This Thanksgiving, I arrived at my aunt and uncle’s house to see my 7-year-old nephew in the backyard pulling a plastic toy bow-and-arrow about 2 feet away from my 5-year-old niece’s face. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” I barked before I even said “hello.” I pushed the plastic arrow so it was away from her face and aiming towards the ground.
“We’re playing with my bow-and-arrow!” My nephew told me, defensively.
“Yeah!” My niece said, still young enough to be adorably oblivious to how close she was to becoming a Cyclops.
“You don’t hold a bow-and-arrow so close to someone’s face!” I snapped. “She could lose an eyeball that way. Aim it towards the ground!” I stomped off, shooting a dirty look at my brothers-in-law who were standing nearby but perhaps not paying close enough attention to their kids.
Hours later we were all on the living room floor playing a rousing game of sea life-themed Go Fish. The 5-year-old sat in my lap while we played together as a team. Then her 3-year-old sister, this adorable little blond peanut of a girl, wanted to sit on my lap, too. There’s something about snuggling a little kid — especially one with a lisp, who pronounces “crab” as “cwab” — that can make a woman’s ovaries go completely bonkers. Keep reading »