The email perplexed me:
Joanne, Sorry to sound pathetic, but have I done something to offend you?
There was no clue, no context. Really, was I on my own here to deconstruct what the hell Michelle, a college buddy from 12 years back, was referring to? How could she have done anything offensive when we hadn’t spoken in more than a few months?
This discovery came on a recent Saturday morning; while mulling over my response, I poured myself a second cup of coffee and settled into the couch again with my laptop for another weekend ritual, catching up on Facebook, where Michelle’s status update, I suspected, was designed for my eyes: “Is it still possible to remain friends with someone whom you have very little in common? I thought it was.” Double-whammy. WTF? Keep reading »
I’m not a mom, and the thought of becoming one scares the crap out of me. And here’s yet one more reason motherhood freaks me out—”teething bling.” Necklaces with donut-shaped pendants made specifically to go in your baby’s mouth when she’s teething. Horrifying mental flash-forward: Not only have I lowered my style standards to include amethyst jewelry in my wardrobe, but I also have baby spit all over the front of my dress.
On the other hand, moms probably have baby spit all over them anyhow. And I guess the alternatives to soothing a teething child aren’t much more appealing—fingers or jewelry you really like. So what scares me even more is that I actually see the usefulness in this object. But, uh, couldn’t the kid just settle for a Ring Pop or something? [Smart Mom] Keep reading »
SandraRose.com featured this sad story of a mother (her name was kept anonymous, probably better for her safety) who got really sick and tired of her baby being so … bald. “It’s never too early for my baby to start looking glamorous like Beyonce!” said the mother. What did she decide to do about the problem? She gave her kid some long, luxurious locks, natch. Don’t worry, she didn’t get her a weave, which could be painful and dangerous for baby’s head. She got her a less dangerous, yet still fiercely fashionable, lace front wig. “I wouldn’t be caught dead without my lace front and my baby won’t either,” this doting mother explained. OK. I’m not laughing anymore. Does this scare the crap out of anyone else? I don’t know whether to cry or call Child Protective Services. What if this trend catches on? Then what’s next? Thong diapers? [SandraRose.com] Keep reading »
The Smart Baby Case pod was designed by Iranian Pouyan Mokhtaran for Samsonite, which tasked designers with developing new and easier ways of traveling with babies. The pod is suitable for everyday travel or disaster scenarios, suggests Mokhtaran, because it has several “safety breath” doors, an air purification unit, a communication system and LED screen, an auto-rocking unit, and custom-fitted foam pads that surround the baby. And the Auto Diaper unit wraps around the baby’s bottom, senses moisture, and gently flushes liquid and solid waste into the waste storage unit — you never have to change a soiled diaper. But there are some serious downsides to the product: You have to empty the waste storage unit periodically and your baby has to remain naked from the waist down. Studies have shown that touch is an important aspect of a baby’s development, something the Smart Baby Case doesn’t seem to take into account. Plus, won’t babies miss out on social interaction if they’re always viewing life through a window? I’m surprised this case doesn’t have a feeding tube that also connects to the baby. What are your thoughts? Is this pod-like case the wave of the future or just another overly protective device? [Impact Lab] Keep reading »
When I saw the trailer for the movie “Babies” — a documentary about four babies living in different parts of the world — before a screening of “Where The Wild Things Are,” my uterus literally started to cry from the overload of cuteness. But then I realized I had just gotten my period and I should probs make a run for the loo and put in a tampon. [BuzzFeed
] Keep reading »
This month, the French edition of Marie Claire ran a spread featuring jewelry with babies as the models. Was this supposed to be a cute idea that turned out ultra creepy? Is that baby wearing a bracelet as an arm cuff? The tagline: “My baby, my treasure … ” [MarieClaire.fr] Keep reading »
I am so not OK with the baby onesies above, or any of the others BuzzFeed found for “douchebags in training.” [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »
Oh, my throbbing ovaries! President Obama played peek-a-boo with pint-sized Maeve Beliveau, the daughter of a staffer. So much cuter than him playing chicken with Iran, isn’t it? [White House Flickr] Keep reading »
OK, fauxhawks on babies are totally awesome, but this is not: Le Baby hair gel “thickens baby fine hair,” so your little dumplin’ can look just like Gwen Stefani‘s son, Zuma Rossdale. Plus, Le Baby doesn’t contain any of those fragrances and polysyllabic chemicals that fretful mommies hate! Gee, I thought I wanted to be one of those “cool” moms who gives her baby a funky lil’ mohawk. Then I realized I’d be purchasing styling products for someone who still poops his pants. [Le Baby Inc.] Keep reading »