I am so not OK with the baby onesies above, or any of the others BuzzFeed found for “douchebags in training.” [BuzzFeed]

Oh, my throbbing ovaries! President Obama played peek-a-boo with pint-sized Maeve Beliveau, the daughter of a staffer. So much cuter than him playing chicken with Iran, isn’t it? [White House Flickr]

OK, fauxhawks on babies are totally awesome, but this is not: Le Baby hair gel “thickens baby fine hair,” so your little dumplin’ can look just like Gwen Stefani‘s son, Zuma Rossdale. Plus, Le Baby doesn’t contain any of those fragrances and polysyllabic chemicals that fretful mommies hate! Gee, I thought I wanted to be one of those “cool” moms who gives her baby a funky lil’ mohawk. Then I realized I’d be purchasing styling products for someone who still poops his pants. [Le Baby Inc.]

Ask almost any childless women in her 30s to name five things that have been on her mind lately, and there’s a good chance she’ll mention her biological clock. It may not be the first thing she names — her career, the economy, saving for a house, her parents’ health, the health of her relationship, finishing her dissertation, fitting back into her skinny jeans, and finding someone to share her life with may be getting more of her attention; but for a vast majority of us, the idea of having kids is something we think about nearly as much, if not more, than almost everything else. After all, our biological clocks and the issues of when, whether, and how long we have left to procreate determine so many other variables in our life. And for those of us who wait until our 30s — a quickly growing number of us these days — it’s a decision we face when the stakes are especially high.

I don’t care if I don’t have any babies yet, I’m buying this vampire teeth pacifier for my future kiddie. Sure, baby time is still a couple years away, but do any of you actually see the vampire trend ending any time in the next decade? And even if it does magically move on before I have kids, a baby isn’t going to care if she’s sporting a passé style. You know what else she won’t care about? That people are pointing and laughing. [$6.70, Amazon]

So that he/she can perform Beyonce’s “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It).” More videos as adorable as this one, here.

Boobs and babies don’t mix ... their boobs, that is. I’ve seen enough pasties for kids and stripper poles for toddlers to get stabby about anything that sexualizes an impressionable kiddo. So I’m not too keen on the breast cancer awareness tees for little girls that say “Find A Cure! Before I Grow Boobies.” Clever T-shirt, yes. But as the aunt of three pre-school aged girls, I feel weird about anything that could draw a creepy person’s attention to their non-existent “boobies.” (FWIW, I’d balk if my nephew had a tee shirt that said “Testicular Cancer: Find A Cure Before My Balls Drop!” too.)  A pink ribbon or something would be just fine to raise awareness, thanks. What do you think: Are these T-shirts kinda icky or are they cute? [Zazzle.com]

I’ve got four words for you, ladies: male models and babies. The male models are hot. The babies are totally cute. It’s like two great tastes that go great together for your eye-candy pleasure. This fine footage was shot behind the scenes at a shoot for the “Baby Daddy” layout in the September issue of Out magazine. (You can check out the snaps here and here.) The male clothes hangers photographed by Matthias Vriens McGrath include Noah Mills, Leandro Maeder, and Oraine Barrett, and I can safely say there is not one among them that I would kick out of bed for eating crackers. Sure, the clothes are fine, but are the babies and the boys for sale, too? [The Cut]

It’s been a new day, a new preggers Hollywood actress and/or model lately. In fact, sometimes it seem like babies are the new It bag of choice for some women—who needs Chanel or Chloe when you can tote around a living, breathing Hermes (Hello, Kelly Rutherford)? And now the men folk are getting in on it. Out magazine’s “Baby Daddy” spread features not only some of the most in-demand male models around, but also ... babies as props! Screw designer murses—this is all about the well-dressed man and his genetically blessed kid. Check out some of the photos, after the jump. [Design Scene]

We love us some beh-behs as much as the next twentysomething woman with a ticktockticktock sound coming out of her ovaries. But this sounds like a bad story from The National Enquirer: a woman in Gafsa, Tunisia, is preggo with 12 babies, thanks to fertility treatments. Her identity has not been revealed yet, but she is said to be a married teacher who turned to fertility docs after several miscarriages. Thank heavens this baby bonanza is happening in Tunisia, an unlikely locale for paparazzi to schlep when they’re done camping out outside of Nadya Suleman‘s house. Seriously, wannabe parents and fertility doctors, ENOUGH with the crazy multiple pregnancies already. [Sun UK]

After doctors in Paraguay tried to resuscitate a premature baby for an hour, they gave up and pronounced him dead. They issued a death certificate and put the baby in a box. The baby’s father was carrying the box containing his sons “remains” to the funeral when he heard a small cry. Daddy opened the box and found that his child was breathing. Apparently, the kid’s pulse was so low that the doctor couldn’t detect it. Now, this preemie is back in intensive care, hopefully with a different doc. It sounds like a Stephen King novel, but let’s hope the little guy pulls through. [Guanabee]

Right after giving birth to her son, James, new mama Joanne Mackie started finding blisters on her arms and legs. A few days later, she winced whenever anything touched the painful rash and the tiny blisters that had blossomed into painful welts. Joanne was in such agony she could no longer hold her baby and daddy took over. The new mother was stumped, but a trip to the doctor was even more baffling. Joanne was allergic to her baby. The 28-year-old mother suffers from a rare but painful and dangerous skin disease, Pemphigoid Gestationis.

One abortion or miscarriage raises the risk of giving birth to a premature baby by 20 percent, while two abortions or miscarriages raises the same risk by 90 percent, according to Dr. Robbert van Oppenraaij of the Erasmus MC University Medical Center in The Netherlands. Dr. van Oppenraaij presented his findings, which are based on 75 studies about complications during pregnancy between 1980 and 2008, at European Society of Human Production conference in Amsterdam this week. [Mirror UK]

Pregnant women no longer have to wait nine months to carry their baby in their arms. Jorge Lopes invented a way to converts data from ultrasound machines and MRI scans into plaster models of the babies. Lopes uses 3-D technology to create the models, which are on display at the Royal College of Art in London. Now you might ask why someone would want a replica of their growing fetus? Well, my guess is it would make an awesome one-of-a-kind paperweight. But seriously, experts say the plaster models will help expectant mothers understand the size of their baby, along with any physical abnormalities it might have. They also say the models could help mothers who have a difficult time naturally bonding with their baby. I’ve never been pregnant, but I don’t think stroking a plaster model of my fetus would make me feel all warm and fuzzy as I pray to the porcelain gods because I had morning sickness. Then again, a series of these, one for every trimester, would totally trump any bronzed baby shoes. [Impact Lab]

Friends aren’t knocked up yet? Fret not. Soon enough, you’ll have Facebook status updates like “So Westley had 4 liquid poopy diapers in 20 minutes” to look forward to.

The hilarious Tumblr Shut The F**k Up, Parents collects the worst of the worst when it comes to new parents sharing TMI on social networking sites: baby barf, boogers, and circumcisions that need to be re-done.  And now I realize that one naked-in-the-tub pic my parents took of me when I was 2 wasn’t as bad as I thought.

Yeah, just because we’re Facebook friends doesn’t mean I want to know what’s in your baby’s diaper. And neither will that little baby in another 10 years when he figures out how to use Google. [STFU, Parents]

When I was a wee little girl, my best friend had a spa party where they did our make up, cut our hair, dolled us up… basically so we could all go home and take naps. Of course, spa parties still exist, but they’ve gotten way cooler. As Mom Logic pointed out, one 6-year-old’s spa party is calling for the “beauty treatment of your choice: a manicure, a pedicure, a classy ‘up-do,’ or a free ear piercing.”  While some mothers are totally disgusted by the ear-piercing thing, I’d RSVP yes in a second!

I do agree that 6 years old can be a bit early to get your ears pierced, which made me wonder, what other things can kids have these days that are a bit too grown up for their age?

A mother’s love is supposed to be unconditional, right? Well, that’s not what a new study released by the Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital found. According to the small study of 27 volunteers, babies that are less attractive might not get as much attention from their mothers.

The Baby Gender Mentor kit seemed like a godsend to expectant mothers who wanted to know the sex of their babies before the delivery. The mothers shelled out $25 for the kit and $250 for results. But the company couldn’t deliver on its promise. Although it promised 99.9 percent accuracy, the Baby Gender Mentor kit inaccurately concluded the sex of six infants. The moms have filed a lawsuit in New York City because they say they were stiffed out of a promised 200 percent refund, and the incorrect results severely impacted their lives.

Cameron Diaz thinks your kids are bad for the environment.

Well, no, not really. But she told Cosmopolitan she thinks women shouldn’t be pressured into procreating or “shunned” for not having kids because “honestly, we don’t need anymore kids. We have plenty of people on this planet already.”

While we agree with Cameron that it’s b.s. women still get hassled for not raising rugrats, we can think of far better reasons than old Mother Nature for staying childless. Our reasons, after the jump…