When you live in New York City, it’s impossible not to find yourself inadvertently in the middle of someone else’s crazy. Sometimes it’s a domestic dispute and sometimes it’s a person in the throes of a psychotic break — either due to mental illness or substance use. You learn to assess these situations as best as possible and take your best guess as to whether to call the police or keep the hell out of it. This becomes even more difficult when you find yourself trapped in a subway car with a threatening situation. This happened to me this morning.
A visibly intoxicated 30-something woman got on my train. I’m guessing she was intoxicated because of the water bottle full of what looked and smelled like whiskey she was carrying and the way she was stumbling and slurring. As she pushed her way onto my subway car, she began ranting immediately. This happens a lot — ranters on the train. You usually move as far away from them as you can, avoid eye contact and hope for the best. It’s harder at rush hour when the train is crowded, as it was this morning. My personal motto when it comes to crazies on the train is: “Don’t poke the mad dog.” Keep reading »
Paging Winona: There’s a dreadlocked lothario almost-killer roaming your fair city of Portland. It seems that this dreadlocked dude attempted to strangle his girlfriend to death using one of his dreadlocks. (Please insert terrible, “talk about organic” joke here.) I guess sometimes you work with what you have — and in the case of 32-year-old Portland, Oregon, resident Caleb Grotberg, he had dreadlocks at hand.
Now, let me clear — there is nothing funny, at all, about a woman being victimized by a dude and his dreads, and we’re glad to hear that the victim survived the attack. But there is something eternally funny about a white dude with dreadlocks. Keep reading »
As if dealing with a cheating and violent husband is not enough to endure, a Bangladeshi woman had acid thrown into her face by her husband when she dared to divorce him.
Nurbanu, 36, discovered her husband with another woman and divorced him — only to find herself doused in acid by him eight days later. Now, blind and with a completely scarred and mutilated face, Nurbanu has been forced to remarry her husband. Keep reading »
It’s been a very WTF week. But even in the wake of what you think was the most the WTF week, even more WTF stories emerge.
Thirty-four-year-old Keith Paro of West Springfield, MA, turned himself into authorities after beating his girlfriend with his pet python. YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY. That is like a double worst nightmare: being beaten with a live snake. Keep reading »
I’ll bet you’ve never heard of a happy ending like this before. A Kansas woman is suing her personal trainer for allegedly ejaculating on her feet after a training session at the gym. Groaaaaannnn.
After completing her workout at her Gold’s Gym in Merriam, Kansas, Ashley Clevenger claims her trainer Darrell Davis took her back to a room “equipped and designated for massages.” While she was on her stomach getting her legs and feet massaged, Clevenger claims she felt “something strange on her feet that did not feel like hands.” She turned around and saw Davis “rubbing his exposed penis on her feet” and “ejaculat[ing] on [her] feet.” Clevenger is suing for psychological and emotional damages. Keep reading »
Apparently, reading 50 Shades of Grey warrants being squirted in the face with 50 Shades of Brown.
Raymond Hodgson, 31, was recently charged with common assault after finding his partner, Emma McCormick, reading the BDSM erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey, before slapping her in the face and squirting a mysterious brown sauce on her because he found the books “pornographic” and “distasteful.” Keep reading »
While you were eating your breakfast this weekend, a Pennsylvania woman was being assaulted by hers. The 51-year-old was rushed to the emergency room after her 11-year-old son attacked her with a toaster pastry. Because that’s what you do when you get into a verbal altercation with your mother, you strike her in the face with a Pop Tart. I’ve never thought of using a Pop Tart as a weapon, but I suppose they are rather dense. Hopefully this argument didn’t start because the boy hated his breakfast. Maybe next time she’ll serve him something less dangerous … like scrambled eggs. [Boing Boing]
As a mid-20s Manhattanite who leads a hectic life reliant on long hours, late evenings, and public transportation, I’ve often considered what would happen if I ever found myself in a threatening situation. Standing more than six feet tall in my favorite wedges, with fiery red hair and freckly arms, I’ve thought of myself less as a meek target and more as a ginger Amazon. Be warned, potential attackers: this chick is a former figure skater, a regular yogi, and a long-distance runner. Keep reading »
Jack Shepherd may drink heavily. He may have resolved not to press the button, and made a slew of other assorted decisions that led to a castaway’s demise. But the #1 thing that Jack would never do? Punch a woman. Unfortunately, it appears that Matthew Fox, who played the iconic character on “Lost,” might not be able to say the same thing. Fox has been arrested for allegedly punching a female bus driver, 29-year-old Heather Borman. This apparent altercation went down Saturday night when Fox tried to board a private party bus in Cleveland, Ohio, when he was not with the party that had rented it. Fox and the driver exchanged words, and then Fox allegedly punched her in the chest and stomach. The driver struck back, supposedly breaking her hand. At which point the police were called. “This was my self-defense,” Bormann said to TMZ. “This was the only way I could protect myself … from a man beating up on a woman.” Guess we’ll have to wait and see how this case develops. In the meantime, I will hope it is not true and be incredibly disgusted if it is. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Stephanie Robinette, a teacher in Delaware, has been charged with resisting arrest and assaulting police officers. But it’s the weapon she used that is highly unusual. On Saturday night, Robinette attended a wedding where she had too much to drink. After hitting her husband several times, she darted for their car and locked herself inside. When police officers arrived and tried to get her out of the car, she told them that she was a breastfeeding mom. At that point, she unleashed one of the girls from her dress and bra and began spraying the officers with breast milk. She was arrested on the spot. Though she did apologize for the incident saying, “I have no criminal record; I take these charges very seriously and I absolutely intend to seek help for substance abuse with alcohol because alcoholism does run in my family,” she plans to plead not guilty. Though I guess technically, it’s assault with a life-giving weapon rather than a deadly one? [10TV, Newser] Keep reading »