Charmin toilet paper ads usually include cute bears experiencing mishaps with toilet paper and eventually figuring out that Charmin is the best! This ad is a little bit different in that it is a butt. Literally, it is just a butt. A butt really close up so that the fold between pages looks like the ass crack. I guess the idea here is that if you use Charmin, your butt will be so clean that somebody could get that close? Honestly, I prefer the antics of the bears. [Buzzfeed]
This week’s New York magazine cover story, meant to help us get to know front-runner New York City mayoral candidate Christine Quinn, is, unintentionally perhaps, peppered with witty one-liners that would make RuPaul and Michelle Visage jealous. The highlight is Mayor Bloomberg’s little cameo where he gestures toward a woman in a very tight floor-length gown standing nearby and says to Quinn, “Look at the ass on her.” Sure, this can be seen as objectifying skeeviness, but when, in the next paragraph, Quinn talks about how Bloomberg doesn’t like her in flat boots, you get the picture that these two are the catty, shade-throwing queens of City Hall. They should really throw a ball and read politicians all night. I’d attend. Below, some of their best lines. Oh, and if you’re not familiar with Bloomberg, you should check out his parody Twitter account, @ElBloombito. [New York Magazine]
Apparently, there’s a big debate going on in THE WORLD about the state of Coco’s caboose. Put your mind at ease. She insists her ass is 100 percent real. It’s just gotten bigger because she has hit the ripe old age of 32 and she’s getting bigger in all the right places. Lucky her. Her ass realness is confirmed by the official “Doctors” jiggle test (a thinly veiled excuse for everyone to stare at her ass). I can’t believe Tyra Banks didn’t think of the jiggle test first. I guess she was too busy tooching.
So that settles it. Coco’s butt is real because it’s jiggly like her breast implants and not hard like those weird, silicone butt implants and because it has its own personality. But before large booties were the big thing in Hollywood, Coco suffered with that behind of hers. People called her fat. Her own grandmother tried to smother that thing by putting a girdle on her when she was only nine years old. If only granny could see her now. [WOW]
An open letter to the Michigan state reps who are offended by the word. Read More »
I have a couple or 10 friends who are seriously tatted up. And one of ‘em even has a butt tattoo. But his butt tattoo is nowhere near as serious as the tattoo this anonymous lady got on her bum. I get feeling your dark side, but feeling it enough that you want to sit on it every day? Well, that is serious.
You know you were curious about what would happen when Coco’s ass and aerial yoga made each other’s acquaintance. Well, here you go. I happen to know that this pose is called Monkey. I know this because I’ve done aerial yoga. But my butt never looks quite like that. Coincidentally, “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen just came on my Spotify mix. As Freddie Mercury says, “Fat bottomed girls make the rocking world go ’round.” Indeed. [Buzzfeed]