So pregnancy is supposed to be the most exciting time of your life, right? Yet, you are going bonkers. The train is late, the new office chair you ordered won’t be delivered on time, you just ran out of cereal and the deli is closed. This is so cataclysmic that you are seriously considering throwing yourself off a bridge here and now, because how can you possibly bring a child into such an inefficient world?! And furthermore, how will you even cope with a baby, when your husband has to physically restrain you from assaulting the clerk at Gap because they just ran out of your size in maternity jeans?
Some women sail through their pregnancies with nary a misfiring neuron, but if you have ever felt the churning anger that splashes the backs of your eyes and temporarily blinds you, or the black futility of depression, where the mere thought of rising from your bed fills you with horror, then you know what it feels like to be hormonal.
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When it comes to baby-craving, I am a complete lady cliché. I remark that my own ovaries are rotting between bites of huevos rancheros at brunch. I joke about having a back-up plan that involves “accidentally” getting knocked up by someone handsome, successful, and smart. Just this morning, I got an email from a pregnant friend, who is due any day now, telling me she was having minor contractions and I got teary-eyed. So, when I read the headline “Women ‘should freeze ovaries in their twenties’,” I felt the urge to mentally flagellate myself for being nearly 31 with only Trader Joe’s mac ‘n’ cheese in my freezer. Fertility scare tactics work like a charm on me. But not this one! Keep reading »
Rachel Dratch had been keeping the identity of her baby daddy on the DL. But she is finally revealing who’s the father of three-month-old Eli Benjamin. Drumroll please … Actually, it’s no one we’ve ever heard of. He’s a random dude named John Wahl. Don’t get out of your chair. The part I’m obsessed with is their love story. Keep reading »
Celine Dion gave birth to her twin boys on Saturday. But the little dudes still don’t have names yet. “I’ve read nearly 15,000 names,” the singer, 42, tells French magazine Gala, “and nothing has stuck.”“Because [my other son] René-Charles goes to school in the United States, he’s suggested English first names. My mother, on the other hand, has been hinting about very French first names and we’re going a little bit crazy trying to decide.” [People]
Don’t worry, Celine. We’ve got some name ideas for you! Keep reading »
Since there can never be too many cute babies in costumes, here’s another to get you through this not-quite-Friday-yet afternoon. I know we all made our cradle lists yesterday and everything, but you know, if we get busy, like, right now, we can have our own babies to dress like this next year. [via BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
The other day, on my personal blog, I confessed to having started a list of things I want to do/accomplish before I have a baby. Someone in the comments section alerted me to a recent episode of “How I Met Your Mother” where such a list is referred to as a “cradle list,” which I thought was a great name for it. So, I’m wondering: Do you have a cradle list, and if so, what’s on it? You don’t have to be in a relationship or even be planning to have kids anytime soon to have such a list – maybe yours might include “find a partner,” or “decide whether I want kids.” Keep reading »