Ed has the opportunity to make his “dream come true” by doing a live performance of one of his “favorite” songs from his “running mix” — “Sister Christian” by Night Ranger. It soon turns into a nightmare for us all. But the kind that’s super fun to laugh about together. Shall we do that? Guaranteed laughs after the jump. Keep reading »
Now that all of the interesting contestants have been kicked off “Bachelor Pad,” there are very few ways to keep the viewers watching. A spelling bee and confessions are what the producers opt for. The remaining “Pad” members are happy to oblige, dredging up the best they have to offer in the way of DEEP, DARK, T-I-T-I-L-L-A-T-I-N-G “Bachelor Pad” confessions. Well, not really, but I wanted to make a reference to the spelling bee. Thanks for humoring me. More after the jump. Keep reading »
*Spoiler alerts abound! * “Bachelor Pad” producers inadvertently shit on their own show last night by trying to save their villain Chris. Everyone wanted that diabolical douche out of there after last week’s love square fallout, but then the “Pad” gods intervened and ended up sacrificing the only two people who ever say remotely amusing things — Michael Stagliano and Erica Rose. Your stupid plan backfired, producers. Is there even any reason to watch anymore? Not really. Blakelely can be mildly entertaining at times and Ed is fun to laugh at when he’s drunk. But can they carry a show? HELL NO. After the jump, how karma farted on Michael and shined on Chris … and some interesting moments in between. Keep reading »
Forget about love triangles. BORING. Monday night’s episode of “Bachelor Pad” involved a love square. How does one even get involved in a love square? Good question. Chris seems to have figured it out. As Sage Stagliano (who’s dubbed himself “coach” of the house) put it, “He’s going around starting lots of little fires in girls’ pants, and when you play with fire you’re gonna get burned.” That is correct, Michael. After the jump, how Chris managed to start a string of panty fires. Seriously, I don’t get what these girls find attractive about him. Keep reading »
Lots of spoilers alert. There are so many things we could talk about from last night’s episode of “Bachelor Pad.” Um, the “Hot Sludge Funday” complete with a “nut sack” and a cherry on top? Who thinks up these challenges and may I offer my services? Maybe a penis car wash would be fun? Or we could focus on Jamie’s complete emotional meltdown at the prom (we’ve all been there) and subsequent throwing of herself at Chris. “I just want to fall in love on TV and show my kids,” she gushed. We haven’t all been there. Jamie has officially succeeded in making me forget about that time on “The Bachelor” when she straddled Ben Flajnik and tried to kiss him. ‘Member that? Or how about that drunken Ed/ Jaclyn hookup. Where is it? I don’t have any underwear on. I see it. What are you going to do with it? Ed singing. What is your name again? You can watch their super-romantic hookup above. Jillian Harris must be saying a prayer of thanks at this moment. Keep reading »
Dating Don’ts: Quit Trying So Hard (As Demonstrated By Two Contestants On Last Night’s Episode Of “Bachelor Pad”)
While watching last night’s episode of “Bachelor Pad,” I had two distinct thoughts: 1) Michael Stagliano is the only normal person on this show and 2) the worst thing you can do on a date is try too hard. I have been so, so guilty of this. I’m sure all of us have. But this was like my dating self’s tragic flaw. As a former actress, the instinct to impress was ingrained in me, and this extended to my love life. I thought I had to give ‘em a little extra flair to make them cast me as the part of “girlfriend.” Wrong.
I didn’t do this physically. I brought gifts. This is as embarrassing for me to talk about as it is for you to read. There were cookies baked, mixed CDs made, a copy of The Unbearable Lightness of Being with a hand-written inscription presented. All before the third date. As you can probably guess, these guys ran for the hills. They were probably frightened. Just as frightened as Jamie was when Ryan over-celebrated her birthday — spelling her name out in licorice on her bed, giving her flowers and balloons, and getting her sushi. Or as uncomfortable as Michael was when Donna presented him with a sketch of his face during their date one-on-one time. Cringe. Keep reading »
Before I begin here, I should confess that I decided to stop watching “The Bachelorette” as of this past season. I had many reasons for this decision, the most important being that Emily bores me to tears. So, this means that I don’t recognize a few of the players on the new season of “Bachelor Pad,” which is fine considering they’ve decided to include a few “fans” as contestants this season. And I don’t recognize them either. Well, most of them. But more on that later.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the first episode of “Bachelor Pad” was a bit of a snooze. The only person I found myself caring about was last season’s winner Michael Stagliano, who seems like a normal guy. Why the hell does he keep doing the show? What is he getting out of it? He already won. He already got his heart broken twice by “Bachelor” bitches. Is he a masochist? I know four, non-crazy girls right here in The Frisky office who would be happy to have him. Oh, and Erica Rose is always fun to watch. But for a much different reason. She gives the best snarky one-liners. All that being said, the four most exciting (is that the right word?) moments of last night’s episode are after the jump. Keep reading »
After being booted off “The Bachelorette” on Monday night’s episode, Chris Bukowski is confirmed as the final “Bachelor Pad 3″ contestant. Get ready for a heaping helping of drama, hookups, and roses when “Bachelor Pad” returns for its third season on July 23.
This season’s contestants include the standard “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” rejects — some more entertaining than others — but there is a new twist this go-around, as there will also be five “superfans” (including twin sisters who count as one — yeah, I don’t get it either) competing for $250,000, with a possible side of romance. But let’s be honest, what we are really excited for is the crazy, which isBachelor Pad’s claim to fame. Even Chris proved in his final moments on Emily’s season that he had enough edge for the spin-off with his closing statement: “I’m 10 times the man of all those fucking dudes that are still there right now.” And what better way to see what we can expect from this group of rose rejects than to review their best and worst moments on TV? So check out this season’s standout contestants and their most dramatic moments from the “Bachelor” franchise now! Read more…
Last night’s season finale of “Bachelor Pad” was kind of like McDonald’s Supersize French Fries—it was three hours long, loaded with salt, and left me feeling kind of woozy after I devoured it. So, were Kasey and Vienna able to strong-arm themselves into the win? Did Holly gravitate back toward Michael or stay fixated on Blake? How does Ella’s new face look? And who won the freaking money? Find out after the jump as I recap the good, bad, and WTF moments of last night. Keep reading »