Tag Archives: astrosexology

For The Week Of July 21-27, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’re a lady that’s always ready for anything. However, fate has other ideas for you this week and the first thing to go will be your judgment. Throw caution and your panties to the wind, as being naughty is the only way you’ll know how to respond to new places and faces. Love it as your mind and body gets reeled around situations never quite imagined before.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

When it comes to friends, you don’t mind blending in the crowd, being the supporting member or the one that’s, “all for one and one for all.” Well, no more. The spotlight is calling your name and it’s time to trump those bitches with one up on them that’ll make them all putrid with envy and idolizing the ground you walk on. Sweet sensation no more, valiant vixen all the way.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Who you are and who the world thinks you are do not match up. In your mind, sensitivity and uncertainly loom way more than apparent on the outside — and it should stay that way. This week, you’ll be in a prime position to start negotiating a better deal in life and love. Use that poker face of yours to get what you want. People will be too scared to say, “No.”

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Reality is not a place you thrive in and thankfully; you won’t have to spend much time in there for the next few weeks. As of the 23rd, life will be rolling at a much faster pace with many more exciting chances to fly farther off the ends of the earth and live the impossible. The best news of it all, you’ll finally have a competent co-pilot that’ll know what buttons to push.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your house of sex, death, mystery and transformation is lighting up and turning up the drama to the umpteenth degree, heightening your senses to astronomical levels of love, lust and power. To say the least, you’ll be getting your kink on and releasing all the tension that’s been making you clumsy. Yes, all your upcoming tawdry antics will be realigning your chi.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

No matter what stress come up in your life, it won’t matter. You’ll be able to stick needles in your eyeballs and not feel a thing, as the divine power of love will be taking you and your baby through a magical journey to never before adventures that’ll have you both knowing that if it’s you and him against the world, all things are possible.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Once the honeymoon ends, the pounds start rolling on. You’ve seen it happen before and you should be damned to let it happen again — to you and your boo. Comfort is great, but not if it’s making you complacent. Let vanity drive your egos and athletic competition fuel your libidos by jumpstarting fitness routines as part of your couple’s shtick. Harder bodies, hotter sex.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Love, it can make you crazy. You know you like your life to have order — however; don’t start skimping on the excitement to get it. Sure, your current lover man might not be able to fill the boots you do, in terms of militant authority and command, but he can make you laugh and for that, it makes him worth his weight in gold. Seriously, lighten up!

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Hopefully you live alone and don’t have to deal with an overbearing ego out to get too possessive or bossy on your ass. If you do happen to find yourself in that predicament, know the only way you can combat that power and get the peace back in your life is to turn up the chaos and have him realizing the level you are operating now is compromising.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Beware of what you fess up to this week. Your words have power and to the wrong ears, you can be promising way more than you want to deliver. Save yourself the efforts of having to join a witness protection program and don’t talk a bigger game than you want to play. Psychos are abound and their target is you.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Dating like a label whore isn’t going to make you happy or feel any cooler. Sure, superficial hotness is a novelty you can’t help but indulge in when the opportunity arrives, but you know that empty calorie romance blows. So, keep this in mind when a hot, but vapid stud enters into the scene. Sure, do him, but don’t convince yourself you can love him.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

All that saving for a rainy day comes to an end today, when you just say, “F’ it,” and throw the self-discipline out the door. Whatever you’ve been holding yourself back on, thinking it’s good for you, just isn’t. Extravagance, flamboyance and absolute drama are your thing and without it, you aren’t really being you. Don’t deny your destiny!

For The Week Of June 30-July 6, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It’s that time to take the lead and gather all your friends and his friends into one place and get that happy family vibe circulating. If you can create peace among the crowd, consider it one step closer to having the life you should be living with your honey. Yes, it’ll be nerve-wracking and yes, it won’t necessarily be cake, but if he’s the right one, all will fall into place.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Motivation will be sinking to dismal levels, but your imagination will still be cranking out the kinkiness. What does this all mean? Expect your loud mouth bottom to be working it as full capacity, making the others work to get some. Yes, wielding fear will be your best sex toy and in fact, you might use it so well that in time you can integrate it into your relationship dynamics.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Lie all you want too, but you have a bigger picture that’s filled with so much sap you could almost drown yourself in it. Don’t deny yourself this fantasy, because the more you keep it to yourself, the less chance you have of making it real and the bigger the odds of being miserable. Sure, opening up is painful, but as you’ve learned, only the first time hurts a little.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

It’s not like you’re stupid, but when it comes to scorching passions you’ll say anything to yourself to make it work. It’s not like you’re weak either, but right now you’re just too horny for words. Although mystery, secrets and covert affairs can enhance arousal beyond, understand these consequences you’re playing with may not be worth the price.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Happy times are coming your way and it’s all because of love! Seems even you, Ms. Pragmatic can get that tingly feeling in the pit of her stomach and do silly things, like spend hours finding the right ring tone for your boo. Sure, your IQ points might feel like they are falling at a fast pace, but your sex kitten rating is out the roof. All in all, you’ll be getting a sweet deal.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Saying what’s fair isn’t being a bitch. When it comes to domestic responsibilities, time for equality and change. After all, being a perfect girlfriend does not mean being his thankless maid and hooker. He needs to ante up, show he’s not some slovenly lump, and start hauling ass with gratitude and action. If words don’t change him, withhold your services until he does.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Complications in love are coming. Just as your steady baby gets more driven to go the next step, in walks a sexy stranger that seemingly embodies all your fantasies. While your logic and libido shoot off in two different directions, it’ll be you that has to start facing the music and dealing with where your heart truly lies.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Oddly enough, practicality and tradition will be the things that turn you on the most. Don’t worry; this probably won’t be a permanent change, but something you need to try out just to see how it feels. Sure, flying off to the ends of the earth for just one kiss is usually your style, but what you crave and what will feel the best now is just someone sweet to cuddle with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your temper will shorten by the 2nd, unleashing all your uncensored opinions. Luckily for you though, karma will be on your side. As you’re typically easy going, this bout of verbal diarrhea won’t only feel good for you, but will be just what inspires someone near you to get their crap together. Expect undying gratitude to come your way, and inciting a few crushes your way too.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Despite how much you love to talk, it’s those moments of silence that’ll make you the most enamored with your baby. You know it; being a slug together will be your most romantic encounter this week. Go ahead and explore your comfort levels. If you’re new to each other and not anxiously analyzing the situation, know you’ve found a keeper.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

A more spontaneous you will be out and ready to party like it’s 2999. Let your impetuous tastes lead you were they may, even despite the fact that your mind will be reeling from the pace. Sure, you’ll have lots of paranoias to deal with as you live it up, but as long as you can justify your time by being happy, does anything else really matter?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Consequences that cause guilt aren’t your specialty. Thankfully, you’re a smart cookie and with enough self-analysis you’ll be able to think up the proper excuses that rationalize all your naughty behaviors. Think of it as fate letting you steer karma where you may. After all, you’re strong enough to do anything you set your mind to.

For The Week Of April 14-20, 2008

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Do whatever you have to do, to slow down your mind from churning out the paranoia and analyzing every facet of your life at every moment. Fun, spontaneity and extreme adventure is key to your happiness for the next two weeks. You don’t have to suffer to gain, so stop making your life work that way. Easy go; easy come — literally and metaphorically.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your relationship has been swinging from extreme to extreme over the last few weeks and over the next few days you’ll start wondering what you’re really in it for. Hold on tighter. Chances are you’ll find a nice balance and even a few undiscovered kinky areas to explore. Dive in for what it’s worth and let the natural flow take you where you belong.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Come out of the closet already. Whatever secrets you’re holding onto, unveil them by the 18th and find that peace you crave. Stop trying to map out the consequences and worst-case scenarios, because as you should know, nothing is ever as dramatic as you envision. Come clean and see the world outside your head is way chiller and actually on your side.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

It’s sad, but true, not everyone can be as bright as you wish. They’ll try your patience and make you want to kill, but then they’ll show their kindness and emotions will get the better of you. It’s okay, you’re only human and so are they. Besides, intelligence has nothing to do with sexual ability, so stop over-thinking the situation and accept some packages at face value.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Speak up! The louder you are and the more direct your demands, the more power you gain. Seems whoever is on your mind isn’t being upfront, but don’t worry. It’s not because he’s hiding anything, it’s more or less his own confusion. To get him into working order, plant your ass in the driver’s seat and show him the way. Seriously, being a top is your calling.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

The only way to not add to the tension in your house this week is if you keep the dialogue flowing and the mood light. Yes, this means you’re going to have to be the bigger person and suck it up. Luckily, your perversions will be driving your libido and making you one hot mess for love, translating rather beautifully in the boudoir.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Beware of overestimating your salaciousness. While you’ll be able to talk the talk and walk the walk more supremely that you have in weeks, it won’t mean whom you want to watch will care. If you keep this in mind, your ego won’t be as blown and put you into a better position to aim your sexy intentions for another, more well suited bull’s eye.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

They’ll be no shortage of lust in your life. However, let him step it up by the week’s end and prove to you that he’s worth it. Yes, seems overnight, your standards have shifted and it’ll take more than a pretty face, but a MENSA membership to get into your pants. Thankfully, this means all you have to do is sit back and enjoy the show.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Slowly, but surely the grand scheme of your life starts to make more sense. Soon, your time will be more exclusive, as you’re able to learn to see clearly through the bullshit — thank god! With good news due to arrive soon, it’ll put you in an elevated position of confidence, perfect for looking down at situations and seeing where to cut the ties that no longer work for you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A bombastic “friend” will irritate the hell out of you. However, be careful retaliating and launching a war, because they’ll have way more ammo to fire back with than you. Seems they’ll have no qualms about calling up those shady characters from your past and spilling the skeletons from your closets. Whatever, you always knew he or she was a bitch anyway.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your go it alone attitude needs a break. When it comes to saving your love life from obscurity, admit you need help and call in back up. You have the connections, so make them work for you. Instead of trying to play coy, be direct — it‘s the only trick you haven’t used that is still up your sleeve. Plus, it’ll be the only way to get you the sex you deserve.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Ambition is one of the hottest things about you. You have a vision and will fight to the death for it. You’re passionate, intense and focused. Apply this to your love life and watch your stress melt away. Accept the one for you has got to have goals and completed accomplishments. Enough of the “falling for his potential.” Love on an installment plan doesn’t work — at least not for you.

FriskyScopes With Kiki T

For the week of April 7-13, 2008

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Hot, horny and insatiable is you on the 6th, when the new moon in Aries revs you up. However, the next day, when Venus, the sensuality planet, enters Aries, you’ll be officially out of control. Expect lewd thoughts to fill your brain and your body to go into automatic, rubbing against any hot thing with a pulse. As for personality, that’ll be the least of your cares.
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Kiki T Gives The Straight Dope On Pleasing Every Sign In The Zodiac

You know our girl Kiki T? She of the amazing FriskyScopes and Astrosexology Advice board in the Frisky Forums? Well, she’s a Renaissance woman — in addition to penning the fantastic Celestial Sexpots Handbook, she also recently became a featured expert on MyLifetime.com, where she dispenses sex and love advice straight from the stars. Check out her “Celestial Charm School” videos, especially the ones which give you the sexual and celestial lowdown on all the signs of the Zodiac. [Celestial Charm School With Kiki T] Keep reading »

FriskyScopes With Kiki T

For the week of March 31-April 6, 2008

Aries (March 21-April 19)
Your hotness heats up, so aim high. Don’t waste time on charity cases and borderline crushes. You know they only occupy mental space that then makes you waste time analyzing his actions when deep down you could care less. Break free of those habits now. A worthy contender is coming; until then, save the juice for a more savory flavor.
Keep reading »

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