Here is the recipe for Avril Lavigne’s music video for her new single, “Hello Kitty”:
- 10 heaping scoops of Gwen Stefani’s Harajuku appropriation phase
- 3 cups Skrillex hair
- 2 cups assorted Skrillex noises (OK to sub generic brand “Scrillecks” here)
- 1.5 cups “Wait, isn’t Avril Lavigne my age? Why is this making me feel so old? Why is this song so loud? Why is she still singing about slumber parties?”
- 5 tablespoons PROBLEMATIC
- 2 tablespoons of that time you had a Skittles-eating contest with your brother and vomited rainbow-colored bile.
- A pinch of the most awkward sushi restaurant scene since you saw a white guy bow to the chef at a conveyer belt sushi restaurant in a suburban strip mall in Utah.
- Crumble “SERIOUSLY THOUGH, WTF” over the top and bake until crisp.
Yeeeepppp, that just about sums it up. Avril, you know I always want to have your back, but not this time. I’m going to go take two aspirin and lie down for awhile.
Any day that the Backstreet Boys announce a new tour is a great day, but when they announce a North American tour to support one of their best albums ever, with Avril fucking Lavigne as a special guest, well, today just became the best day of my life. As awesome as the Backstreet Boys/New Kids On The Block tour was, my inner child (who is actually my inner teen, forever trapped in 1998, listening to “Complicated” on repeat, wishing she could fit into L.E.I. flare jeans) is way more stoked about this one. Tickets go on sale March 21st, and the tour kicks off in Canada on May 3rd, with the first American stop in Seattle on May 22nd. So far I’m not seeing any dates in Nashville, which is severely disappointing, but I guess that means a road trip to Chicago is in order. Check out the list of US tour dates after the jump! Keep reading »
“We don’t drink when we’re apart. Ever. Even if we’re apart for weeks. We don’t want to go [to nightclubs or] anywhere that you’re asking for trouble. I don’t want to be in Europe texting her, like ‘Where are you?’ This way we don’t have to worry about any of that stuff.”
–Chad Kroeger tells People that one of his and Avril Lavigne’s rules for a happy, Chavril-tastic marriage is a pledge to only drink together. I’m all about doing whatever works for you, but I also feel like they might want to work on their trust issues instead of making rules. Does anyone want to discuss the intricacies of Chavril’s marriage with me? No? OK. Some of the couple’s other tips for a happy relationship: don’t go more than two weeks without seeing each other, and make plenty of time for snuggling. You’re welcome! [People]
I know I’m pretty much the only one who still cares about Chavril LaKroeger, AKA Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne, and every time I post stuff about them I get kind of nervous that Amelia is going to take me aside and be like, “Winona, it’s time to chill out about Chavril.” But since she hasn’t said anything yet, here is a super romantic photo of Chavril on the set of the video for their duet, “Let Me Go.” In related news, I just discovered I have THREE different photos saved on my computer titled “super romantic chavril pic.” Sigh. It might be time for me to chill out about Chavril… [Instagram]
Fresh off the release of an amaaaaaazing duet with her husband Chad Kroeger, Avril Lavigne ditched her “Tank Girl”-inspired duds and about half her usual amount of black eyeliner for an editorial shoot with Bello magazine. Here’s the punk pop princess in two demure gingham outfits by Prada. She looks quite lovely, although I really, really wish Chad had made a dapper-suited cameo. [Daily Mail]