Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Tag Archives: babies
I’m a big fan of videos featuring other people’s kids trying something new for the first time and laughing about it. Like that little boy who was filmed by his dad after a trip to the dentist and he was all high on whatever they gave him and was kind of tripping out — that made me howl. But the trend of filming your babies eating PopRocks candy for the first time gives me pause. I want to think it’s adorable and funny, but then I remember that I actually hate PopRocks and think the little jumping pieces of sugar kind of hurt. I sure as hell wouldn’t be down with someone putting them in my mouth without my permission, especially if I was barely able to walk and, as is the case of young Beckett, above, not even old enough to eat solid food. So, yeah, I dunno. Catherine thinks it’s cruel and she is basically the moral center of The Frisky. Jessica, meanwhile, has a heart made of marshmallows and rainbows, and she thinks it’s cute. What do you think? Harmless fun or child cruelty?! [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
There’s no reason to plead with you to see a movie this week because for once, there is a whole lot of awesomeness, coming to a theater near you. If you’re not planning on seeing “Iron Man 2,” you are going to feel super left out at the water cooler on Monday. It’s simply un-American to not see it. You like America, right? Also, drink Coca-Cola. Even if you’re not feeling the iron, there are two mommy-centric movies, “Mother and Child” and “Babies,” which are sure to shake up some ovaries. And then there are two, truly awesome-looking indie flicks, “Please Give” and “The Good Heart.” There really is something for everyone, so go get your movie on. Keep reading »
Shocking, I know, but I had to break the news some time: Our fabulous funbags are actually biologically designed to feed hungry babies, not just to look tasty in a Body by Victoria C-cup. Alas, some Neanderthals can’t handle such a bombshell about breasts — namely, folks in corporate America who’ll do everything from tweet (and delete!) to kick a nursing mother out of a restaurant at the slightest hint of a snacking infant.
I’ve got a beautiful little boy who turns 6 next week. I got him through rather unconventional means. Well actually, the means were fairly conventional — sex in a traditional position, if memory serves — but entirely accidental.
I had a one-night stand when I was 39, with a guy I’d met at a bar. Not my most ladylike act, and certainly not sensible, but I had been suffering from a case of prolonged unintentional celibacy, and the guy was just adorable.
No, I don’t have any diseases, but thanks for your concern, which I’m sure will be expressed in the comments. I know it wasn’t smart. What I didn’t know was that my ancient ovaries were functioning better than I ever would have dreamed. When you’re 39, you sort of assume pregnancy will involve a trip to the fertility doctor.
The email perplexed me:
Joanne, Sorry to sound pathetic, but have I done something to offend you? — Michelle*
There was no clue, no context. Really, was I on my own here to deconstruct what the hell Michelle, a college buddy from 12 years back, was referring to? How could she have done anything offensive when we hadn’t spoken in more than a few months?
This discovery came on a recent Saturday morning; while mulling over my response, I poured myself a second cup of coffee and settled into the couch again with my laptop for another weekend ritual, catching up on Facebook, where Michelle’s status update, I suspected, was designed for my eyes: “Is it still possible to remain friends with someone whom you have very little in common? I thought it was.” Double-whammy. WTF? Keep reading »
I’m not a mom, and the thought of becoming one scares the crap out of me. And here’s yet one more reason motherhood freaks me out—”teething bling.” Necklaces with donut-shaped pendants made specifically to go in your baby’s mouth when she’s teething. Horrifying mental flash-forward: Not only have I lowered my style standards to include amethyst jewelry in my wardrobe, but I also have baby spit all over the front of my dress.
On the other hand, moms probably have baby spit all over them anyhow. And I guess the alternatives to soothing a teething child aren’t much more appealing—fingers or jewelry you really like. So what scares me even more is that I actually see the usefulness in this object. But, uh, couldn’t the kid just settle for a Ring Pop or something? [Smart Mom] Keep reading »
SandraRose.com featured this sad story of a mother (her name was kept anonymous, probably better for her safety) who got really sick and tired of her baby being so … bald. “It’s never too early for my baby to start looking glamorous like Beyonce!” said the mother. What did she decide to do about the problem? She gave her kid some long, luxurious locks, natch. Don’t worry, she didn’t get her a weave, which could be painful and dangerous for baby’s head. She got her a less dangerous, yet still fiercely fashionable, lace front wig. “I wouldn’t be caught dead without my lace front and my baby won’t either,” this doting mother explained. OK. I’m not laughing anymore. Does this scare the crap out of anyone else? I don’t know whether to cry or call Child Protective Services. What if this trend catches on? Then what’s next? Thong diapers? [SandraRose.com] Keep reading »