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In Bed With … Ryan Reynolds

VITAL STATS:
Born: October 23, 1976 in Vancouver (Canada)
Sun Sign: Scorpio
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Libra
Venus: Sagittarius
Mars: Scorpio

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Ask The Astrosexologist: How Do I Choose Between Two Men?

I am a Sagittarius (11/27/75). About 12 years ago I met a Cancer (06/26/73) and from the beginning, it felt like there was an instant bond between us. Over the years we became really good friends and recently started dating. It’s been going well, though I don’t hear much from him. He goes out of town a lot, so I only get to spend time with him twice a month. During the times he’s been away, I’ve spent a lot of time with my single friends going out dancing and that’s when I met a younger Capricorn (12/27/87), who is fun, exciting and the best kisser ever. I’ve been spending less and less time with Cancer and more and more with Capricorn, but I’m not sure if there is any long term potential with him. I would really like to find someone to settle down with, but I just don’t know which one to choose, please help. – Saucy Sag Keep reading »

For The Week Of April 6-12, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

As the sign of efficiency, you tend to just assume the job of caretaker, navigator, events coordinator, etc. Hell honey, that is no way to live! Lucky for you, your baby is going to see it that way too and decide to get off his lazy little entitled butt (and without being told too) and work up a nice surprise for you, as in showing that he’s in for the ride too.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You’re a true romantic and god knows, everyone loves you for it. However, life isn’t working so great from that point of view, which means you’re going to have to kick a little more ass to get things going in the direction you want them to be in. Yes, this means dealing with those daily little responsibilities that get in the way of daydreaming.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Whoever is the one that is closest to you will be the one that’ll reveal many more thoughts and feelings inside them than you ever suspected was brewing behind that placid façade. Yes, emotions will be running high this week as your comfort zone gets shaken up with a little more fire, which if wielded properly will heat you up to prime tasting temperatures.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your caution will be on, as things you hear and feelings you have will be slowing you down to question the current scene you are in. Not to say you will be horrified, but with life having steamrolled you out into the place you are now, it’s been a while since you’ve had any real time to collect yourself — this week though, tune yourself back to full sharpness.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

No matter what your boo says to you, you’re the one with the brains in this relationship and it’s you that will have to also deal with your current dilemma and digging yourself out from the wreckage. Thankfully, he’ll be on board for whatever you have on the agenda — as he should have been all along.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

As smart as you think you are, your baby isn’t going to be buying any of your reasons or ideas for future plans right off the bat. Yes, this week is all about standstills, creating all sorts of aggravating and cheeky tensions. So, if you’re as bright as you think you are, twist this power for your gain, to get what you want and prove who the real master is.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Your mind will be floating on a marshmallow cloud and all will seem dreamy and creamy, as love is the drug that takes you higher and higher. No matter what all the naysayers have to say, screw ‘em! This is your time to feel so pretty and even if your world comes crashing down soon after, this moment of bliss would still be worth it.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ve made your mistakes, now, time to deal with them. If this means a little groveling, well that might just be the ticket to turn on that special someone that you’ve wronged in that tingly way that’ll make them swoon with a glimmer of hope for you. However, fate is on patrol and to truly get back into the game, it’s going to take more than just fast fixes, but true patience.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You don’t have to have all the answers all the time, but if you can just flub it and sound like you can hold your own, for now, that is all that will be required of you. Yes, efficiency is the theme and as long as you can keep the motion in a forward direction, then karma will pick up and shuffle you along onto the right path accordingly. You know it, just look pretty.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’re no dummy and for that, accept that when someone cute crosses your path with no game, it means no potential. Yes, as sad as it is, you’re way past just getting off on one-dimensional hotness. While it might be fun to string it along, why waste the time? There are so many better ways to spend your time than feeding your ego on empty calories — like feeding your wallet.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Get ready for a deluge of emotions you’ve been putting off to finally hit you and throw your balance majorly off. Instead of throwing yourself a grand pity party though, use it to resort your mind and get your priorities back in order — and remembering you have friends, because it goes, true love isn’t about only playing master and servant.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Sweet promises have a way of hypnotizing you and leading you to follow wherever those sounds are coming from. This week though, a major pause is going to be happening as you size up the actions versus the words, and it might seem that the equation won’t balance out in your favor, which only means one thing — taking back control big time!

Ask The Astrosexologist: Does My Makeout Partner Want Something More?

I’m very much attracted to a guy who happens to have the same birthday as me (9/11/84 @ 6:30 pm, don’t know his time). After two drunken makeout sessions, I’m very confused because he has been running hot and cold with me for the past two months. We’re friends and I can’t figure out if he’s afraid to make a move for the sake of the friendship or if he’s not interested. I can’t help but think that it’s significant that we share the same birthday, but am I reading too much into it? – Confused Keep reading »

For The Week Of March 30-April 5, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

They’ll be all sort of strange panics you’ll be having over your sex life, but don’t give into it much, as it’s all a state of mind. As long as you keep your eye on the prize, and avoid getting too emotional about your current circumstances, you will come out fine. After all, why add more pressure on yourself? This time around, let fate show you what its got.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your honey is only human and if you expect anything more than mediocre this week, you’ll be setting yourself up for a fall. Sure, he’ll be able to say all the right things, but doing them won’t be hitting the mark. Instead of defining your whole relationship on this week, be vigilant and don’t forget the past. Of course, if none of it adds up, then this is the week to subtract.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Bitching and moaning might be what you feel, but if you want that someone to come save your day, you’re going to have to seize your independence, go that holier than thou route and act as if you know it all. Your cockiness will translate well and draw him in like flies to honey. However, when all is said and done, don’t worry, bitching and moaning will also have its place and time.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You can’t help yourself from jumping on a good thing when you see it, but do beware than you have the tendency to flip flop your emotions just as fast and this time around someone’s heart will be on the line and unless you want to be responsible for a major disaster, think hard before promising anything beyond this week.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

If you’re a cohabitator, this is the week to tell your roomie to put in those extra hours at work, because your inner beast will be out in full force. Yes, moodiness will strike you at your homiest, making you bite off the head of anyone who can’t get with your program. So, unless your baby is completely whipped, tell him to run for cover.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Don’t read too much into anything you hear this week when it comes to love or sex, because chances are you’ll be adding in a lot more spice and chaos that the situation is asking for and in turn, making yourself your own worst enemy. Sure, being a little suspicious is always good, but in all things, think moderation. This time around, what you hear is really what you get.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The hell with debt; sometimes throwing money at a problem is the lesser of the evils and as this week pulls you through an emotional roller coaster that has you wondering where you’re going in the long term, the only way to come to a decent conclusion is pamper yourself like crazy and have the answers arise in the wake of your calm.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Your heart and mind are going to skitz out in opposite directions, but if you’re going to trust one, make it your mind. In terms of love, you’ll have no sense of right and wrong if you are lead by emotions and that will get you manipulated in the wrong way. However, if you’re prudent, your brains will get you through and prove to whomever that you’re not a bitch to be messed with.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

There is a fine line between devotion and being a doormat, this week be able to step back from your relationship and understand the distinction between the two. If need be, consult one of your closest and most outspoken friends and ask their opinion. If anything, that extra dose of tough love will prove to be the perfect antidote.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Being friends first doesn’t mean your prospect is a dog or thinks you’re one. Not every relationship needs to begin with mind-blowing sex games and avoiding each other on deeper levels. Yes, sometimes people are just that genuine and want to jump your bones for something more than just the superficial and that isn’t a bad or boring thing, if it’s done right.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Being able to talk a big game and being able to bring it are two very different things and unless you are willing to step back and let this latest boy toy prove his thing, you might never know unless its too late what he truly is capable of. Not to say you have to set him up, but if he truly is on the up and up, then it’ll be obvious fast.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Taking big risks bring big fears, but don’t let that rule you. Set a major plan in motion, like a possible long distance love affair or even just a big vacation, either or, ditching everything you know for what you don’t in some capacity will lead to extreme pleasures that’ll be lighting up your mind and body with incomprehensible delights.

In Bed With … Paul Rudd

VITAL STATS
Born: April 6, 1969 in Passaic, NJ
Sun Sign: Aries
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Sagittarius
Mercury: Aries
Venus: Aries
Mars: Sagittarius

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Ask The Astrosexologist: Am I Taking My Virgo’s Teasing Too Seriously?

I’m a Cancer (born June 27, 1989) and my lover is a Virgo (born September 12, 1987). We’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months. We both have this emotional pull and undeniable attraction towards each other and think we’re soul mates, but something keeps bothering me. I feel like he picks on me a lot. He’s critical about the way I dress and how much I weigh. For example, the day we met, he poked my thigh and was like, “Maybe you should go to the gym and work out.”

I don’t know if I’m being extra sensitive, which I am most of the time, but I love my curves and don’t want to change anything about my body. I run four times a week and eat healthy. Little things he says and does make me think maybe he’s not that into me, even though he claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me and wants me not to leave him. Am I being too sensitive for this harsh Virgo? Am I taking the little things too seriously? – Criticized Crab Keep reading »

For The Week Of March 23-29, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You never know where the surprises are going to occur this week, so best to just pay attention to your instincts and take those seedy mystery rides when you can, because this is the time when you will be in for an experience that you never quite had before, as it’ll expand your imagination to enter (and enjoy) realms you thought were only for freaks.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

With all the demands your baby will be making on you this week, it’ll be one of those times you’ll have to go deep into yourself and remind yourself why you love him. Sure, it won’t be easy to maneuver yourself amid the minefield of aggravation he’ll be planting, but as you know, to all your ups there has to be some downs.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Whatever routines you have going on, forget them. They won’t be working for you and the last thing that’ll get you off is anything familiar. Yes, take on whatever new challenges come your way or seek edgier opportunities, as that is what’ll give your mind and body the ultimate thrills to really get off on.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Emotions and the intellect can operate in two completely erratic ways. What you crave with your heart doesn’t always strike a cord in your mind. This week, expect to feel torn between two sides of yourself as they fight to find a common ground on someone new that comes into your life that almost fits perfectly, but just doesn’t quite make the mark.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Mounting sexual frustrations don’t have to be a burden anymore, if you can just stop being so hard on the prospects. Not to say you shouldn’t have standards, but getting a bit more creative in your approach can open up side to others that you didn’t think existed and in turn, can open you up in just the way to cure what ails.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’ll have just the right words to turn it out with that special someone, but the problem will be you won’t be in such the mood to do all that you say. Sure, you can tease all you want, but do have some mercy. While playing this part is a role you were born for, realize the whole point is to eventually provide some sort of release. Don’t reap what you can’t sow.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Home might be where you heart is, but that isn’t where your body should lay. When it comes to your new piece, don’t rush getting too personal too quickly, as you know your compassion sometimes has an aggravating way of leading you to charity dating. For now, work the social angles first to sort out if there is anything worthy to be revealed behind closed doors.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be feeling your power and working to enforce it. While this can bode well for you in career, friendship and with money, in love this won’t be in your favor. Judgments you make now and actions you take won’t be as you’d wish, but rather completely backwards. If you want anything sexy to happen this week, sorry to say, it’ll have to be with yourself.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your idealism is a fab world of horny sensations, but don’t be too shy in keeping them all in your head. Don’t shrug off ongoing fantasies, thinking they have to be just that — because at this moment, you are in a prime position to cross your reality with a little bit of your dream world, as the one you’ve got holding on is just the lead that will play out your needs properly.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

A friendship gets a dash of intrigue, as some bonding moment will take a PG point of view into a total Rated R one. Although you will want to act impetuously, know there are repercussions that can be positive and negative and weighing out the options is necessary if you want to explore the matters to your advantage. In other words, keep your panties on for now and think.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Intimidation is no turn-on. See a bully for who they are and don’t think you have to offer up any compassion or integrity to get him to do as you say, because if you give them an inch they will want a foot. Stand up for yourself this week and enforce your authority on yourself. This is the time for your ego to have its day.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

To get off on a whole new level, you’re going to have to let loose and let spontaneity do with you what it will. Action and adventure are on the agenda, but it’ll be more about the craziness of random events that’ll be stirring up your life and imagination than anything emotional. So that means yes to a period of wild sex, but no to romantic love.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Advice For My First Polyamorous Relationship!

I’m an energetic Aries and I’m getting involved in my first ever threesome relationship with two signs that are very compatible with mine — a very intriguing Sag woman and her awesome Gemini boyfriend. I know that the three of us should work out together, but is there any advice you can give me on how to keep things running smoothly in our happy partnership? I’m a little nervous about coming between them, is there anything I can do about that? — Two Become Three
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For The Week Of March 16-22, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

So what if you’re feeling a littler pushier this week and you want your baby to get off his ass and start doing more with himself than just turning into a parasite? This is not the time to be too sympathetic to anyone’s plight, but your own. Get the balance back in your own mind and screw the rest. If you can’t teach by example, consider it a lost cause.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Your anal energy will be going up a few notches, but this will be a perfect time to start using this special power to screen your life through and see what is basically adding or subtracting from the equation. Yes, this is your time to organize and gain maximum efficiency over all your matters and realize you can dominate.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Forget making plans, as they’ll only create expectations and a downward spiral to your current state of bliss. Best to just hop on this ride and take it where it will, as trying to make any predictions will only slow you down and prove nothing. Surprises are best when they actually are allowed to be surprises.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Everyone, even you, needs a little love and tenderness once in a while and for that, this is your perfect time to settle into a calmer state of mind and go private for just a few. If attached, this will give you time to get back in sync with your honey in a more familial way. If you’re single, this will give you space to get sense of clarity that’s been lacking.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Let your mind wander and take you off to a fairy never land where all is perfect and sweet and the way reality should be, if you were in control. While this isn’t going to turn out a miracle, this will help you get a greater sense of what you need to learn and how you need to step it up. Yes, dare to go off the beaten path and realize there is way more than meets the eye.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Get you party dress on and your ass out there. Prospects will be out by the droves, as there’ll be many places and faces that can bring on several positive opportunities for you — not just ones to get laid, but ones to move you up the ladder of success. The catch though, you’ll have to be the one to make that first move.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Enough is enough and all that bugs you will be no longer, as you won’t be the same compassionate lady you were just a few days ago. No, this week, it’s a change of plans, as life literally goes from bottom to top — as in you wielding a new sense of confidence to realize taking no bull and prisoners is your best suited style.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Get ready to hear lots of whining from your baby and be ready with the tough love. Sure, at first you might want to go the nurturing route, but soon enough you’ll learn that it won’t be of much use. To make the most of it, use this time to get in touch with your more creative side or at least, your more peacefully reclusive one.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your need to be social will resemble a manual car driven by someone who doesn’t know a thing about stick shift. Yes, emotions will be pulling you back and forth, making you wonder if you’re borderline personality. No matter, expect to feel crazy, and with that, be aware that fleeting love affairs are just part of this phase, so be careful of promising anything more than just a night.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your ambition will be going into overdrive and there won’t be anyone that can stop you on your mission. So, whatever your deepest desire is and what you think will make you feel like Queen of the hill, have it consume you over the next few weeks because this is the time come hell or high water you’re going to get what you want.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Who cares about always trying to take the high road; sometimes taking the lowest and sleaziest way is the one that’s best for you. After all, aspiring to be sweet (fake) all day can only make you so satisfied. This time around, dig deeper into your gut and realize that some grimy honesty is just what the doctor ordered.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Sex is a metaphor of a relationship; so if you’re not getting the thrill ride of your life, reconsider being on the love installment plan. Besides, there’s no reason you can’t be friends; after all, friends are is the category of people you admire, but don’t want to screw — which seems to be the area he fits in more and more. Admit it and get back on with your bad self.

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